Elliot,

Literary: Open Letter to...

2/14/2020 08:31:00 PM Media Center 0 Comments




Dearest ********,

I saw you die in my dream.

I woke up with tears falling down my cheeks, jumped out of my bed and kept pacing back and forth with my heart racing. I wanted to call you, text you, message you to make sure that you were safe, but then I remembered, we were not okay, and it was not a great time. I put my phone away and tried to get back to sleep.

I woke up and brushed it off, thinking it would not happen again. For the next few days, I carried on with my daily routine but as soon as I fell asleep, I would see you in my dreams. I would hear your laugh, I would see your smile, I would remember the feeling when everything was alright, but it would always end with a goodbye, with you, dying. I tried to save you numerous times, but I was frozen, I couldn’t move. My heart would ache as I realize that I couldn’t do anything about it, as I could only watch you slowly fade away.

I decided to talk to my therapist about these dreams and told me that dreams like this could mean that person hurt you deeply and the fact that I was trying to save you showed how much I care for you, but it’s also my subconscious telling me that this relationship is unhealthy for me.

Seeing you with another person made me feel insecure. For the longest time I thought, What went wrong? Was it me? Did I do something wrong? Am I not worth it? For days I kept telling myself that I could easily forget you and that I will not let this consume me. Every day I would look my best, laugh, smile, and act like it didn’t affect me at all. After a few days, I convinced myself that I had moved on and the funny thing is, I really thought I did.

You really hurt me and now, I’ve accepted that fact. I want to say that I regret loving you, but I would be lying. I’m sorry that it has to end like this, but I really need this time for myself, so that I can heal. Thank you for all the wonderful memories that I will forever treasure. Please don’t forget to take care of yourself. I wish you all the best.

Thank you and goodbye :)

With love,
********

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