Showing posts with label MakeaChoice. Show all posts

Literary (Submission): Tanglaw ng Pagbabago



Tayong lahat sa mundong 'to'y
Nagdaan na sa mahamog na dagat
Kung saa'y waring dilim ang nakikita
At puros lamig ang humahaplos sa balat
"Ayos lang yaan, tayo'y dito na lamang"
Wika niya na nakokontento na lang
"Masaya tayo rito, wala na tayong hinaharap,"
Wika niyang takot nang mangarap
Ngunit hindi ikaw
Hindi ikaw na mayroong mapatutunayan
Hindi ikaw na nangangarap at 'di takot sa hinaharap
Hindi ikaw na mayroon pang ipaglalaban
At hindi ikaw na napakarami pang matututunan
Kaya kung sakaling dumating ang araw
Na may init na hahaplos sa iyong balat
At may biglang liwanag na tumusok sa hamog ng dagat
Habang sila'y natatakot, lilingon, at sisilong sa lungga
Ika'y mahihimasmasan, haharap, at ngingiti nang bahagya
Hindi ka matatakot, hindi mo agad tatanggihan
At nang wala kang pagsisisihan pagdating sa iyong himlayan
Sapagkat habang sila'y nagmamadaling magtago
Ikaw nama'y sasalubungin ang tanglaw ng pagbabago

Literary (Submission): Je Ne Regrette Rien



I did
I chose to raise my stakes
I risked everything
In the hopes of getting the highest prize
Through my constant efforts and multiple tries

I did
I kept on losing
To the same person again and again
He seemed to know my game plan
And where each bluff ended and began

I did
I was oblivious to the fact
That actually, he meant something more
More than just a triumph I couldn’t attain
More than just another rejection’s pain

But I still did
I kept playing the game
Maybe somehow, I would finally win
However, my confidence got the best of me
And in the last round, I suffered the biggest casualty

But I still did
I picked up my broken pieces
Scarring my hands along the way
Putting them back together
Hoping that in my next bet, it’d be better

I will
Someday I will forget him
The boy I constantly lost to
My first gamble and first defeat
Because of the many others he also played with, how can I compete?

I am
I’m glad I stayed for the excitement he brought
Even though it was fictitious and fleeting
But I never did and never will
Regret anything

Literary (Submission): Sa Wakas



Ang unang bugso ng mga emosyon ay tulad noong una kong namalayan na mahal na kita. Naaalala ko ang iyong magagandang mata, itim na buhok, at matamis na ngiti. Sila ang unang sumalubong sa akin noong una tayong magkita, at dumagdag pa ang malambot na pagbalot ng liwanag ng araw sa iyong mukha.

Nagmistula kang anghel at ‘di kita malimutan. Hindi ko naman inakalang ikaw ang magbabago sa lahat ng alam ko sa buhay. Noong nagtagpo ang ating mga landas ay tumaob na pala ang aking mundo sabay nang pagkabuo nito.

Isang segundo. Isang segundo lang ang kinailangan ko upang malaman na nahulog na nga ako sa’yo.

Naaalala ko ang tibok ng aking puso, bumilis ito noong nakita kita. ‘Di pa rin ako makapaniwala hanggang ngayon na totoo pala ang sabi-sabi ng mga tao: “’Pag nakita mo na ang taong mahal mo, babagal ang takbo ng mundo at tanging siya lang ang makikita mo.”

Sa isang segundong iyon, huminto ang paligid ko. Wala akong narinig kundi ang mabilis na tibok ng puso ko, at sa kwarto na puno ng mga tao ikaw lang ang aking tanging nakita—para bang ang araw ay sumikat lamang para sa’yo. Natapos ang isang segundong iyon at bumalik na ang ingay at ang mga tao sa paligid natin.

Pagkatapos ko itong maranasan, para bang nakaahon ako mula sa malalim na karagatan, hinahabol ang hininga at nanginginig dahil sa dami ng emosyong biglaang bumagsak sa aking mga balikat. Saka ko lang napagtanto, na totoo at buo ang nararamdaman ko para sa’yo.

Natatandaan mo ba noong hinawakan mo ang aking kamay nang matagal at mahigpit, habang nanunuod tayo ng nakakatakot na pelikula? Naramdaman mo ba na kumalma ang puso ko dahil alam kong naroon ka sa tabi ko?

Siguro mahirap kasing magkimkim ng damdamin, lalo na kung unang beses itong naramdaman, kaya agaran kitang kinausap at sinabi ko sa’yo na mahal kita. Mahal kita, iyon ang totoo. Hindi ko kailangang marinig kung maibabalik mo ito kasi para sa akin ang mahalaga’y malaman mo na may taong nagmamahal sa’yo, ano man ang gawin mo. Pero siguro ‘di ka naniwala dahil hindi ko nagawang sabihin sa’yo ito nang harapan. Ang totoo, ayaw ko lang namang makita mo akong umiiyak, dahil ayaw kong maramdaman mo na may mali kang ginawa. Pangako, hindi ko pinagsisihan na ikaw ang minahal ko dahil kahit ‘di mo ito ibinalik ay naging masaya ako.

Pero nakikita ko na ngayon, na sobrang makasarili ng desisyon kong umamin sa’yo. ‘Di lang puso ko ang nawasak, kundi pati ang pagkakaibigan natin. Hindi ko ito masyadong pinag-isipan. Hindi ko pinag-isipan ang mga susunod na gabing hindi mo na ako kakausapin tungkol sa iyong araw dahil ayaw mo na akong masaktan.

Patawarin mo ako dahil winasak ko ang pagkakaibigan nating dalawa. Ngayon ko lang namalayan na kakayanin kong maging kaibigan mo lang, basta’t kinakausap mo pa rin ako tulad ng dati.

At katulad noong unang hampas ng alon ng pagmamahal ko sa’yo, nilunod din ako ng kalungkutan ko. Hindi ko matandaan kung kalian ako sinampal ng katotohanan sa mukha, pero ang natatandaan ko ay kung gaano ito kasakit.

Naalala ko ang magaganda mong mga mata, ang itim mong buhok, ang matamis mong ngiti, at ang distansiya sa pagitan nating dalawa. Nakakatawa nga ito dahil ika’y malapit, isang braso lang ang pagitan mo sa akin, pero pakiramdam ko ang layo natin sa isa’t isa. Kapag hinawakan ko bang muli ang iyong kamay, mahigpit pa rin ba ang iyong pagkapit sa akin parang noong una?

Sinayaw muli kita. Natagalan ako nang onti, hinahanap ko kasi ang tamang panahon na hindi manginginig ang aking mga paa. Hindi ko naman inakala na mabagal ang kantang nasaktuhan natin pero hinayaan ko na lang kasi kanina mo pa inaantay na tanungin kita. Hinayaan kong tumibok ang puso ko para sa’yo. Hinayaan kong malunod sa mga alaala na binigay mo sa akin habang minamahal kita. Pinipigilan ko ang mga luha ko dahil ayaw kong mag-alala ka. At noong sa tingin ko’y kumalma na muli ang puso ko, binulungan muna kita bago ako lumayo.

Salamat dahil nandiyan ka pa rin kahit nasira ko na ang pagkakaibigan nating dalawa. Salamat dahil ‘di mo ako nilayuan at dahan-dahan ka sa bawat salita at kilos upang ‘di ako mas lalong mahulog para sa’yo. Ngunit patawarin mo ako. Nahulog pa rin ako dahil ikaw ang pinili ng puso ko.
Pagkatapos ng mga gabing iniiyakan ka, mga araw na sinusundan ang anino mo, mga panahong sumasakit na ang batok ko sa kakalingon para lamang makita kahit ang isang hibla ng buhok mo, pinili kong pakawalan ka na.

Itatago ko na lang ang mga emosyong ito sa pinakasulok ng utak ko at gagawa ng mga bagong alaala.

Ngayon na ang huling beses na iiyak ako para sa’yo. Kasabay nito, isinusulat ko na ang lahat ng ito sa huling pahina ng mga pangarap ng tayong dalawa.

Literary (Submission): Ikaw



Ikaw ‘yong uri ng tula na ayaw kong simulan
Alam mo kung bakit?
Kasi takot akong ito’y wakasan
Dahil gusto ko, na may tayo pa rin hanggang kinabukasan.

Pero kahit magsulat ako ng masasayang tula
Nag-uunahan pa ring bumagsak ang aking mga luha
Sa pag-asang magkakaroon muli ng bagong simula
Para sa ating dalawa, para sa salitang “tayo” na nawala.

Kasama ng mga pangako mo, naglaho kang parang bula
Iniwan mo akong sa langit ay nakatulala
Umiiyak, nagtatanong, “Ano bang hindi ko naibigay
At pinili mong bitawan ang aking mga kamay?”

Pero ngayon lalagyan ko na ng wakas
Pagkat patay na ang mga rosas.
Patay na ang salitang tayo
Dahil mayroon nang kayo.

Literary (Submission): Choose C



When in doubt, choose C.
It’s simple and easy
And it could be the right answer,
That’s easy to see.

But then I doubted, I chose U.
Far from C, but will still do.
U stood out from all the letters
Because back then, only U did matter.

Of all the choices made, I was lost in the mix.
I wasn’t found from numbers one to twenty-six.
And the result was only almost perfect
Because I was lost, it’s true,
I should have been next to U.

But now when I doubt,
I will only choose C
It’s simple and easy.
And in this test I’ll take, we’ll see
U and I will only matter
When they’re next to each other.

Literary: Hangganan



Umikot ang mundo, Iniwan ang sarili para sayo.

Ilang taon ang ginugol, kahihintay, kaaabang sa isang bagay na walang kasiguraduhan. Tumaya at sumugal sa isang patimpalak na ang inaasahang premyo ay ikaw. Natali sa mga salitang “baka”, “malay mo” at “oo siguro” gusto ka rin niya, kaya kumapit ka lang. Nakulong sa mga dapat gawin at dapat ginawa, dahil sa tingin ng lahat iyon ang tama.

Hindi inisip ang mararamdaman, sinubok na makuntento na mapasaya ka sa bawat araw na ika’y makakasama. Paulit-ulit bawat taon, nasanay na lang hanggang sa mamanhid na at mapagod.

Nagising isang araw sa isang katanungan na wala ba akong karapatang masuklian?

Marahil oo paminsan-minsan nakikita, nararamdaman, pero sapat ba? Gusto ng lahat ng tao na intindihin ka, puro ikaw, puro kapakanan mo lang. Sa aki’y wala nang natira.

Namulat ang mata, tumigil sa pagtaya.

Pasensya ka na kung bigla-bigla. Pasensya na kung padalos-dalos.

Kikilalanin ko muna ang sarili, aalamin kung ano ba talaga ang ninanais at susubukan muna ang mga bagay-bagay.

Malaya ka at Malaya ako. Isang mundong nakapatay ang mga ilaw at kamera para sa kinagigiliwan nilang “dream lovestory” nating dalawa. Isang mundong malayo sa panghuhusga kung saan hindi tayo nalilimita sa mga gusto nilang makita.

Oo, Marahil,Siguro nanghihinayang ako. Hindi maiwasang isipin na sa hinaharap ay pagsisisihan ang mga desisyong ito. Ngunit mas manghihinayang ako kung patuloy akong magpapakulong sa isang bagay na “hindi tayo” pero dapat nananatiling may “ikaw at ako”.

Susuong sa isang mundong walang kasiguraduhan. Lalabanan ang takot na mawalan.

At

Kung muling pagtatagpuin ng panahon, sa hindi inaasahang lugar, oras o pagkakataon, lagi mong alalahanin na sa puso ko’y nag-iwan ka na ng marka at kahit kailan malabong makalimutan ka.

Kaya siguro,

Hanggang sa muling pagtibok ng puso,
Hanggang sa muling pagtaya ko.
Hanggang sa muling pagkikita.
Salamat at
Hanggang Dito na lang muna,
Ako

Literary: Sincerely



May hangganan ba ang kalayaan ng isang tao?

Malaya bang pinipili ng binhi kung saan siya sisibol?

Malaya bang pinipili ng ulan kung kailan siya titila?

Malaya ba tayong pumipili?

Malaya bang pumipili ang puso?

Hinga nang malalim
Diretso ang tingin
Naroon lamang siya

Maraming bagay na kusang dumarating sa atin nang walang pahintulot— hindi napipili ng ina ang kanyang anak, at hindi rin ng anak ang kanyang ina. Mayroong mga bagay at mga taong hindi natin inaasahan ngunit magiging bahagi sila ng buhay natin, kahit panandalian lamang.

Masuwerte ang mga taong malayang nakakapili ng gusto nila, dahil mahirap pumili nang malaya kung nadaraig tayo ng takot. Madalas nadadala tayo ng takot at napipilit tayo nitong hindi magsalita sa mga sandaling sana’y nagsalita tayo. Pero minsan, ang takot sa sasabihin o iisipin ng iba ay higit na mabagsik. Madalas ang takot na ito ang pumipilit sa ating gawin ang isang bagay dahil lamang sinasabi ito ng iba. Minsan tuloy malabo na ang pagitan ng anong palagay mo at anong palagay nila.

Paano kasi kung hindi ko pa talaga alam ang pipiliin ko? Pwede bang hindi muna pumili?

Bakit nga naman hindi?
Halata ang alinlangan
Sa kanyang pagtingin
Ganoon ka rin

Paano nga kaya iyon, kung hindi naman talaga malinaw ang isang bagay sa pagitan ninyong dalawa pero parang mas malinaw pa ito sa iba? Paano kung hanggang ganoon lang talaga kayo? At paano kung, tanggap na naman pala ninyo iyon sa isa’t isa?

Paborito talaga ng tao ang magmadali, ano? Nakakatawa palang isipin, na minsan kulang na lang ay akalain nating wala nang bukas.

Bakit kaya?

Nagsasayaw tulad noon—
Marami ang nagbago
Sa inyong dalawa

Ngunit mas kakaiba
Dahil tila ngayon
Ay muling nagsisimula

Bakit minsan pakiramdam ko parang kailangan pumili ako agad, parang dapat alam ko na ang gagawin ko? Talaga bang nauubos na ang oras ko, ang pagkakataon ko? Paano kung hindi lang talaga iyon ang tamang pagkakataon? At paano kung hindi talaga kami ang ipinagkataon?

Talaga bang sayang kung mangyari ang hindi mo inaasahan? Talaga bang dapat ikalungkot ang mga bagay na binibitawan? Paano kung ang bagay na pinanghahawakan natin ang tanging balakid sa pagpili nang malaya?

Hindi ba’t, lalo na sa mga mahahalagang bagay ay hindi naman talaga basta-basta ang pagpili nang tama? Hindi naman agad napipili ng bata kung ano ang gusto niyang maging paglaki. Hindi naman agad napipili ng isang tao kung sino ang mamahalin niya habambuhay.

Ganoon nga siguro talaga ang hamon ng realidad, ang matiyak sa sarili mo kung ano ba talagang gusto mo at piliin iyon. Sa huli, ang mahalaga ay pipili ka.

Nakakatuwang isipin na sa paglipas ng mga taon ay umabot sa ganito ang mga sinusulat ko, mga bagay na sa unang tingin ay waring mababaw pero may taglay din palang bigat. Kahit pala sa mga paksa tulad ng pag-ibig ay marami tayong natututunan tungkol sa iba, at lalo na tungkol sa ating mga sarili. Ngayon, ipinagpapasalamat ko lamang ang pagkakaibigang nabuo natin sa mga nagdaang taon. Napapangiti pa rin ako sa tuwing naaalala ko ang nakakatuwang kuwentuhan, asaran, at ang ating naging magandang samahan. Pagdating naman doon, para sa akin ay wala pa ring nagbabago— magkaibigan pa rin tayo. :)

Ngayon, ang hiling ko lamang para sa ating dalawa ay sana patuloy tayong matuto sa marami pang bagay sa mundo. Sa pagkakataong ito, piliin na nating maging mas matatag. Piliin nating hindi na matakot na kilalanin pa ang ating mga sarili habang tinatahak ang kuwento ng buhay.

At higit sa lahat, piliin nating maging malaya.

Hinga nang malalim
Hakbang nang pasulong
At magpatuloy na
Ngumiti sa buwan
Salubungin ang bukas
Batiin ang umaga

Literary: Not To



People say
One must learn
How to love thyself first
Before others

But how could I?
When I hate
All that I am?

Wide forehead
Flat nose
Un-plucked eyebrows
Pimpled cheeks
Angry stretchmarks
And a teeth gap
On top of that

Truth be told
I hate everything that I am

But thanks to you

I am now in the process
Of choosing not to

Literary: Not Sorry



Ruefully made choices
Surprise me no longer;
Every day I live
By my deliberate wrongdoings
Their ghosts haunt me
As I bend back the fingers
That point at me accusingly
I’ve long washed myself of guilt
And I’ve long turned away
From the prospect of forgiving
Why repent
If I’d fall back in sin, anyway?
Why repent
If you’d take me back in, anyway?
So as much as I
Would like to feel remorse
It is with no contrition
That I say this:
Sorry,
You were just one
Of my wrong choices

Literary: Garder



If you ever think of leaving
Untwine your fingers from mine
Slowly one by one
And yes, shyly bow your head,
Then reminisce your promises
Remember how you often stare at my hands?
Fascinated, unconsciously saying,
“I will not let go of such a beautiful thing”

If you ever think of leaving
Break your cup
Drop it, crush it to pieces
Never drink your coffee from it again
Do not let yourself remember the taste of love’s lips
I wonder, will your morning be as sweet as then?

If you ever think of leaving
Slowly walk away
From where we’d usually meet
If ever you come to pass by
Do not look, do not stop
May you forget our laughter shared
And the comfort basked in

And if you ever think of leaving,
This is my last bargain:
Take your look
Away from me
And do it
If you will be happier
And if you shall.

I hope you won’t. I hope you shan’t.

Literary: Condolence



Here lies his tomb
Not of smooth sycamore wood,
Or dark granite stone,
Nor brilliant golden pure

But an unadorned bedroom
The simplicity, falsehood
An illusion, peacefulness' clone
Though violent storms it did endure

The bed was his throne
On smooth silk his hand would glide
It felt cold to the touch
Like the marble wherein bones would hide

There he lay, staring at the window
Bright sunlight the curtains nullified
It's difficult to reside among the living
When with him, only numbness lived inside

To live - to endure - is tiring
To be unexplainably weak is tiring
Even lying on this bed was tiring
He was tired without even trying

Perhaps it was the time
For a long, indefinite rest
Evanesce like how the light wanes
As dusk introduces the moon's waxing crest

It is a hobby of humans to think
That angels still remained where they once stood
There are no saviors but yourselves
Is it a sin to be weak as he was, for good?

In this world, there are but two outcomes
For those who live but half a life and grieve
Should you choose to stay, you lose
Should you choose to leave...

Night came
This world and his simple room,
The darkness laid claim

The quiet wind blew into his room
It lulled him with ease
His breathing slowed and synchronized
With the sway of the mellow breeze

And...
...He died

And the next day...
...He woke up

Yet there where he once lay
Someone else took his place
A shadow of a shadow of life
A different mind, yet of the same face

This newcomer he sat down
And on the smooth silk he glided his hand
It felt cold to the touch, like the icy heart
Of those who swear of a promised land

There was a glint that shown in his eyes
Yet calculating and cruel
There will be blood, and none of it his
He was a fighter, unlike the former fool

Maybe it's the time for a little retribution
Make the world pay, like anyone else would
Do what everyone else wants to do,
To stand where angels once stood

In this world, there are but two outcomes
For those who are easily misperceived
Should you choose to stay, you need to change
If you can't change, you should leave

Literary: Modify



True or False. Write True if the statement is true. If False, rewrite the statement to make it true.

1. It’s been quite a while since we’ve last talked. (True)
2. I don’t miss you like I used to. (I still miss you all the same.)
3. There were things we didn’t say. (There were things I wish you said.)
4. We had promises we had yet to keep. (I couldn’t keep my side of the bargain.)
5. You didn’t choose to keep me with you. (I chose to let you go.)
6. I thought that I was doing this for you. (I knew it was all in my favor.)
7. We could have been the happiest. (I knew deep down we already were.)
8. I took you for granted. (True)
9. You loved me still. (True)
10. But not anymore. (True)

Literary: I Choose to Say Goodbye



I received mail. It’s the letter that I sent to you.

It read:
I find myself looking for you in the room even though I promised myself not to.

I contradict myself every time I see you--- you with the pretty face, pixie hair, green eyes, and contagious smile.

I want to talk to you, run away with you, dance with you, and sing with you. The problem is that every time I do, my life comes to ruins.

I know I’m alone and lonely. Whenever I’m with you, my surroundings vanish, everyone is silent, and I don’t care what people think I am. I yearn for that feeling, but I have to wake up. I have to make myself remember that I can’t be with you. We can’t be together. You’re my best friend, my listener, and my partner-in-crime. You protect me, but every time you do, I lose. I lose myself.

I remember our first conversation. I was at the back of the room trying to disappear. You came to the class confidently and sat beside me. We exchanged names, numbers, and interests. You paved your way into my system. Your whole being made me attracted to you. I love those times, but now, I need to burn them. I need to choose to say goodbye to you. That is the only way for me to live.

Goodbye, forever.
---

I sigh and closed the door. It has been months since I last saw you. I hope to never see you again but, it seems that luck is not by my side today. As soon as I turn around, you show up with that pretty face of yours.

“I’ll stay no matter what,” you said.

“No. You can’t. I have to face reality.”

“Why are you so cruel to me? I did nothing wrong. Please, let me stay,” you pleaded.

I stared at those teary eyes. I started to lose my senses. Once again, you’re taking over my system. I began to think about those years with you. It was the best time of my life. You were a great friend who would never leave me.

Thankfully, I heard my alarm. I reached for my water jug and a small white opaque tablet.

“Don’t please!”

“This is for the best,” I smiled and took my pills.

---

I’m sure that you’ll come back, but I will always choose to live attached in this reality.

Literary: Run Away





4mi. 27:36.50. I’m getting a little slower than my past few runs. Sweat runs from my temples down to my chin, from my neck down to my shoulders and back, and all limbs are also drenched. My heartbeat is faster than the way my legs worked my run a while ago. Trying to catch my breath, I look up as I pant. The sky is different now from when I started running: from a hue that of cinnabar, it turned into a mellow shade of dark blue. The frigid wind of February blends with the sweat that covers my skin—cold.

Every mile was hell—to my legs, my lungs, my mind, my heart. I thought it’d only beat me physically—I was wrong. The first strong strides were completely normal, but as I progressed, as I grew weary, my mind started working as well. Thoughts started crashing in one after the other—thoughts of you, of us, and of everything with it. It’s funny how I pondered about my life in half an hour.

1st mi. 6:48.10. Too fast—it was all too fast. We met, and after a few awkward moments, we clicked. I loved the warmth of your company. You listened to me and all the nonsense I blabbered about, and so did I to you. We shared a lot of things together—realizations on life, stories about the person we like, experiences no matter how stupid they were, and moments spent together. From the most random boiling down to the deepest sentiment, we had them all. You became my go-to person, a friend I could always lean on. Without noticing, I got used to you being around and I have to admit, I never felt this kind of comfort around someone for a long time.

2nd mi. 6:57.15. Sluggish—as if the world turned a little slower than usual. Nights felt longer—every evening conversation mattered. Hugs felt warmer than they were before. You paint smiles on my face. And it was quite dull when you weren’t around. You started to look different in my eyes. We were a step farther from being friends—a little closer I guess. Until to my heart, you stood by. It was as if you moved close to the warmth of a bonfire in the middle of a cold night. Slowly, slowly, little by little, you moved close—too close that you burned yourself from the fire.

3rd mi. 6:51.18. Panic—I lost hold of the pace. The same heat was burning me too. I’m afraid of the fire, of the thing that I was feeling for I felt that it was not right—I was afraid of love. For a long time, I believed that love would only break after some time. The strong bond you made would only be broken by some force you are not aware of, leaving you helpless, alone, begging for the thing you once felt before. I didn’t want that to happen to us, not because I didn’t believe in the chances that it’d be you and me in the end, but because I didn’t want to risk it. And my fear, my loss of heart, led me to run away from everything that was happening—led us to part. I thought it was the right thing to do—to burn bridges before they were even built.

4th mi. 7:00.07. Too long—it felt like we’ve been away for too long. Stupid decisions yield stupid results—burning bridges ended up burning me. It was so ironic that the event I tried to avoid only ended up happening. What I ran away from now chases me down when I thought I have already left it behind. Our time together that I treasured and protected is now just ashes and memories of the past. Now, I lost you, together with a part of me that you held in your hands. What’s worse is that I can never run back, or if I did, some things aren’t really capable of repair anymore.

Looking up as my sweat runs down my body, I wondered. I’ve been running for a few days, weeks, or maybe even months now—why was I even doing this? To run away from everything again? Those 4 miles felt like an eternity, maybe I shouldn’t have done it in the first place. I took a sip of my water bottle, grabbed my towel, wiped the sweat off of me, and packed up to head home. Heavy breaths, sore limbs, my vision spinning round—I’m tired of running, of thinking, of feeling.

I just want to rest.

Literary: Takot Ako




Takot ako sa ulan
At sa kasabay nitong kulog at kidlat
Sa lakas ng hanging dala nito
At sa kulimlim na itinatakip nito sa langit

Takot ako sa karagatan
At sa lalim ng tubig-alat nito
Sa taas ng mga along naglalakbay rito
At sa mga sikretong tinatago ng ilalim nito

Takot ako sa dilim
At sa kapahamakang maaring idulot nito
Sa mga multong nagtatago sa paligid nito
At sa pag-iisang ipinaparamdam nito

Takot ako sa maraming bagay
Pati na sa pag-ibig

Takot akong magmahal
At sa bagyo ng damdaming ibinibigay nito
Sa dagat ng pagdududang meron ito
At sa dilim ng mga alaalang maari nitong ibalik

Pero dumating ka’t pinili mo ako
Tinuro mo kung paanong maging matapang

Tinuro mong
Kahit mabasa ako ng ulan
Ay may bahagharing lilitaw pa rin sa kalangitan

Kahit mapunta man ako sa gitna ng malalalim na dagat
Ay may magagandang dalampasigan ang nag-aabang sa akin

Kahit na mag-isa ako sa dilim
Ay may milyon-milyong bituin ang gumagabay sa akin

At ngayon, kahit wala ka na
Pinipili ko pa ring tandaan ang iyong huling mga salita

“Piliin mong magmahal
Kahit na paghihintayin, paaasahin, at sasaktan ka nito
Dahil darating rin ang araw
Na mamahalin ka rin ng taong pinili mo”

Literary: All In




I bet all my chips
Against overwhelming odds
For impossible stakes

In an unfair game

Had stacked decks fixed behind me
When my hand always won
Had loaded dice thrown against me
When my rolls equaled none

"Wouldn't it be better,"
You ask
"If you'd just accept your losses,
Move on with your gains,
Stand up from this table
And finally call it a day?"

I grin.

"Wouldn't it be better?" you ask again.

And to that I'll always say
"Not a chance."

Literary: To a Love Like What We Had




To take a risk
Is to allow oneself
To lose something valuable
In order to keep another

And I would like you to know
That I am willing to give
As much as I am willing to take
To keep you with me

For this love is made of choices
That intertwined our souls
And we are built by the chances
That we took for us to be one

As long as there are choices
That I am to make
As long as there are risks
That I am to take

This heart of mine
Which I vow to be yours
Will stay strong

‘Til all boundaries
Are no longer a hindrance
To a love like what we have

Literary: The Perfect Guy




Tom and I met in high school. We even dated for a while. We only broke up because he moved to a different country to study and we lost contact. Tom was the perfect guy. He had a booming business and was very good looking. To add to that, he had already traveled the world. He was a gentleman, and he made sure everything was perfect, just like he was.

On the night before he left for Rome, Tom asked me out to dinner. With him, dinner dates weren’t your average “eat then watch a movie afterwards”. He made reservations at a five-star restaurant with a dress code and a fountain in front of the entrance. Once the candles were lit and dinner was served, we started talking.

“Amy, have you ever been to Rome?” he asked me as he was cutting his steak.

“No, but I’d love to see the ruins there someday.”

“How badly do you want to see them?”

“So bad. It’s my childhood dream.” It was. I dreamed of being able to explore the site and just stand where history happened.

“Come with me, then,” he offered. At first I wasn’t sure if he was serious, but this is Tom. He’s always serious when it comes to these things.

“T-tomorrow?”

“Yes. Imagine that, conquering the city together. Just you and me.” He smiled at me with the smile he always used to persuade me with. It was about to work until…

“Tom, I don’t think I can come with you. I’d love to go to Rome but I don’t think I should go with you.”

As soon as he heard my words, he asked for the bill and paid. He nodded once, got his credit card, and left without a word.

A lot of people may be thinking why I just rejected a trip to the most beautiful city with the perfect guy. The truth is, Tom just wants someone on his arm for publicity, so people won’t think he’s the single CEO that’s too busy with work for a relationship.

I know him.

Besides, I don’t like perfect that much. I think it’s too perfect.
-----------------------------------------

Caleb is my neighbor. He’s a struggling musician. He’d make noise until early in the morning and he had a crooked smile. He was a mess but he didn’t mind. He had his own little world.

Once you get past Caleb’s outer shell, he’s the kindest, most caring person in the world. With him, I feel like I can be myself. I don’t need to dress pretty just in case paparazzi get too close, and I’m really more into music than business.

The same night Tom and I had dinner, Caleb waited for me at my front door and had a guitar in his hands.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm going to sing you a song, Amy." Answered Caleb with that same crooked smile. I chuckled and looked at my toes to hide the redness in my cheeks. He took that as a go signal and started strumming Jack Johnson's Banana Pancakes. He knew it was my favourite song because I'd always hum it on my way out.

Well can't you see that I'm just waiting.
Ain't no need to go inside...yet

But, baby, you hardly even notice
When I try to show you this
Song is meant to keep you
From doing what you're supposed to.
Walking through the front door
Maybe we can go out
Popcorn and a movie
Pretend we're a thing now

And we could pretend it all the time
Can't you hear me out just once?
There ain't no need to go inside.

He continued strumming as he stuttered with trying to get the right words out. "A-amy, if it's not obvious I'd really really want to take you out on a date. I know that I'm not the most likeable person at first impression but I think that you're really beautiful and I really like you."

As Caleb ended on a G chord, he grinned at me and asked "so, what do you say?"

I take a few steps closer to him. No one has ever asked me out that way and the fact that it came from Caleb gave me butterflies in my stomach. "I say yes."

When he hears my response, I can see the victory in his eyes. "Great! Tomorrow night?"

"Sure. 7PM."

"I'll see you then!!" With that, he walks to the opposite side of the building, a fist in the air as a sign of triumph. What a cutie.

I choose Caleb. He’s not perfect, not at all, but I love him anyway.

Literary: Look What You Made Me Do




I didn’t know what to do
When I accidentally stumbled upon you
You looked comely and managed to lose weight
Compared to back when we had our last date

I see that you moved to a nearby school
And shifted to the course your parents wanted you to pursue
You said that you were a wallflower with a great sense of intuition
But you altered your personality into an ESTJ delusion
You said that you’d never give any chances to today’s modern music
But the anthem in your profile was a song of Khalid
Yet the most surprising thing that I thought was one of your aversions
Is that you’re here when you said you didn’t even like
The idea of online dating applications

But I guess you’ve totally changed
Because not a thing of your past self, you kept
I don’t know who you are anymore
That’s why I chose to swipe left

Literary: Bente Pesos




Tumawag ka sa akin,
Gusto mo na akong harapin.
Matapos ang ilang araw na walang usapan
Sa wakas, naisipan mo akong tawagan.

Pinapunta mo ako sa ating tagpuan
Para mapag-usapan
Kung ano na’ng kinahinatnan
Ng relasyon nating magkasintahan.

Nagdalawang-isip ako
Kung ako pa ba’y makikipagtagpo.
Binuksan ko ang aking pitaka
At sinilip kung ako'y may pera pa.

Tanging bente pesos ang bumungad sa akin
Kulang pa itong pamasahe para ika'y tagpuin.
Senyales na siguro ito
Na huwag na muna tayong magtagpo.

Sa tayaan ng lotto
Na lang ako tutungo.
Doon ko na lang gagastusin
Ang bente pesos na ibinigay ni nanay sa’kin.

Baka sakaling ako'y manalo
Ng malaking papremyo.
Para makapunta na sa iyo
Mahal ko.
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