Showing posts with label Eclipse. Show all posts

Literary: Letters to the Moon




Crescens

To my moon,

I thank all the entities above to have found you. You who contain the entire sky in your eyes, whose orbs that shine as brightly as every particle of stardust take me on an adventure beyond each planet and star. I orbit and get lost in your eyes that burn with passion whenever you tell me about those distant worlds you aim to set foot on.

Blue moons aren’t rare with you, not with the hundreds that we’ve seen together. We’ve seen each phase wax and wane, but with each crescent, gibbous, and quarter, I am slowly filled by your light. And the world begins to become even more colorful and brighter now that I proclaim this to the vast sea of stars, and the heavens up above.

As time goes on while we watch the empyrean sky under the cold blanket of the night, our memories in each season burn bright in my heart. So, as I write this letter under the waxing crescent that reminds me of your smile, I start to realize that the moon really is breathtaking, even more than the galaxy it belongs to. And I fall more in love with it with each passing night.

Plenilunium

To my moon,

There has always been this unexplainable feeling of warmth whenever I look at that mirror ball in the valleys of the night sky. The slight chill from the crisp air disappears when I feel your hand in mine—accompanying me as I converse with the Earth’s one and only satellite each night. On nights covered by the clouds or eclipsed by the sun, you’ve always assured me that the moon is there waiting—and I hope you will too, my moon.

You shine brighter than the full moon, and I bask in the light that has made its way into my heart. Like evening primroses whose flowers blossom in the night, I bloom inexplicably with you by my side.

The moon is full and whole tonight like the love that I have had for you throughout all these years. This full moon signals the start of a new chapter in our lives, of new experiences and adventures. It guides our paths, from star to constellation, towards a new galaxy that we have yet to discover together.

The night is long and dark yet all I see is you illuminating everything around you. They say the stars hold the answers to the mysteries to the universe, yet somehow, I learn that the answer is in holding you close. You like pointing to the stars in the sky, tracing each burst of light, reaching out to share the shimmer of constellations. But to tell you the truth, more than the twinkling starlight, I love the glow of the soft moonlight.

Decrescens

To the moon,

I think it’s rare that we find someone with eyes as bright as stars; eyes that shine with adventurousness that take me beyond the stars and the galaxy. The same eyes that have a burning passion for distant worlds; the ones I always seemed to get lost within its great black sea.

You used to shine the brightest when no one else was around, but now your eyes are full of obscurity lost within itself.

We used to watch a galaxy full of stars ever so slightly burning under its cold blanket. As time went on, we shifted our views to a valley of dying stars and a never ending sea of darkness. One by one, they slowly lose their brightness—like the memories left behind by the wake of our time together; they had slowly lost their meaning to burn bright within our hearts.

It’s unfortunate how things have turned out. The stars we once looked up to have now crumbled to our feet. How the colorful world we once knew was slowly washed away by a great wave of darkness. The love we shared had died out like a fire drowning in an ocean of unfortunate endings—dying out like the waning crescent.

Novilunium

To the moon,

A new moon is in bloom— and it’s been a while since I’ve caught sight of its ever-changing glimmer. I’ve spent each day avoiding the subtle light it gives in hopes of getting rid of every trace you left on it. The sky looks empty as the chilly breeze of the night sky embraced me. With it I let go of how warm your hand feels as it grazes mine, how you twirled me to a new galaxy that's somewhere only we knew, and how you left me there alone as soon as I started playing with the stars. With it I let go of everything I knew and move on, because I am sure you have, moon.

After the eclipse of the moon of our dying love, the moon shone once again and brought new light into my heart. A new moon bound for change within our minds to find new meaning as we trace back our paths, from star to constellation, towards better versions of ourselves.

So maybe as I jot down my thoughts under the new moon that subtly whispers the end of a chapter in our lives, you keep our memories, experiences, and adventures close to your heart and learn diligently from them.

The night only seems to be getting longer, as I get deeper into our memories. What was once a beautiful galaxy now all that’s left is the glow of the soft moonlight and these love letters. And I realize now that maybe I do prefer the twinkling starlight.

Literary: Asahi Cafe





Everywhere she looks is bleak and unwelcoming, very much in contrast to the bright digital billboards around her flashing the words “Welcome Home!”

Violet clutches her luggage tighter as she sits down in a chair in the airport’s waiting area, deciding that she’d grab a few moments of rest before her flight is called. As she observes the surge of people rushing around her, it feels as if she is stuck in time—static in the middle of the current of blurred faces moving on with their lives.

As she tears her gaze from the influx of travelers, her eyes land on a small red envelope placed right next to her. On the back, the words “Asahi Café” are printed in a clean script with a little drawing of a sunrise beside them.

Violet probably shouldn’t pick it up as it could’ve been someone else’s. But something in her gut tells her that she has to open it and read its contents. She’ll just return the envelope if there is something important written inside. It’s not like she’s going to lose anything—she’s leaving home and leaving everything behind anyway.

Dear whomever:

By the time you read this, I’ll probably be away on a plane travelling somewhere far from where I last left this letter. You’re lucky for actually opening this red envelope; most people would just leave it be or throw it away. As a gift, let me tell you my story.

I used to own this quaint little café called Asahi Café right in the middle of town. Asahi means “morning” or “sunlight” in Japanese, so I decorated my café as such. It was warm and welcoming, the orange and yellow tones made everyone who came to the café feel as if the sun was hugging them from the inside.

The drinks, too, revolved around that theme. Many of our customers enjoyed our drinks because they said that they were special. When I asked about this, they told me that drinking our Sunlight lattes was the feeling of serenity in seeing the sun rise every morning, the quiet moments of peace before the entire world woke up. Our Midnight coffees were the many sleepless nights of feeling the cool breeze tickle their skin as they stared at the shining stars above.

Our special, though, was the Sunset juice. It was an all-time favorite of our customers. In all honesty, in spite of being the owner, I never understood the hype about it. They said that despite the drink being iced, it warmed them inside in a way that would remind them of being wrapped in a hug—homey, cozy, and snug. For some, drinking Sunset juice was like walking home and seeing the sky—pinks, purples, oranges, and reds, all blended together in the vast expanse above. It was the fulfilment that made their hearts burst and made them think that they were so lucky to be alive right at those moments.

Many have told me that my café had a “magical air” around it. I didn’t really get it. But I’m glad that I gave people a sanctuary from the unrelenting and cruel world.

I served many customers in Asahi—from young, loud, obnoxious children who greatly enjoyed our sweet pastries and hung out at the café while their moms chitchatted at another table enjoying their lattes, to quiet, stressed-out, yet hopeful teenagers who would type away on their laptops all day, trying to catch up on their schoolwork.

I’ve learned their stories—of heartbreak and love, of feeling lost and being found, of being alone yet having enough company, and of being a part of a crowd yet feeling too lonesome. I’m glad that Asahi worked its magic somehow, and made this quaint little café a place for them to call home. How do I know this? Well, I saw the prominent change in my customers once they entered the store. Sometimes it was the small bounce in their steps as they walked to the cashier, or the way their eyes sparkled when they ordered a drink. Most times it was the way their smiles widened as they conversed with their friends while hanging out at the café, or just the way that they looked: like they weren’t carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders—like they could finally breathe and be at home.

The thing is, though, while Asahi was home to these people, it was never that to me. I suppose it’s because "home" is used so broadly in a sense that most of the time, we forget what it really means. People confuse it with this tangible four-walled place that they sleep in and call a house—or in this case, Asahi Café.

Maybe seeing my customers treat Asahi as their home was what made me realize that home isn’t really a place, or a drink, or a spot in the café. It’s not a place that’s open from Mondays to Sundays 6am to 12am, nor is it a space that one can simply leave and come back to whenever they feel like it. I guess that was my mistake; I saw Asahi simply as Asahi Café and not Asahi Café—a home for those who needed it.

I now realize that home is a feeling. It’s the feeling of warmth that spreads throughout the tired office worker’s body whenever they get to relax in the café’s quiet corners after a rigorous shift. It’s the nervousness and excitement rushing through the veins of those two teenagers on their first date, whispering in hushed tones and looking at each other with stars in their eyes. It’s the feeling of security that blankets the sleeping child as his mother sips her third coffee of the day. It’s the blazing heat from that group of friends whose boisterous laughter and chatter fill the café with a sense of unity and friendship.

Anyway, I’m glad Asahi was a home for them. It just wasn’t that for me. That’s why I left: I needed to find my home too. To feel the warmth that my customers felt while sipping our house special. To feel the magic of home. And maybe then, I’ll return to taste our drinks, so I’ll finally find out what all the hype was about. Or I’ll open up a branch some five thousand miles from here. Wherever it may be, I’m sure I’ll eventually find home.

But for now, here I am, writing a letter and hoping that you also find your way home, because I know that you’re lost too. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have picked up this envelope in a busy airport. I hope you find it—your Asahi café. But if not, try finding a branch! Maybe it’ll show you home. Safe travels!

From

Asahi Café’s past owner

Ps. Don’t worry about the café! I left it to my best friend. I know that it’s home to her too.


Violet carefully folds the letter and slides it back into its faded red envelope. It’s been almost three years since she picked it up at the airport some five thousand miles from where she’s currently standing. She grips her bag tightly as she looks at the sign on the window. Violet recounts all the years of finding and all the research that she did. She didn’t find much except that it was a quaint little café in her old town.

Up till now, Violet was convinced that Asahi Café didn’t actually exist. After all, she lived in that town for at least eighteen years. Surely, she would’ve seen or heard of the café. Perhaps it was a magical place meant only for people who could feel home. But then, the letter said that the owner themself couldn’t feel home. It baffled—and still baffles—her, so she decided to push it to the back of her mind and just focus on travelling to look for home. Through those three years of leaving what she was once familiar with, the letter was a constant reminder for her: it said that she was lost. And maybe she was. At first, Violet wasn’t all too sure of what she had to search for. But thanks to the letter, she realized that she too was looking for home. And if the café was a magical place meant for those who felt home, then, it would show up eventually. She just needed to find her home first.

Now, she’s here, after three years of searching. After countless early morning dawns to feel the serenity of seeing the sun rise, many sleepless nights of feeling the cool midnight breeze tickle her skin as she stared at the shining stars above, and the numerous days of walking home and seeing the sky--pinks, purples, oranges, and reds, all blended together in the vast expanse above—she’s finally face to face with the place that served as a home for so many people.

Asahi Café. Open Mondays to Sundays 6am to 12am.

She takes a deep breath and steps inside.

Instantly, warm air greets her. The café has orange and yellow tones that make Violet feel as if the sun is hugging her from the inside. Her small, cautious steps towards the counter have a little bounce as Violet recalls her journey.

Throughout those years, she felt the warmth that spread throughout her tired body as she hugged her dog after a rigorous shift. She felt the nervousness and excitement rushing through her veins as she sat across her date, whispering in hushed tones, both of them with stars in their eyes. She felt the blanket of security as she wrapped her jacket tighter while she walked around campus on particularly cold nights. She felt the blazing heat from her group of friends whose boisterous laughter and chatter filled every corner of her dorm with a sense of unity and friendship.

Everywhere she looks is bright and welcoming, very much in contrast to the bleak surroundings before.

As she reaches the counter, she holds the envelope a bit tighter. Her eyes glisten with unshed tears as she decides what to order.

That’s when it hits her—the reason why she didn’t know that there was an Asahi Café in her hometown was because she didn’t feel home yet. Asahi Café isn’t magical. It’s a normal café that she once passed by countless times, but failed to see because she was too lost. But for those who have felt home, it has always been there as one of those places that sheltered them from the harsh world and brought the feeling of home a thousandfold. That was the reason why the owner also didn’t see and understand Asahi’s magic. Because they saw it simply as a café when in reality, Asahi is a medium to remind people of the feeling of home.

And now that Violet has experienced what it’s like to feel home through her three years of travelling, she’s finally found it. Asahi Café.

Violet asks the person behind the counter if she can see the owner, but he just shakes his head and tells her that the previous owner had left. Violet asks the boy for an envelope instead and after a few minutes, the boy hands Violet a red one with the words “Asahi Café” printed in a clean script on the back, and her ordered drink—Sunset juice.

Walking to a nearby table, Violet grabs a piece of paper and a pen from her bag and starts writing.

Dear Owner,

By the time you read this, I’ll be another few thousand miles from where I left this letter. I’d like to thank you for showing me what home is.

It’s the feeling of being alive—that is what home feels like.

I’m glad to have been guided by your letter in truly finding home. But for now, here I am, writing a letter and hoping that you also find your way home, because I know that you’re lost too. I hope you find it—your Asahi Café. I hope you’ll eventually return to feel the magic of home, to taste your drinks, so you’ll finally find out what all the hype was about. Because they’re right—your customers. They are magical. I found home, so I hope you find it too. Safe travels!

From

Violet.



Literary: Crescent Sun



    
Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there were two lovers—Elio and Selene. To simply describe Elio, he was bright—blinding even. One could easily spot him in a crowd from his golden locks and tanned skin. His glowing smile and dazzling eyes lit up every room he walked into. Not only this, Elio was also very sharp. His quick wit and intuition always played to his advantage whenever he would encounter little snags every day. Because of this, Elio was well-loved by all. The children and the elderly alike would always offer kind smiles, items, and quick stories whenever Elio passed by.

    Exactly the opposite of Elio was Selene. She was quiet and always put on a serious face. Her long dark hair and clipped remarks would always scare away the children. Despite her cold aura, no one could deny that she was beautiful. Her pale skin made elders tell stories of how she was born at the stroke of midnight when the stars shone the brightest, but the night was at its coldest; and her piercing eyes made her seem like a flower on a cliff—beautiful but utterly untouchable.

    Selene loved painting. She would usually paint from when the sky started to brighten until the stars came out and the entire world was shrouded in darkness. Selene loved to paint by her window as this gave her a picturesque view of the town and the landscape beyond. It was also a great place for her to hear the muted chatter of the villagers and the harmonious songs of the birds; it made her feel less alone, for she hated the silence. She felt loneliness creep in whenever the villagers avoided her like the plague when they saw her painting by her window. Selene hoped for a spark of light that would accompany her and brighten up her dark surroundings. She wished upon the infinite fields of constellations above her, for hope is the bringer of light. 

    Elio loved baking. He worked at the bakery near Selene’s house. After he delivered the bread fresh from his oven to every house in the village and gave the burnt ones to the stray dogs and cats, he would make a fresh new batch and give it to the person by the window. The girl, who would always be painting, would gladly accept and munch on the still-hot bread, eating silently as Elio told stories of his early morning encounters with the villagers. 

    As days passed, Elio’s warmth slowly crept past Selene’s walls. Elio would grin brightly whenever Selene chuckled at his ridiculous jokes and never-ending stories. 

    Elio would say, “Your eyes are like crescents,” whenever Selene’s eyes disappeared as she laughed loudly at his attempts to impress her with different types of bread and flowers every morning. 

    Elio never failed to show up. The pair would usually stay together until late at night, just painting, talking about the mundane things happening in their lives, and anything else they could possibly think of. Eventually, Elio managed to coax Selene away from her window; they started to take walks together. Elio filled Selene’s once-quiet life with boisterous laughter and absurd tales. Every night, Selene hoped for the spark of light to forever accompany her and fill her quiet surroundings with dulcet tones. She wished upon the infinite fields of constellations above her, for hope is the bringer of euphonious music. 

    Much to the surprise of everyone—even Selene’s—she started to join Elio on his early morning deliveries. Selene would shyly smile at the villagers as Elio caught up on what was happening in town. Who would have thought that the cold moonflower—as she was usually called—and the town’s sunshine boy would be seen walking around together and enjoying each other’s company? That the golden light could still shine brightly beside the mysterious darkness?

    After their early morning walks, the pair would go to the hills—as per Elio’s request—to give Selene space to paint. Elio liked to lie down on the limitless fields as Selene painted whatever captured her interest. Sometimes, Elio managed to pull Selene out of her trance by putting flowers in her hair and chasing around rabbits and squirrels. Afternoons would be filled with carefree laughter and the smell of flowers; paintbrushes and canvas were tossed aside in favor of soft hands and wide green hills. 

    As the world darkened and everything quieted down, Elio gazed at Selene, her crescent eyes bright in all the soft ways there were as she painted under the illumination of the fireflies’ lights. With every dip of her brush into the night sky, she borrowed the glimmer of stardust. With every brushstroke, sparkles of light found themselves a new home in the vast expanse of her canvas. 

    Once the painted stars lit up the world in the canvas instead of the sky above them, the pair would begin to head home. Every night, Selene hoped for the spark of light to forever accompany her and fill her cold surroundings with warmth. She wished upon the infinite fields of constellations above her, for hope is the bringer of comfort. As the pair walked back to the village, both silently wished that the next day would bring as much beauty as the last. 

    One day, Selene woke up to absolute silence. 

    The moment Selene opened her eyes, she noticed that the world seemed a shade darker than yesterday. The world seemed dead. The smell of freshly baked bread was also missing. She noticed a gloom took over the entire town. Ignoring this, she patiently sat by her window to wait for her sunshine boy to fetch her. She waited. 

    And waited. 

    And waited. 

    By the time the sky darkened, she decided that maybe Elio was sick and unable to stand from his bed. Realizing that Elio probably had no one to accompany him, Selene immediately rushed to the bakery next door with medicine and some food to give to the missing sunshine boy. 

    But the bakery was void of any light. There, Elio lay, pale as paper, coughing up blood. Selene sat by his side trying to give him medicine. She laughed softly as she recalled their memories of the past few months. She remembered how Elio bothered her every day and refused to leave even if she glared at him. She remembered how Elio made flower crowns for them to wear at the hill. She remembered Elio’s wide eyes, bright in all the soft ways there were, as he gazed at the night sky under the illumination of the fireflies’ lights.

    “Your eyes are like crescents,” Elio managed to say weakly.

    Selene shook her head. Her eyes disappeared as she attempted to not shed any tears. She feared breaking Elio whom she held delicately. Elio tried to show off his once-blinding smile to reassure Selene that he was truly okay, but his eyes only grew dimmer and dimmer. At the stroke of midnight, when the stars shone the brightest, but the night was at its coldest, the sunshine boy lost his shine.

    The next day, the world seemed a shade darker than yesterday. Everyone wore black. Selene felt loneliness creep in. The villagers started to avoid her again. The town was in an eternal gloom. 

    Her eyes traced the glowing path of stars above her, hoping that at the end of the trail she would see the eyes that held the galaxies inside them. Selene hoped for her spark of light to come back to her side. She wished upon the infinite fields of constellations above her, for hope makes one check every day for the answer longed for, only to confirm that it is not there.

    Selene had loved painting. She had usually painted from when the sky brightened until the stars came out and the entire world was shrouded in darkness. Selene had loved to paint at their hill as this gave her a picturesque view of the night sky above.

    She wished for Elio to come back; she swore she would do anything just to have him by her side again—even if it meant she would stop painting. Selene looked at the paintbrushes and canvas tossed aside. Maybe that was how the universe worked. Wishes don’t come true without sacrificing something in return. 

    The entire town was bathed in gold the very next day. A bright ball lit up the world. The warmth was back, and everything seemed better. Perhaps, all of Selene’s wishes for the spark of light to come back came true. Perhaps, all the wishes upon the infinite fields of constellations were granted, for hope is the bringer of granted wishes. 

    As the town enjoyed the sun that they would see every morning, they failed to notice the disappearance of the painter. 

    Soon, they learned that as the sky would darken, there shone the bright crescents that Elio loved so much. There, beside the meteor showers and exceptional comets, was the moon. 

    Some said that Elio became the sun, shining every morning to tell everyone to cherish the day and the next, or to try again, to fight for another day, always bringing warmth and comfort even through the coldest of seasons. 

    No one knew where Selene went. But some guessed that if Elio was the sun, then she was the moon, forever walking amongst the stars, looking for a path to meet Elio again someday.

    And maybe the universe was unfair that way, taking away Selene’s loves. 

   But it was during particularly bright days when the people were reminded of the pair who went around town delivering bread and running around the hills smelling of flowers. It was also during those cloudless nights when the crescent moon gleamed as beautiful as ever, and the fireflies were out illuminating the universe of stars above.

Literary: in articulo mortis




        
No!—I am not dead. Sick, perhaps—someone did mention that, but dead, oh I am far from it. True, I am sick—sick of the ringing silence engulfing my entire being in my pristine white room as the man in white with pity dripping down his glass-like eyes leaves. White—the color is sickening. White is for the dead and I am not dead, no, I am not dead—just sick. I am sick of seeing white everywhere I look. The walls, the ceiling, the floor, the bed, the clothes, the food, the mirror, the clock—so white. I am sick of it.

        The white clock on the white wall reads 12:01 AM.

        As the man in white closes the doors, darkness spills inside, wrapping me in unbearable stillness—as if the world has finally stopped moving. As if the night has finally inundated every corner of the universe. Finally—another color aside from the glaring white. A hint of a smile creeps up my dry mouth as the first tickles of laughter erupt through my entire body.

        I have always wanted to become a painter—an artist even better than Van Gogh or Monet. I know that I can transform these plain white walls into something more beautiful than The Starry Night. The paint that I will use will be even more magnificent than the highest quality paint from the best shop in the entire universe. This will show those men in white how sick I am of the color. White—I can feel my blood boil just thinking about it.

        And so, the very next day, I ask for paint.

        My cheeks hurt from smiling the entire day as I buzz from excitement. It is now—today is finally the day I show them that I am not sick. Sick people do not go around painting—for the smell of paint can cause sickness and dizziness and should not be around sick people. But there they are—the unopened cans of paint sitting just by the foot of my bed, glistening beautifully amidst the sickening plainness of the white room.

        There is a paint can opener and some brushes on top of the cans, which I toss aside easily because they say the best artists use themselves as the medium for conveying the art. My wide smile and laughter never falter even as sharp pain shoots up both my arms when I attempt to open the cans using my fingers and accidentally wound myself from the sharp metal. It does not matter though—the cans are open, and it is time to start on my masterpiece—my magnum opus—my chef-d’oeuvre. Red, of course! Red is anything but sickening, red is intense. People associate red with energy, life. Yes, red is the color to show everyone that I am anything but dead. Red is perfect—red, is not white.

        As I admire the swirling red liquid inside the cans, I notice tears dripping down the sides of my face. No, tears are ugly and are for sick people. Tears are not meant for great artists such as I. And so, I dip my bloody fingers inside the can and paint my tears red. I look at the mirror and see an image of an artist with red tears streaming down their cheeks and smile. Perfect—this is perfect. I paint the mirror red too; so that it will no longer reflect the ugly white color. Sounds of my delighted laughter bounce around the room—like a kid’s at the park—as I continue painting my room red. Painting gives me so much joy—painting makes me feel alive.

        I run around the room, painting all of its four walls. I even dip my blankets, bedsheets, pillows, and clothes in red paint so that they will match the red color of the walls. I use my newly painted bed to reach the ceiling to give more life to its once-purely white look. I carefully paint the lights too, to cast a reddish hue to the room—to make it feel more alive and perhaps like a club where healthy people go and mingle—instead of the pristine white usually reserved for hospitals where sickness lingers in every corner. I dance around the room, absolutely delighted with my ongoing work. I twirl and laugh as I splatter paint on every white surface that I lay my eyes on.

        All that is left to paint is the floor. The cans are almost empty and there is a smell of rusted iron lingering in the air. I am tired, my chest hurts a bit but that is probably from all the painting that I have done today, I feel as if my energy has been slowly dwindling as the contents of each paint can become less and less. Glancing at what remains in the can, with my artistic sense and slight estimation, I figure out that I have just enough energy and paint to write down my signature. Of course, an artist’s pièce de resistance is his signature—how else will the audience know who created the artwork?

        After signing, I lie down beside the empty cans of paint sprawled on the floor. A content sigh escapes my lips as I smile at the red ceiling above. I really did well. Not a single speck of white can be seen on the ceiling or walls. Letting exhaustion overtake me, I close my eyes and smile one last time as I feel a drop of paint fall on my cheeks.

        I still have not opened my eyes from the moment I woke up. I am practically overflowing with excitement and anticipation to see my finished artwork since I was far too exhausted yesterday to fully soak in my masterpiece. After a few more minutes of imagining what my room looks like, I finally open my eyes and look at the ceiling above me.

        Chills go down my entire being. My hands start to shake uncontrollably as I take in the state of my ceiling, walls, bed, clothes, clock, and mirror.

        No—I must be dead, yes!

        But why—

        Why is everything

        pristinely,

        glaringly,

        white

Literary: A Love Poem from a Loveless Person




Love, they say, is something everyone experiences and feels
At least once in their life
With a significant other.

Why is it then that I don’t feel a romantic pull?
I fear that I am broken
For whenever someone says that they are in love,
I simply cannot fathom what it would be like.

Because they say that when you are in love,
Everything is bright and colorful
As if one can see all the colors in splendor.
But for me, it is always dark and monotonous
Engulfed by the shadows of nothingness.

Love is seeing the entire galaxy in one person’s eyes
Resplendent with happiness and mirth,
Feeling euphoria and exhilaration whenever eyes meet
Sparks flying and warmth blossoming when skin touches skin.

Why is it that I see nothing but black holes in a person’s eyes?
Two indiscernible circles making me feel dispirited and uneasy.
Awkwardness and the feeling of wanting to disappear whenever eyes meet
Scalding yet frigid at the same time when skin touches skin even just a little bit

People’s love stories are always so interesting
Stories of admiration and contentment always coming out of their lips
Always full of smiles and overflowing with passion.
They often tell me that they feel whole with their partner,
That their partner holds on to the other half of their heart.

Then maybe the reason why I feel this way is because I am afraid.
Afraid that my story will be tragic and lamentable
Drowning in tears and swallowed up by darkness.
All I feel is empty.
And all I am is broken.

For I cannot feel love.