Showing posts with label MCRiseandFall. Show all posts

Literary (Submission): Kakayanin






Marso 19, 2019

Para sa umaasa,

             Kumusta ka? Masaya ka ba ngayon? Lalo na ngayong ilang buwan na ang nakalipas mula nang kumuha ang batch mo ng exam sa isa sa pinakamalalaking pamantasan sa Pilipinas. Siguro’y hindi pa, dahil hindi pa inilalabas ang resulta ng exam.

             Naaalala mo ba kung gaano katagal ang oras na ginugugol mo sa review center para lamang maalala muli ang lahat ng pinag-aralan mo mula Grado 7?

             Naaalala mo ba kung gaano ka naging ka-chill nang matapos ito? Pero pagbalik naman ng pasukan, tuloy pa rin sa pagrerebyu. Gumagawa ka pa nga ng reviewer sa mga index card para lang mayroon kang madaling dalhin na reviewer kahit saan ka magpunta. Nagpaskil ka pa nga sa kuwarto mo ng mga listahan ng mga formula na kailangang kabisaduhin. Sabi mo, para sa tuwing titingin ka sa iyong dingding, maisasaisip mo na agad ang lahat ng ito.

             Naaalala mo rin ba kung ano ang mga isinakripisyo mo para lamang makapag-concentrate sa pagrebyu? Binawasan mo muna ang pagso-social media pati na ang panonood ng mga series at K-drama. Pero hindi mo naman tinigilan nang buong-buo dahil baka mabaliw ka naman sa kakaaral.

             Naaalala mo rin ba kung ilang beses ka nang umiyak? Dala ng kakaisip sa mga bagay na hindi pa naman nangyayari. Minsan, hindi mo alam, pero bigla mo na lang napagdududahan ang sarili mo. Minsan, nangangamba ka kasi hindi mo alam kung maipapasa mo ba at kung hindi (huwag naman sana) ay kakayanin mo ba. Lalo pa kung sasagi sa iyong isipan ang mga taong nampe-pressure. Dagdag pang alalahanin ‘yung mga taong umaasa, sumusuporta, at naniniwala sa iyo at ayaw mong biguin sila.

             Paano pa kung lumabas na ang resulta? Iiyak ka rin kaya? Sa tuwa o sa dismaya? Sa tuwa dahil lahat ng pinagsikapan mo nang ilang buwan ay nagbunga ng maganda? O sa dismaya dahil ginawa mo naman ang lahat ngunit saan ka nagkulang?

             Iiyak mo lang ang lahat paglabas ng resulta. Basta’t palagi mong tatandaan na hindi lang iyan ang natatanging unibersidad na maaari mong pasukan. Marami rin namang ibang paraan upang makapasok sa pamantasang ito. At napakarami ring paaralan sa Pilipinas at maging sa ibang bansa na bukas ang bisig na tatanggap sa ‘yo.

             Palagi mong tatandaan na ang makikita mong resulta ay hindi hudyat na katapusan na ng mundo. Hindi ito ang magiging sukatan ng pagkatao mo. Ang tao ay higit pa sa mga numerong nakalagay sa papel, gaya ng sabi ng isang awtor na “mas marami pa s'yang alam kesa sa nakasulat sa Transcript of Records n'ya, mas marami pa s'yang kayang gawin kesa sa nakalista sa resume n'ya, at mas mataas ang halaga n'ya kesa sa presyong nakasulat sa payslip n'ya tuwing sweldo.”

             Kung nabigo ka man, alalahanin mo na ang mahalaga ay ginawa mo ang lahat ng makakaya mo, sinubukan mo at kinaya mo. Sabi nga ng isang pari sa misa, “You will not get everything you want but He will provide you everything you need.”

             Kaya’t huwag kang mawawalan ng pag-asa. Parte ito ng buhay. Ayon nga sa isang pilosopo, “Parang noong una ngunit, iba at higit pa”—masaktan ka man, tanggapin mo ito dahil dito mo matatagpuan ang panibagong pag-asa na hindi katulad ng dati. Maaari mong makita ang isang oportunidad na higit pa kaysa sa dati. Patuloy ka lang sa pag-asa—dumating man ang bagong pagkalugmok sa iyong buhay, alam kong kakayanin mo ito, tulad ng bolang tatalbog muli matapos ang pagbagsak, ng along nagmumula sa ibaba saka hahampas paitaas.


Maasahan mo,

Ang iyong kasama’t karamay mula pa man sa umpisa

Literary (Submission): Panandaliang Kasiyahan





Ang buhay ay sadyang napakaikli. Kaya sabi nila, gawin na natin ang lahat ng ating mga gusto. Bahala na kung sa dulo’y magsisi ka. Bahala na kung sa dulo’y di ka na masaya. Bahala na ang future me, siya na ang mag-alala. Basta sa ngayon, nagawa mo ‘yung gusto mo, di ba?

At upang lalo pa nating masulit ang kakaunting oras na ibinigay sa atin, narito ang ilang tried-and-tested life hacks, galing sa isang eksperto na inenjoy rin ang buhay niya:

1. Magrebyu sa gabi bago ang pagsusulit.
Napakasayang mag-cram. Napakasayang tumihaya na lamang at hintayin ang pinakahuling segundo bago mo simulang aralin at kabisahin ang mga konsepto. May tiwala ka naman sa utak mo para sa mga ganito. Kung bagsak, bagsak. Wala naman tayong magagawa roon.

2. Titigan si Crush habang may kasama siyang iba.
Siyempre, pasimple muna para hindi mahalata. Pero kapag hindi na siya nakatingin sa direksyon mo, ‘ayan, tadtarin mo na ng mga titig mo. Pagmasdan mo ang kaniyang makinis na mukha, mapupungay na mga mata at matamis na ngiti. Tiyak na mararamdaman mo ang sarili mong nahuhulog muli. Ngunit, tandaan, hanggang tingin ka lang.

3. Manood ng news upang maging in sa social media.
Naging uso na ngayon ang “pagiging mulat” at pagbabahagi ng mga opinyon kadalasan sa Twitter at sa Facebook. Simpleng panonood mo lang ng TV Patrol ay tiyak na makakakuha ka na ng sapat na impormasyon upang bumuo ng isang opinion tweet o post. Dagdag pa, huwag ka na ring sipagin pang magsaliksik ukol dito sapagkat likes, favorites, at views lang naman habol mo, hindi naman pagmulat sa ibang tao, hindi ba?

4. Magtapon ng basura… basta kung saan masisiksik.
Napakalayo naman ng basurahan. Magpapaalam ka pa sa guro sa harap, tatayo’t maglalakad para lang itapon ang isang maliit na wrapper. Kung isisiksik mo na lang muna sa mga sulok ng upuan mo, hindi naman siguro mapapansin. Hindi rin naman siguro ito makakapagpalala pa lalo sa taas ng baha sa Pilipinas tuwing bumabagyo, ‘no?

5. Umasa sa mga kaklase para sa notes at assignment.
Bakit ka pa maghihirap magsulat sa notebook mong malinis at walang laman kung nandiyan naman ang masipag mong kaklase upang gawin iyon para sa iyo? Tapos kapag may pinapagawa ang guro na takdang-aralin, tanungin mo na lang din siya. Bukod pa sa wala ka na ngang kailangang trabahuhin pa, mataas pa ang makukuha mong grado. Saan ka pa? Ipagdasal mo nga lang na tuwing may pagsusulit, nandiyan din siya kasi hindi mo kayang sagutan iyon nang mag-isa.

6. Huwag pakinggan ang mga payo ng magulang.
“We’re young, and wild, and free,” ‘ika nga sa isang kanta. Kung kaya’t bakit mo pa ba kailangang makinig sa mga magulang mo, e, sila nga ang pumipigil sa iyo na maging young and wild and free? Gawin mo na lang ang gusto mo. Ikaw naman ang nakakaalam kung ano ang nakabubuti sa iyo. Ano ba ang alam nila sa paborito nilang kasabihan na “Sa huli ang pagsisisi”?

7. Pumunta ng UPTC at gabi na umuwi sa bahay.
Ang lamig sa UPTC at nandoon pa ang paboritong mga kainan ng lahat. Binigyan ka pa ng ekstrang baon at saan mo pa ba gagamitin iyon? Magigising ka naman siguro nang maaga para sa una mong klase. Katwiran mo pa, kawawa naman ‘yung kaibigan mo, mag-isa lang gumala. Di bale na kung antukin ka sa Math at hindi mo na maintindihan lahat ng pinagsasasabi sa harap. Di bale na kung bumagsak sa susunod na eksam. Basta nasamahan mo ang kaibigan mong sumaya, okey na ang lahat.

8. Manood muna ng YouTube bago simulan ang mga kailangang gawin.
May bagong in-upload ang paborito mong channel. Saglit lang naman, mga 18 minuto. Pagkatapos nito, gagawin mo na ang mga takdang-aralin. Ngunit, inaantok ka na habang nanonood. May bukas pa naman para umpisahan ang reqs. Magpahinga na lang muna ngayon. Sabagay, baka hindi pa naman magpapaulan ng gagawin ang mga guro sapagkat malapit na ang perio, hindi ba?

9. Magkagusto sa isang kaibigan.
Tamang-tama, malapit lang siya sa iyo lagi. Kilalang-kilala mo na siya. Pati buhok niya sa braso, bilang na bilang mo na. Tama lang siguro na magkagusto ka sa kaniya. Kahit na sabihin niya sa iyo na hindi siya kailanman magkakagusto sa iyo at magkaibigan lang kayo, okey lang, ituloy mo pa rin. Magkasama naman kayo lagi kaya baka magkagusto rin siya sa iyo. Baka. Siguro. Ewan.

10. Umasa sa universe na ibibigay sa iyo ang lahat.
May mga kandila naman sa simbahan para sa mga hiling mo. May wishing well pa. May mga shooting star. May pilikmata pa naman ‘yung katabi mo. May mga talulot pa naman ang mga bulaklak sa hardin ninyo. Bakit mo pa kailangang maghirap para sa lahat ng gusto mo kung nandiyan naman ang universe upang tuparin ang lahat ng hiling mo? Hindi ka naman siguro nito parurusahan sa pagiging tamad, di ba?

Kung ginawa na ninyo ang lahat ng ito, palakpakan ninyo ang inyong mga sarili. Tiyak na sumaya kayo sa isang punto ng buhay ninyo, dahil ako, oo.

Huwag lang kayong aasa na tatagal iyang kaligayahang nararamdaman ninyo dulot ng mga ito, ha, kasi sigurado ako, mabibigo rin kayo.

Literary (Submission): Placebo




Hopeless, I am meant to die.

No one in this world can ever cure me. Every doctor that has touched my dying soul has given up. Even I have surrendered myself.

But just when everything seemed bleak and dire, a bottle of mysterious substance was presented to me.

“Believe and you shall find. Seek and you shall be given.“ The description said.

Without any hesitation, I drank. Consumed, ingested it until it was a part of me.

Immediately, I felt different, stronger and healthier. The sickness that once plagued me seemed to be gone. I’m cured.

The world looked more colorful. The air I breathed was wind from heaven. I can dance, skip and run around. No ailment can get to me now.

But when everything seemed to be perfect, I thought of my condition before and I stopped. I doubted the powers of this strange remedy.

And then and there, I fell. I coughed. I wheezed. I clutched my chest as if my life depended on it. It’s over, it’s gone. I’m going to die, as I am destined to.

“Believe and you shall find. Seek and you shall be given.”

As I remembered the words on the bottle, I instantly regained my power. I could do all sorts of things again. It looks like, as long as I believe, I am cured.

And now, I fully understand that I am meant to live.

Or am I really?

Literary (Submission): Binhi





Nagsimula sa isang maliit na binhing ibinaon sa lupa
Bawat araw dinidiligan
Sa tuwing umaga’y pinaaarawan
Hinding-hindi nauubusan ng kalinga

Sumunod ay may munting dahon na lumitaw
Malambot at matingkad ang taglay nitong kulay
Patuloy pa rin ang pagdidilig at pagbibilad sa araw
Upang munting binhi’y lumago’t maging halaman

Kinalaunan, ito’y lumaki
Yumabong ang mga dahon
Tumibay rin ang mga tangkay at sanga
Kasabay ang patuloy na pag-aaruga

Isang araw, hindi na ito isang munting binhi
Naging isang napakaganda na’t matayog na puno
Matangkad at lunting-lunti ang mga dahon
Ang mga sanga’y tinitirhan na ng mga ibon

Ngunit humagupit ang isang bagyo
Ang dating punong matikas na nakatayo
At mayayabong ang dahon,
Ngayo’y nakahiga na’t nakalbo

Nasilayan ang paglaki ng munting binhi
Na nakapagbigay-ngiti sa aking mga labi
Ito’y aking pinuspos ng pagmamahal
Nang higit pa sa aking sarili

Aking puso’y nadurog
Nang makita ang punong nahulog
Ang aking silungan sa tuwing napapagod
Sa lupa na’y nakayukod

Paalam, munting binhi

Literary: Pumapatak ang Luha





          Pangalawang Sabado na ito na kasama ko ang aking pamilya, papunta na naman sa kung saang destinasyon. Ngayon ko lang uli nakasalamuha ang mapayapang hangin ng umaga. Ngayon ko lang uli napanood ang pagtago ng mahinhin na buwan at ang pagbibigay-daan ng mga bituin sa pag-usbong ng liwanag ng araw.

          Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata, pinakinggan ko mula sa likod ng sasakyan ang bawat hiningang inilalabas at ang paglanghap ng hangin ng aking natutulog na kapatid at mga magulang. Sa aking pagmulat, sinundan ko ang bawat pagtaas at pagbaba ng kanilang mga dibdib.

          Ang aking pagngiti ay pilit. Naiinggit sa madaling paghinga ng mga tao sa aking paligid. Kailan ko kaya muli mararanasan ang maayos na pagdaloy ng hangin sa aking paghinga?

          Sinubukan kong sundan ang mapayapa’t madaling paghinga ng aking ama’t ina. Sa bawat paglabas ng hangin ay parang mas nanginginig ang aking katawan, ang aking mga kamay ay nanghihina.

          Parang alon. Maalat at mabagsik. Parang nalulunod ako sa gitna ng karagatan sa bawat hiningang pinipilit. Bumibigat lalo ang aking dibdib. Bakit ba iba ang nadarama sa tahimik at payapang umaga tulad nito? Bakit wala akong maramdaman?

          Natatandaan ko pa noon, parang hawak ko ang mundo, nakokontrol ko ang bawat galaw ko at ang takbo ng isip ko. Ngunit ngayon…

          Ngayong napagtanto ko na hindi ganoon ang buhay, parang tinanggalan ako ng baga. Bawat minuto’y nalulunod ako, bawat alon ay mas dinadaganan ang pakiramdam sa aking dibdib. Paunti-unting pinapatay ang kapayapaan na akala ko’y mayroon ako.

          Hindi ito ang huling beses na lalabas ang mga luha dahil wala akong maramdaman, alam ko iyon. Hindi ito ang huling beses na malulunod na naman ako at walang makaririnig ng aking pag-iyak (dahil siguro’y sinasadya ko na hindi ito marinig ng mga tao sa aking paligid). Pero alam ko rin na hindi ito ang huling beses na susubukan ko ang lahat upang bumangon uli. Hindi ko hahayaang ito ang maging huling beses dahil gusto kong maramdaman na ako’y nakangiti muli.

          Kaya’t ihahanda ko ang aking sarili sa paparating na naman na mga alon. Ihahanda ko ang aking sarili sa bawat patak ng luha.

Literary: For Them




The crowd screams. I hear my name, thrown in the midst of incoherent sounds and throat-ripping yells. Lights filled the stage as I lift my head up to face them, adrenaline already coursing through my veins. The beat starts.

               Back in the spotlight

               Everyone sees me

               Every single move, every single note

               I’m visible, the eyes are inescapable

               Just a single slip and everyone will be jeering

The melody moves the crowd along, making them sway to the beat of a song they’ve only ever heard in this arena. I can already see the posts fans will be tagging me in on social media, begging me to release a studio version of this song.

               All of them have your back

               Until they strip you bare, dig up your dirt

               But I can’t let them dig my own grave

The beat starts to intensify, filling me with it. My being becomes the music, my heart pounding, emotions pouring out of my mouth from the stress and despair the rumors and netizens’ negativity gave me. I let it all out.

               Not for something I’ve worked for

               Something I went mad for

               Pouring all my passion, skills and sweat

               Till I couldn’t stand when I take a rest

The crowd gets pumped by the rhythm I sang and the bars I spit. They understand me, they understand what I’m telling them, and they’re telling me they’re here for me. I feel the tears well up in my eyes as I remember that I’m doing this for them. The fans who helped me reach my dreams despite countless bumps and stumbles along the way. The ones who picked me up whenever I fell. This is for them.

               These people think they can take it all

                         away from me

               Well not for long ‘cause from this cliff

                         I’ll start my climb back up to the top

My lungs burned from the exhaustion. My body ached from the stockpiled effort because of months of practice that sometimes ended when I couldn’t move my body anymore. But I keep myself fired up. For them, and for me.

               It doesn’t matter who you are

               Or why you try to bring me down

               As long as there are people who wait for me

               As long as there are people who sing my songs

               I won’t ever stop belting out these lyrics from my heart

The crowd roars. I breathe heavily and try to hold my tears. I leave the stage. I hope my passion reached them.

Just a few days later, fans would be posting clips of the performance on social media. The lyrics would be shared, passed on from one account to another. Fans would determine the meaning, understand, and their cries and arguments to defend me will help people see me in a better light. I would cry, and write a song for them once more.


Literary: All Stars are Bound to be Forgotten





August 2005
Hello you,

This was a sunny month and normally, I would have given anything to be able to enjoy days like such outside.

But instead, I’m stuck in a four-walled room, with mirrors on all sides. I see myself clearly every day, a high-spirited teenage girl, hoping to be a woman soon. I see the gleam of excitement reflect from my eyes and I knew I was finally doing the right thing. The one thing I have been wanting since I could walk on my feet. The one thing I have given everything up for. The one thing I am willing to die for.

Of course, dreams don’t come to us on a silver platter because if they do, then I wouldn’t be here for the past weeks. We have to sweat for it and in my case, I have to stay up all night, go through vigorous training, damage and fix my voice at the same time for it.

I also have been constantly in pain. Aside from the cruel hours and lack of sleep, my body was asked to deny itself food for as long as it can so it could fit in the clothes they gave me. Shiny, skimpy clothes that I don’t usually wear. However, they said they looked good and I chose not to complain.

With all these challenges, everyone expected me to give up in a few days’ time. What they didn’t know was that I was only getting started. I was going to show them that this girl is not a quitter.

But I wish my dreams would come true, soon.

May 2006

Hello you,

More than a year has passed since I started and earlier this evening, I was finally the star of the night.

Everyone craned their necks to get a glimpse of me. Everyone fought the crowd to shake my hand. Everyone wanted to know who I was.

With the overwhelming mix of shouts, orders and camera clicks, I wasn’t able to hear myself think. It was noisy, but it was my cloud nine.

I guess my dreams are already coming true.

December 2007

Dear you,

It’s been a long time for I don’t even have the luxury to sit down and write.

To say it simply, it’s been a whirlwind.

In a span of a few months, people know who I am. Ask anyone, and I can bet they’d know me.
The attention never tired me out and I was actually ecstatic over the fact that I was noticed after all this time.

Along with everything that’s been happening however, I cannot deny that I miss my parents dearly. Every take-out food I eat, I craved my mom’s homemade dinner. Every storm that would hit, I pined for my dad’s warm embrace. It’s been long, too long since I last saw them.

But I had money as my guardian and fame as my friend.
What else could I ask for?
I had everything I ever wanted.

Finally, my dreams did come true.


April 2009

Dear you,

I became used to everything. The lights, the screams, the constant demand for my presence. The hands that were out to get a piece of me. The eyes watching my every move. The cameras catching everything on film.

I was always careful not to slip up. I decided a long time ago to bury my abnormal, unflattering self in this sparkling yet fake façade.

But apparently, it wasn’t enough.

My haven turned into a warzone overnight. And the biggest problem of them all was that I didn’t even do anything they accused me of.

I was planning to tell the truth, to come clean and maybe, the backlash wouldn’t sting so much. But they said I couldn’t. “To tell the truth is like digging your own grave.” They said.

But even when everything was settled and peace reigned once again, I could still hear my well-built image slowly cracking.

I wish these nightmares would end.

January 2011


Dear you,

I thought the worst was over, that I had weathered the storm. But sadly, it was not.

Soon enough, newcomers were lining up to take my place. Young, pretty things are threatening to replace the legacy I was planning to leave behind.

And worst of all? The people who used to stay by my side, in a blink of an eye, left. The ones who used to protect, now attack. The ones who used to comfort, now shame. And the ones who showed me my purpose, now give me the reason to end everything.

Can someone just wake me up from this nightmare?


May 2014

Dear… someone,

I now stare at the reflection in the mirror.
I don’t know who this woman is. With her curled-up hair, red-tinted lips and face void of any flaws.
And the glint of youth gone, despite her still early age.

She moves, breathes, and stares when I do. But I’m not her. I cannot be.
This woman sold her soul to the devil in exchange for a silly, old children’s dream.
She lived the life of a puppet and said nothing for her own sake.
She resorted to all kinds of vices to try and remember who she really was. To no avail.

All these, for what?
A few moments with her name up in lights. Soon replaced with something, or someone, younger, prettier.

Better.

She was expendable and she didn’t know it. The poison of fame has gotten to her faster than she could say “wake up.”

And this ambition of hers? The one she was so eager to die for, has now killed her.

I just wish her dreams didn’t come true at all.

Literary: The Elevators of Central Boulevard





Central Boulevard, the longest boulevard in the city. With its long stretch that is filled with variety, I would wonder what happens inside a lot in Central Boulevard.


1, Central Boulevard corner Rigby Avenue
Trench’s Summit Apartments
8:49 AM –11th floor; ASCENDING


The lift is humid. It is filled with brown moving boxes, waiting to be unpacked. Together with these boxes is a family of four. All they have on their faces are grins and sweat. It takes them almost a week to move all their things. Kids are pretty handful, what more if you add them into the equation of transporting big and fragile things to and fro. They wouldn’t have it any other way though. The relief is evident, outside this lift is their new home. After saving up for years and that long awaited raise, the wife and the husband finally provide well enough for their children. Nothing makes them happier than seeing their kids happy. Life is good.


53, Central Boulevard, 1st intersection
Central Boulevard Shopping Center
10:01 AM –Ground Floor; ASCENDING


It was crunch time. The mall just opened and this batch of ladies managed to catch the first elevator to go to the 5th floor, where this new limited-edition skincare product was being sold. It was said it works like magic, even a hopeless case can be solved. It was terribly quiet inside the elevator. The volume of their whispers was low but the tension went up the same time as the elevator. I wouldn’t even want to compete with them.


192, Central Boulevard, across TECH-UK Industries
KNJ Consolidated
12:30 NN –54th floor; DESCENDING


The heir of this company, the next CEO, is a mystery. He once proposed a deal with his father, the current CEO, that while he was training for the position, he didn’t want anyone to know how or what he looked like.

The heir was about to go down for a lunch meeting with foreign investors. Ever since he handled a part of the company as a trainee, stocks fell and the bad reputation increased. He needed this meeting to go well if he wanted to prove himself worthy he thought. Then an employee and an intern entered the lift. They were talking about him. How timely. They were discussing about how the intern was not satisfied with what he got for working in KNJ. The employee joked about resigning and leaving, finding TECH-UK better than this company. Good thing the heir was there, because once the elevator stopped, so did the intern’s heart.

237, Central Boulevard, beside Mr. Hanson’s Bakery
Central School of the Performing Arts
2:26 PM –rooftop; DESCENDING


One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight! Let’s take it from the top. The school’s dance team is about to perform in front of the student body. It is the mid-year break and they are preparing a dance routine before the 2-week break starts. It is a lot complicated than their previous numbers, not to mention having a lot of new and inexperienced recruits, but to the captain’s eyes, it is worth it. Their pride is definitely on the line. Nerves are all over the elevator as they try to master step by step, one last time, the parts in their minds. For some, this might be clockwork—watch, learn, dance, repeat. But its different today. A bunch is frightened and excited, as it signals the rise of the new crew. A few though, is melancholic and already nostalgic, after all, this is their last mid-year dance.


577, Central Boulevard, along Median Road
Pacific Medical Center and Institution
5:34 PM –basement parking; ELEVATOR EMERGENCY


The elevator music is on, but the lights are off. The nurse already called the emergency hotline while the man with her continuously plays on his phone. The nurse seems irritated, wasting time in here instead of serving and helping people, on top of it, an ignorant young adult who has yet to bat an eyelash on her is sitting there with no care. An hour has passed by. Visiting hours is almost already done. The nurse may not like to admit it but this was by far the longest break she got in this shift and that as the time progressed, she is entertained with the man’s antics. He isn’t ignorant, he’s just really finishing a game he can’t afford to lose even after an emergency. All his stories are interesting, somehow appropriate as start-up conversations for first dates. Dates. Would she consider that a date? The unanswered question is broken when the elevator jerks on with the lights. It’s safe to say; after that the elevator isn’t the only thing that is turned-on.


901, Central Boulevard
Midgard Hotel and Resort
8:50 PM –29th floor; DESCENDING


It was too quiet, almost deafening. A couple stood inside the elevator, strangers it may seem to an onlooker. I might have to repeat, they are a couple; both are nervous, but in different contexts. He was about to propose, inside this very elevator, he tried to be witty; it was something about him being in an elevator, a comparison to the box being the elevator and the ring being him. Of course, this is not the only thing he had in mind. He planned a perfect night just for him and his future fiancé.

The woman stood still inside the elevator, quite shaken. She knew what was about to happen, I mean, who would take her on a grand random date, at a random date? Definitely not her boyfriend. He was very sentimental, everything he did had a secret meaning. Accurate and precise, those were the words that could describe him. In other words, he was too much. Too accurate and precise for her. So, when he knelt down on one knee, and asked for her hand, she had to say no. She didn’t mean to be this harsh, this wasn’t the way she imagined them parting, with one knee on the ground and a leg out of the relationship. It was better this way, rather than she said yes and for her to hurt him more in the process, hurting herself too.

The look on his face was devastating. He was confused, what did she say? His ears were deceiving him, he had to laugh, was this a joke? Her eyes were filled with unreleased tears. Oh, apparently not. This was the first time he was inaccurate. His heart was broken, his heart was shattered. His heart was feeling everything, but all that he thought about, was the bill he will pay for later and how he could’ve used the money to buy the watch he saw last month.

Central Boulevard, the longest boulevard in the city. With its long stretch that is filled with variety, I now know what happens inside a lot in Central Boulevard.

Literary: Natatanging Saksi





Mula sa simula ay naroroon ka na:
Noong inuwi ko ang gintong medalya
Sa Tagis-Talino ukol sa Sibika at Kultura
Ako ay hinangaan at pinalakpakan ng madla

Hanggang sa magwagi ako ng unang gantimpala
Nagwagi at nakuha ko ang korona
Noong ako ay ginawaran ng titulong mutya
Mula sa labimpitong mga kandidata

Ikaw ay nariyan noong unang beses akong umibig
Noong nakilala ko ang aking daigdig
Mula sa unang beses niyang pagsundo at paghatid
Lahat ng iyon ay ‘yong nasilayan at nabatid

Ngunit nasaksihan mo rin ang aking pagbagsak
Matapos nilang dayain at baguhin ang resulta
Noong binawi sa akin ang koronang natanggap
Kaya’t pagkatalo ay aking tuluyang hinarap

Nasaksihan mo rin nang ang puso ko ay nawasak
Matapos niya akong bitawan at iwan nang tuluyan
Lahat ng ngiti at tawa ay napalitan ng hikbi at iyak—
Ang sakit na nadama ay hindi ko malilimutan

Lahat pala ay itinago mo sa isang maskara
Paano mo kinakaya at nasisikmura
Ang pagpapakalat mo ng mga panunuya
Upang ibaba ako sa harapan ng madla?

Pati pagkatao ko’y nais mong sirain
Paano mo ito naaatim?
Ang pagnanais na ako’y pabagsakin
At ang mga sugat ko ay budburan pa ng asin

Ganyan pala ang tunay na kaibigan
Sumasaksi upang pagkakamali mo’y pagtawanan
Naririyan upang ikaw ay lait-laitin
Handang tapusin ang ‘yong mga pangarap at mithiin

Salamat sa lalong pagdurog sa puso ko’t kaluluwa
Sa lahat ng masasakit at nakapanlulumong mga salita
Mula sa aking pag-angat hanggang sa paglagpak
Asahan mong babangon ako muli sa aking pagbagsak

Literary: Sa Iyong Pagmulat






Dumilat ka at di masilayan ang sarili
Ika’y nawawala sa kawalan
Nakagapos sa kadiliman
Ika’y hindi makalabas

Inakala mong ikaw lamang mag-isa
Ang nag-iisang pumapasan, at
humaharap sa bigat ng itinapon sa iyo
ng realidad na iyong kinabibilangan

Sa higpit ng tadhana
Ika’y hinigit patungo sa laylayan,
At sa iyong pagbagsak
Pilit kang bumabangon, tumutungo sa liwanag

At kung ang mga kamay ay dumudulas na sa pagkapit
Humawak ka pa rin nang mahigpit
Alalahanin kung paano nailigtas ang sarili mula sa malupit na kahapon
Para saan pa ang mga iyon kung ikaw ay tutumba pa ngayon?

Kaibigan, may katuwang ka
Ngunit hindi mo sila nakikita
Dahil ikaw ay patuloy na nakatingin pababa

Huwag sanang panawan ng pag-asa
Sapagkat hindi mo hawak ang mundo nang mag-isa—
Maraming kamay ang tutulungan ka’t aakapin
Aakayin ka sa iyong mabibigat na pasanin

Ang pagsubok ay magwawakas na
Lahat ng gabi’y hahangga sa umaga
Tatayo ka sa iyong pagmulat
At ang araw ay muling sisikat

Literary: Bakit ang Bilis?





Simula noong bata pa ako
Walang masamang bisyo
Mataas ang mga grado
Paborito ng mga guro

Maganda ang patutunguhan
Makinang ang kinabukasan
Hindi man mayaman
Lahat naman nakamit dahil pinagsisikapan

Ngunit marami pang dapat harapin
Marami pang susuguring mga balakid
Malayo pa ang aking tatahakin
Malawak pa ang daang nakalaan para sa ’kin

Ang tagal kong pinaghirapan ang mga gantimpala
Ang tagal kong pinilit makalamang sa paaralan
Ang tagal kong binuo ang aking kinabukasan
Ang dami kong mga pinangarap at inasahan

Ngunit dumating ang gabi na lahat ay nagbago
Bumibili lang naman sa may kanto
Sinalubong ng mga pulis
Pinahirapan, pinatakbo, pinatay

Ang lahat ay nawala
Naglahong parang bula
Sa isang balang tumagos sa aking bumbunan
Ang mga pangarap ay nawala rin nang tuluyan

Literary: The Reason Behind Life





Sometimes life gets to you when you least expect it.

I went home early from school
I had no reason to stay
Classes were over and my friends were busy
So, I guess it was time to rest

As soon as I stepped foot inside my room
I let myself fall to the bed, or the floor
My sudden tiredness enveloped me
Rendering me weak and helpless
I had no reason to think where I’ll end up

I got overwhelmed by everything, all at once
I overthought and overthought
And I let it all out
I was alone
I had no reason to keep it all in and hide

I lay in bed
Dehydrated from a much needed release
Close to defeat against the monsters of anxiety for my numbered tomorrows
And deep regret caused by unchangeable yesterdays
After a long day of bright sunny smiles and the purest, most genuine laughter
I cried

I had no reason really at that time
I wasn’t sad or angry, even happy, to make it clear
I was in the middle of an emotionless crossfire of feelings, blank
My thoughts piled up inside my head
I didn’t know how long I could go on
With unending uncertainty of what will happen next
And the bothering finality of what has already become

And as the afternoon light holds my hand
While the dimness of my room enfolds me in its arms
I felt a sense of peace come over me
I realized that I am fine and I came to terms with my fears
I am the product of my euphoria and despair
Of my highest highs, feeling immortal and infinite
And my lowest lows in the pitfalls of my everyday life
I had no reason to worry
I will be all right
I am all right

Literary: Ang Pag-ulit ng Kasaysayan






Pananakot at Militar

Nasasandatahang hukbo
Ang naging susi ng dating pangulo
Sa pagpapatakbo ng mga pulo
At pananatili sa puwesto
Tumahimik ang bansa
Hindi dahil mapayapa
Kundi sa takot na naghari
Sa puso ng mga inapi.


Matinding Pagdurusa

Libo-libong pagkulong
Libo-libong pagtortyur
Libo-libong pagkawala
Libo-libong pagpatay
Libo-libong nagdurusa
Ang nangyari sa kaniyang diktadura
Kahit inosente’y walang magawa
At pag lumaban ka, finish na.


Naipong Galit

Bawat pagtitimpi
Bawat lihim na pighati
Bawat sigaw na paloob
Bawat pagtitiis ng kirot
Ay naipon at nagsama-sama
Hanggang sa umapaw ang galit sa sisidlan
Sa pang-aabuso ng punong sukab
Poot ng madla’y naglalagablab


Nagkaisa


Sa EDSA ay nagtipon-tipon,
Lahat ng taong napilitang itago ang kanilang emosyon
Lalong-lalo na ang kanilang galit at dalamhati
Sa araw at lugar na iyon,
Nailabas nila ang kanilang nagbabagang damdamin
Sa pamamagitan ng isang mapayapang rebolusyon
At dahil sa kanilang pag-iisa,
Nagwakas ang tiraniya


Umuulit na Kasaysayan

Kontrol ng presidente sa militar?
Libo-libong nawawala?
Libo-libong hindi na muli nakita ng pamilya?
Libo-libong pinapatay?
Libo-libong biktima ng inhustisya?
Pamilyar ba ang mga eksenang ito?
Bakit tila bumabalik lamang tayo
Paulit-ulit ang malupit na siklo?


Galit na (Naman na) Mamamayan

Dahil sa kasaysayan ng bayan
Ang mga Pilipino ay natuto na
Walang kalapastanganan sa kababayan
Na palalampasin basta na lamang
Ang mga mali ay itatama
Di madadaan sa “Move on na lang”
‘Pagkat ang sugat kung maghilom man
May iniiwang pilat na di mapaparam


Pagkakaisa
?

Pangako sa ati’y pagbabago
Sa ganitong klase ng pamumuno?
Yumuyurak sa karapatang pantao
Di nakikinig sa mga pagsusumamo
Nagpapanatili pa rin sa mga abusado
At naglulugmok pa sa ating lalo?
Ang mga pagkakamaling ito na bumabalik
Sa pagkakaisa lamang natin maitatama ulit.

Literary: Entablado






          “Ma, pangako, aakyat ka sa entablado.”

          Pinauulit-ulit ko ito sa aking sarili. Iniisip na sa bawat gabing pagsusunog ng kilay ay may kapalit na tiyak na pagmamalaki ng aking nanay. Kahit gigising ako nang pagod, ayos lang dahil nga nagbitaw na ako ng salita sa kaniya.

          Bawat pagsusulit, pati mga takda, at lalo na ang mga proyekto, sinisigurado kong ginagawa ko nang buong husay. Kahit na minsan nawawalan ako ng oras sa aking sarili at minsa’y naiiyak na sa sobrang hirap, hindi ako sumusuko dahil ipinangako ko sa kaniyang aakyat siya ng entablado.

          Gusto ko kasi siyang makitang nakangiti nang may buong pagmamalaki, habang kinakamayan ang aking mga guro at matataas na opisyal ng paaralan sa harap ng marami. At pagkatapos niyon, magpapakuha kami ng litrato upang patunay na natupad ko ang matagal na niyang minimithi. At sa aming pag-uwi, isasabit ito sa haligi ng aming tahanang itinataguyod niya nang sarili.

          Sa tuwing iniisip ko ito, hindi ko maiwasang ngumiti. Sobra akong nanabik na dumating na ang panahon ng pagbibigayan ng parangal upang sa wakas, masabi ko na, “Ma, aakyat ka ng entablado.” Panigurado kasing magagalak at magtatatalon siya sa tuwa. Paghahandaan niya ‘yun at tiyak na bibili ng isusuot niya dahil alam kong mahilig siyang pumustura na bihira niyang magawa sa tuwing suot niya ang kaniyang uniporme.

          Alam ko kasing doble o triple pa siguro ng nararamdaman kong pagod ang nararanasan niya. Mauuna pa siyang bumangon sa araw upang ipaghanda ako ng almusal dahil pagpatak ng alas sais ay kailangan niya nang umalis. At sa kanyang pag-uwi, sakit ng katawan ang bitbit niya at paniguradong kinabukasan na kami ulit magkakakumustahan.

          Pero parang isang malaking ilusyon lang naman ang lahat ng ito. Hindi ko naman yata makakaya pang tumuntong sa entabladong iyon. Hindi dahil sa ako ang may mali o hindi ako nagpakabuti. Ngayon kasi, napagtanto kong kahit ang pinakamatibay na ilaw at haligi ay napapagod din.

          Hindi ko kasi napansing unti-unti na siyang napupundi. Di ko namalayang malapit na pala siyang bawiin. Ngunit bago pa man siya kunin, sabi ko sa kaniya, “Ma, aakyat ka pa ng entablado.” Pero kasabay ng pagbulong ko sa kaniya ng mga linyang ito, tumunog din ang pinakamatinis na ingay na nagpabingi sa akin habambuhay.

          Alam ko, nahihirapan ka rin. Kaya nga siguro maaga kang umalis. Pero, ‘wag kang mag-alala. Noon pa man akin nang sinabi, hindi kita bibiguin. Kaya kahit na ngayo’y mag-isa ko lamang babaybayin ang entabladong pinangarap mong akyatin, alam ko namang masaya ka sa aking narating.

Literary: Storyteller





She was known as a great storyteller

She would share her world
Through photographs

Her shots screamed vibrant colors
Showed indescribable emotions
Exhibited unique visions only she saw

Life seemed nearly perfect through her lenses
She gave hope to many who forgot to look at the bright side
Just like an oasis in a middle of a desert

It would be better if it stayed that way
But one day,
She got shot

She became known as an unfortunate blind woman

Yet she still let them see her world
Through photographs

But her shots displayed faded colors
Showed indefinite shapes and sizes
Lost the distinct direction it had before

The world seemed lacking through her lenses
Featured nonexistent focus that leaves everything in blur
Just like how a windowpane looks after the rain

She continued to reveal her unspoken thoughts in pictures
However, her snaps became unimportant
As it is now flawed and mediocre

Literary: Miss Adelaide Bell and the Nine Circles of Hell



[A continuation of The Curiosity Shop of Miss Adelaide Bell (http://upismc.blogspot.com/2018/08/literary-curiosity-shop-of-miss.html)]

Our darling businesswoman
Miss Adelaide Bell
Went on to promote her business
In the nine circles of hell

She sold a lot of element bending powers
To different types of sinners
For they were being condemned
To the very elements that fit their errors

FIRST CIRCLE: LIMBO

The pagans did not ask for much
For they were virtuous but never christened
They only asked of knowledge of true gods
For they were denied of true heaven

SECOND CIRCLE: LUST

Adulterers can now bend the air
After being punished by strong winds
Damning them to unrest
Much like their insatiable needs

THIRD CIRCLE: GLUTTONY

Gluttons can now stop the icy rain
That forced them to lie
On the vile slush it makes
Their personal degradation reflected in the mire

FOURTH CIRCLE: GREED

Hoarders asked for all the powers
Just as much as the squanderers
For their endless avarice on Earth
They were both forced to fight each other

FIFTH CIRCLE: ANGER

Wrathful men and women
Can now bend the water on the River Styx
Which they used to war against one another
The unbounded battle reflected by their anger

SIXTH CIRCLE: HERESY

The heretics can now quiet the flames
That engulfed them in their sepulcher
After believing in false gods
They are to be burned for their grave error

SEVENTH CIRCLE: VIOLENCE

Murderers can now swim from the boiling blood in which they sank
Blasphemers and sodomites can now stop the burning rain and sand from the sky
Mirrored in the vehemence of their penalty
Is the brutality and savagery they have lived by

EIGTH CIRCLE: FRAUD

From bending the flames to fighting off the demons who guarded them
Flatterers, hypocrites, perjurers, politicians and men who lived off counterfeit
Each fraudulent individual received different punishments
Reflected by the intensity of their deceit

NINTH CIRCLE: TREACHERY

When the woman went in
The silence seemed to be screaming
Not a single sound could be heard
No wailing, squalling or crying

She walked across the frozen lake
And saw blinking eyes below on bodies unmoving like marble
She saw the perfidious sinners
Paralyzed and distorted beyond imaginable

She saw the most treacherous of humans
All unmoving, unable to make deals
Because all she thought was:
“I have no business here.”

As she let those words go
The ice cracked beneath her feet
She fell as the water swallowed her
And down she went like sleet

THE CENTER OF HELL

She went deeper and deeper
And flopped on a quagmire
Adelaide looked around the icy pool and saw
Perched on a rock was a creature on fire

She saw Satan himself
And all his three heads
Each eating the worst sinner
Letting none of them ever be put to rest

“Hello, Adelaide,” said the head eating Cassius.
Adelaide put up no expression
As the traitor screamed in pain
For he was being chewed alive including the bones

“Do you know why you’re here?” asked the head with Brutus.
“No,” she said, looking at the floor.
The betrayer wailed in agony
As sharp teeth munched him to his core

The center head put down Judas’ bloody corpse
And said, “Of course you do.”
Adelaide looked him in the eyes
As Judas died and revived for the umpteenth time

“Yes, brother, I know why I’m here,”
Said Adelaide with conviction
“You hate that I’m selling your sinners
With powers that can bend their castigation.”

You see, these twins were more powerful than ever
But Satan got all of hell
And Adelaide got the shop
Leaving the daughter slightly unpleased with the will

“There’s nothing you can do about it anyway,”
Claimed Adelaide Bell confidently.
“I’ve already sold them powers
And I have a no return policy.”

“Yes but you forgot one thing,
With the bustling of business,
All these people took with them to hell
Are their sins and trespasses

They paid you with wrongdoings disguised as talents,
Debts veiled as sentiment and regrets dressed as memories
You now have all of their sins in your heart
And at the center of hell, you must pay your overdue fees.”

The floor swallowed her whole
And she fell down once more
She landed in the middle of a busy street
Dressed as a vagrant poorer than poor

She tried to look into the future
Or even form a simple spell
But Adelaide has lost her powers
And was now damned on Earth, her very own circle of hell.


Literary: Kampai!






Draft #1
          Naaalala ko pa noong mga bata pa tayo, noong edad nati’y nabibilang pa ng mga daliri ng dalawang munting kamay, kinaugalian natin ang paghahabulan sa damuhan. At kung sumunod tayo sa utos nina Mama na umidlip nang isang oras sa hapon ay papayagan pa nila tayong magbisikleta. Naaalala mo pa ba? Na lagi tayong nahuhulog at nasusugatan sa tuhod. Pero wala lang ‘yun, tinatawanan lang natin ito dahil tulad nga ng lagi mong isinisigaw sa tuktok ng mga padulasan, “Magaling tayo!”
          Ito ang pinakapinahahalagahan kong alaala natin…


Draft #7
          Noong tayo’y nasa elementarya na, tayo’y palaging magkasama tuwing recess para sagutan ang mga takdang-aralin. Iyon kasi ang payo nina Mama kaya hinayaan na lamang natin sa paglalaro ang ating mga kaklase. Naaalala ko pa, nagpapataasan tayo ng mga grado at aasarin mo ako dahil mas mataas ka palagi. At ito naman ako, maiiyak sa harapan mo. Ngunit dahil pusong-mamon ka, bigla ka ring maiiyak sa harapan ko! Ang sabi mo noon, umiiyak ka dahil magagalit sa iyo sina Titser… Pero alam kong sa loob-loob mo’y ang dahilan ay ito: ayaw mo ang nakikita akong malungkot.
Ito ang paborito kong alaala natin.
          Ito ang pinakanakatutuwang katangian mo.


Draft #14
          Pagdako sa hayskul, tayo pa rin ang magkasama. Patuloy na nagdebelop ang ating pagkakaibigan, ngunit sa kasamaang-palad… sumibol din ang lihim na pagtingin ko para sa iyo. Hindi mo lang alam na kinikilig ako sa tuwing magkasama tayo. Tumagal ito nang tatlong taon, akalain mo ‘yun? Ngunit pagdating ng Grado 9, nasaktan mo ako nang sobra.

          Bakit siya ang niyaya mo sa prom? Kahit ang pangako mo sa ’kin noong mga paslit pa tayo’y ang tanging dadalhin mo sa espesyal na gabing iyon ay ang pinakaespesyal na babae para sa iyo? Napakasakit nang malaman kong hindi pala ako iyon.


Draft #15
          Naaalala mo pa ba? Noong nasa Senior High na tayo’t panahon na ng pagkuha natin ng mga College Entrance Test? Todo-todo na ang pag-aaral ng ating mga kaklase, pero ito ako… naiiyak na lamang sa kaba. Gustong-gusto kong magpatulong sa iyo, pero may kasama ka nang iba. At hindi mo lang alam… pero ako’y umiiyak gabi-gabi dahil sa paghihirap, stress, at sakit na aking nadarama, hanggang naisipang huwag na lamang kumuha ng eksam.
          Pero hindi. Lumaban ako nang mag-isa.
          Nagpatuloy ako dahil matapang ako.


Final Draft
          Aking Erik, hindi ako makapaniwala na dumating na ang araw ng iyong kasal. Matagal mo na itong hinihintay, di ba? Tingnan mo ‘tong ngiti ko… maniwala ka man o hindi, tunay na maligaya ang mga labi kong ito. Maligaya para sa iyo. Bilang Maid of Honor ninyo ngayong gabi, nais kong magpasalamat sa lahat ng alaala natin mula bata pa tayo, elementarya, hayskul, at hanggang ngayon. Pero nais ko ring humingi ng tawad dahil sa isang punto ng ating pagsasama’y tinalikuran kita nang biglaan.

          Nais kong malaman mong lumayo ako dahil napagtanto kong dati-rati’y sabay tayong nahuhulog, iiyak, at sabay babangon. Ngunit habang tumatanda tayo’y bakit tila ako na lamang ang bumabagsak? Parang ako na lang palagi ang nahihirapan at umiiyak, habang ikaw ay nakikita kong maniningning ang mga mata, napakasaya’t walang kaproble-problema.

          Pero ang mas importanteng bagay na aking natamo ay ito: Erik, ikaw ang pinakamahalagang bagay na nangyari sa aking buhay. At kahit masaya ka na sa piling ng iba, hinding-hindi na kita tatalikurang muli, dahil kahit ganito ako―isang apoy na patuloy na nawawalan ng buhay, ikaw naman ang ningas na palaging bumubuhay sa akin. Sa tuwing kasama kita, ako’y lumalakas at tumatapang. Kapag nandito ka, patuloy akong nakababangong muli.

Literary: The Marshal's Letter





My dearest Camilla,

By the time you would have received this message, I am most likely dead or captured. You need to know something. We were sent by our empress to bring civilization here.

Our empire was forged by the blood and sweat of its people. We have paid the price for carving ourselves a place in this world. During the course of our nation’s rise, we have subjugated the lesser races, and pacified the creatures that inhabited our land. We built great spires and monuments to honor those under the empress and those who sacrificed their lives for our nation.

It was a great time then.

We conquered and tamed lands easily.

We built great cities walled with granite and crystals.

We made great weapons that could deter anyone who would dare to oppose us.

We were destined for greatness.

Even the lesser races that we have previously assimilated were now as civilized as us.

Our children did not need to work; instead they went to school and played in the streets.

Almost everyone can read and write the Imperial Language.

Artisans and craftsmen exhibited their great works in the markets and districts of our glorious capital.

Those were the good old days.

Then, we thought we could get through anything and everything. We thought that no one could beat us.

Until the day that we spelled doom for our nation. In our arrogance we stirred up the hornet’s nest.
The empress gave us the task to tame this new land. The creatures were too savage for our standards. In order for them to be pacified, we had to launch a campaign of purging and cleansing.

On that day I commanded to have their sacred ground burned and sacked, to break their will and demoralize them. It was then that the specter of retribution and death stalked us. The creatures were frenzied and began to strike us out. They were unrelenting, unstoppable, and insatiable.

The moment we killed five of their kind, fifteen more took their place. When we struck them hard, they struck us a thousand times harder.

With my recklessness, ruthlessness and incompetence, I have led our nation to its death.
As I am writing this letter, we are now retreating, with the creatures in pursue. It is only a matter of time before we’d get caught.

In time, they would come to our land and raze all that we have built.

You will never see me again, my dear. Tell our sons, daughters, and grandchildren that I love them, and that I died defending the Empire.

Get our family out of the estate and bring them to the southwestern desert lands of the Saaranedes. I pray to the gods that they be merciful to the family of their conqueror.
Please forgive me, for I have doomed us all.


                                                                                                Marshal Cervantes Franz

                                                                                                Conqueror of the Five Domains

                                                                                                Commander of the Imperial Hand

Literary: My Success





I was always bullied
For being bad at Math.
Well, I never really studied,
Always took the easy path.

But when I entered high school,
Along with Algebra and Geometry, I couldn’t survive.
I couldn’t comprehend complex equations
Because I can’t do the basic solutions.

So I did my very best
To prepare for all my upcoming tests
I was tired of being left behind
Especially when almost everyone was unkind.

Nobody stood up to help me,
Because it was enough for them to be smart.
Success in their minds is constantly staying afloat
Without having to drown once in a while.

Being defeated didn’t stop me
Despite failing and failing after trying to study,
For success is not always being right
But also getting back up when you have lost the fight.

Literary: Coup de Feu





I’m Jordan. You’ve probably heard my name in the news; the 13 year-old Mozart-Beethoven-Tchaikovsky hybrid; the child prodigy, retired at 13.

Ever since I was but a fetus in my Mother’s womb, I’ve been showing signs of exceptional genius; I remember being asked basic mathematical questions, and responding to them by tapping Mom’s uterine walls according to the answer. If I was asked “What’s three taken one?” I would tap two times.

But the most interesting of all was my reaction to musical stimuli. Whenever my Mom would play classical music, I would tap my feet along with the music, eventually the tapping of the foot turned into the waltz of my nimble fingers, which then turned into actually playing along as if envisioning an imaginary piano.

Six months after I was conceived, I’ve already developed perfect pitch. My Mom was delighted and surprised, for she taught me to correlate the frequency with a letter in the alphabet just for the heck of it. So whenever she says C, I would babble in the key of C, when she says G minor, I would cry in G minor.

When I turned one, she bought me a custom made electronic keyboard, one with soft and little keys. The grand piano at home had big keys, which my petite fingers had a hard time reaching and pressing. After a day of getting to know the basics of piano, I was already playing Turkish March flawlessly, but with my Mom telling me which keys to play. Three days after I learned to sight-read, and almost perfected Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata in a span of weeks.

When I reached two, she brought me to my first recital, where the world would start to recognize my talent. All of the other kids chose “Old McDonald” as their recital piece, but I blew them all away when I played Flight of the Bumblebee. Pianists, artists, composers, even reporters wanted to know who I am. After all, a two-year old prodigy does not come by so often. But still, all this attention felt unsettling.

When I was three, I started composing my own songs and studying music theory. I released my very first piece when I was 3 and a half, although it gathered lots of criticisms, it was still a critically acclaimed piece used in a variety of movies and soap operas.

Ever since then, I’ve been studying and been composing music: playing for musicals, theatres, movies, and dramas—

It was a very repetitive life, an unfulfilling life.

I did this until I was ten years old, when I entered Julliard for my doctorate in Music. I was a scholar there, but the miscellaneous fees aren’t covered by the scholarship that’s why I had to keep on creating mediocre music for these sellout films and series. But the major reason I had to keep doing it, was because of my Mom.

When I was five, my Mom suddenly felt very ill. We went to the hospital, and she was diagnosed with stage 2 lymphoma. The cancer had already spread out to other parts of her body, but there was still a way for her to get better. The treatments were very expensive, and Mom’s job as a music teacher in an elementary school isn’t enough.

I was five years old, and I was already the breadwinner of our family. Despite being a prodigy, it’s hard to keep up with the demands of these talent agencies. I had no freedom, I felt deprived of my creative freedom. I was five years old; I was supposed to be playing out in the field, not earning money.

My Mom was diagnosed cancer-free when I was eight years old, but I still had to keep working in order for us to live. The elementary school would not take her back, and it’s hard for her to find a job since she’s still too frail.

I’m happy my Mom’s okay, but I want my freedom back. It’s hard enough to study, but working for people who only see your craft as a profitable source? That’s the worst.

I’ve finally put an end to this. At age 11, I was teaching music theory at Julliard, and been conducting my own concertos.

I thought I would be happy. I thought I would be happy.

I’ve read articles about me, mostly praise, some criticism, but it’s just the same with every composer. I am not special— I am not a prodigy.

I’m now 13, with a doctorate in Music, countless awards to my name, numerous articles written about my success, but I’m not happy. I decided to have one last concerto, with only the people that matter to me as my audience. I rented out the whole conservatory for one night.

The only people I invited were my Mom and my teachers. I played them my latest Sonata: Coup de Feu.

After I was done, I heard the applause, the footsteps, and the silence. But the applauses echoed in my mind, the small crowd’s cheer reverberated through every inch of my being.

The curtains fell, and so did I.

I collapsed on the floor, the parquet soaking up my long overdue tears. I screamed, and I screamed, “Why me? Why me?!”

I heard footsteps, in a monotonous G-C-G-C melody. The footsteps stopped, and I felt a warm embrace surrounding me.

My tears won’t stop falling, “Why me? Why me?”

My Mother never told me the answer I wanted, but somehow she still managed to sing the words I needed, “I love you, son. Always.”

The darkness consumed the conservatory, and so did my blossoming musical career.