Hinawakan mo ang kamay ko

Habang nakasandal ako sa balikat mo

Ang lahat ay perpekto

Alam kong walang mali sa nararamdaman ko

Hanggang sa nagbago ang lahat

Ang dating matamis na panaginip ay naging masalimuot

Ang mga mata ko ay hindi maimulat

Hindi na yata matatakasan itong aking bangungot

Dahan-dahan kang bumitaw sa aking kamay

Iniangat ang ulo ko’t inilayo sa iyong balikat

Tinanggihan mo ang pag-ibig ko

Basta ka na lamang tumayo’t iniwan ako

Nakaupo pa rin ako habang pinanunuod ka

Lumalakad kang papalayo’t

Nadudurog man ang puso

Hindi ako tumayo upang pigilin ka

Nananaginip ako

Nakakulong ako sa bangungot ng katotohanan

Ayaw kong imulat itong mga aking mga mata

Pagkat di ko matanggap na wala kang pagpapahalaga

Umasa akong panaginip lamang ang lahat

Baka sa pagtunog ng kampana’y

Mga mata ko’y mamulat

Sa sakit na naramdaman diwa ko’y magising sa katotohanan.

After you left me, I began to wonder

What am I going to do

With all these poems and letters

Written especially for you?

It brings me back to where it all started.

I read the poem again and again.

It was about how we laughed and chatted,

About what happened after you pressed "send."

Browsing through my box, I found

The song of our midnight thoughts

Singing it again, I still hear no sound.

Without your voice, I feel so alone.

I listen closely to the song I played,

The lyrics speaking the words I fail to say.

I tried to forget it all in my sleep.

But even in my dreams, you're everything I see.

I wish I could forget you

Like how you forgot about me.

Even in dreams, I'm done with all the hurt and misery.

Can somebody please bring me back to reality?

As we sleep,

Our fantasies live.

Beyond the heavens,

There is a dream.

Dreams that are meant for children:

A wonderful place

Where rainbows are within reach

And on an endless happy ride.

Dreams that are created by fools:

A make-believe world

Where curious hearts wander

And try to chase the fictional home.

Dreams that are inside everyone’s minds:

An unimaginable dimension

Where everything is perfect

And true happiness is attainable.

But a dream for me is:

Our own universe

Where we reign as rulers of reality

And all its elements—stardust, space, and time

Are shaped by our hands.

Where we are not afraid to take chances

At what’s deemed impossible.

All until we wake.

Most days have different routines

Such as beating some eggs

or brewing coffee beans

But when I wake up,

I am something new,

Something that isn't quite me,

Yet something quite true.

I am the sun that shines

On these asphalt streets

Smiling courteously and such

With merry ringing greets

I am the rose that tells

Of quiet love stories

Hushed by terrible fears

Yet innocent worries

I am midnights filled with thoughts

Dying moments in ink

With flaws kissed by blots

I am the morning rush

Racing figures and lines

As canvas meets brush

I am tragic as they tried

I am tough, tested, and tried

I am gentle and soft

I am one who once thought

That I am one who could not.

Yet I am young with these plans in mind

And with my roaring soul,

With these fears free,

I am no longer blind

And these dreams are what make me,

As I write, as I love, as I learn

As I thank,

As I draw, as I believe, as I yearn

From now on, I will forever be

The girl who can,

Because I am me.

I am not

One of them

Who dreams

Of you

You may be

My unattainable goal

But I do not

Dream of you

I dream

And live

And breathe

For you

I burn bridges

And break walls

Trying to be

Your perfect match

I am fueled

By hopes of being

Worthy of

Your recognition

All of these

You are to me

All of these

I do for you

Yet I know

You wouldn’t

Want me

In your dreams

I know

You’d rather

I stop

This hopeless devotion

Maybe you

Are my

Unworthy

Saint

Maybe it’s time

To finally stop

And do all these

For me

I glance at the sky

For a glimpse of a sign

Perhaps a divine message designed

To comfort my weary mind

For the who, what, why

Fill this messed up mind of mine

And the how, where, when

Follow this infinite line

Even as I sleep

My zzz’s I could never keep

As my dreams they contort

They distort, for a relief is a leap of an effort

They would never be complete

Running away from, racing to some

Powerful entity, divine, imaginary

A faceless space with an uncanny gaze

And then I would wake up

And “What’s up?” Well, guess what

Taunted, left torn, and tainted

There is no sweet in dreams that are haunted

Without a mission, I envision

A life with no passion

As I look for a purpose

I can only curse with these verses

This life that I lead

Left to plead with these dreams

For a divine sign in those uncanny eyes

No mission, no vision, only an entity reviled.

The echoes of imagination

Bring forth our fascination

So we continue in our sleep those that are in too deep

While tomorrow’s sun creeps, we scavenge what’s left

The thoughts of tomorrow in yesterday’s mind

From a place that’s surreal but not too hard to find

The fragments of visions which we have woven

We live our talking dreams when our eyes open

But how can we walk these lines when we’re scared?

And what begets these hollow signs that we share?

Should we be afraid to deviate from the normal and the rest?

When in our dreams, every single thing is at its best?

The time to live our tomorrows starts right now

And now is the time for us to make this special vow:

We’d dream and live it—

Live this dream called life without limits

She dreamed of becoming an architect

Because you were to be a doctor

She thought it would be seemly

To have both art and science

Fall in each other’s principles

She strived to be number one

Because for her, you are the only one

She wanted to be like you

So you could be like her, too

But one night

It felt like it was the coldest of all nights

Her nightmares gave her chills

It felt like there was something missing

She looked under her pillow

And found nothing

All those dreams that she kept—now lost

She rummaged through her things, under her bed

Her dreams were not there

She heard the sound of a door closing

Then the sound of your steps—

They grew softer and softer

She then remembered and she was sure

That she gave them to you

She then realized

That you took all the fairytales she believed in

When you walked away from her

But all of these,

And the distress of nightmares she has to face—

You never knew.

You will never know.

Years back

You haven’t even set foot

In my dreams

Not even a touch

On my mind

You made.

Since that day

When my eyes

Beheld your beauty,

The way you spoke,

The way you danced gracefully,

Everything about you

Lingered

In my every dream.

Deep slumber

I welcomed

For it was my only chance

To approach you

To show you

How much I care

Yet, dreams

Don’t last long enough

To spend eternity

With you.

I hope that

The next time I wake up

From this dream

I’d be living it

In a world called reality.

Ika’y papalakad patungo sa akin

Hindi ko alam kung bakit,

Ngunit parang lumiliwanag ang buong paligid.

Marahil sa mga mata mong kumikislap,

O dahil sa labi mong mapupula,

O baka naman sa iyong mga ngiting nakatutunaw.

Sa bawat hakbang mo papalapit sa akin,

Palakas nang palakas pintig niring dibdib.

Nanlalamig aking mga kamay,

Nang hawakan mo ako’t sabihing-

“Matagal na kitang minimithi.”

Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako kasabik,

Na mula sa iyo iyan ang ay aking marinig.

Ngunit…

Alam kong mali ang maghangad,

At lalong mali ang umaasa,

Sa isang bagay na tila kahit kailanman,

Tila hindi ko makakamtam.

Siguro’y dapat na akong magising

Mula sa iyo na isa lamang panaginip.

Sa pagbagsak ng aking mga mata,

Bangungot ang bumungad sa akin.

Napakadilim, nakakikilabot,

Nakabibinging katahimikan ang bumabalot.

Nasaan na nga ba ako?

Ito na ba ang kinatatakutan ko?

Isang lugar na walang kahit isang tao,

At kay tamlay ng buong mundo.

Pilit akong gumigising,

Ngunit biglang dumating

Isang binibini sa gitna ng kawalan,

Siyang nagbigay ng saya at kulay.

Sa iyong pagdating napagtanto kong ikaw na nga,

Ang sa aki’y siyang nakatadhana.

Isang binibining kailanma’y di magsasawa,

Na ako’y samahan sa hirap man at ginhawa.

Di ko na pinakawalan,

Pagkakatao’y aking agad na sinunggaban,

Pagkat nagawa mong mapagbago ang ihip,

At ang isang bangungot ay gawing napakagandang panaginip.

I had a wonderful dream

It made me joyfully scream

It seemed so real

And I cannot explain how I feel

As we were watching the stars together

Holding hands to forever

Telling stories to each other

My mind begins to wander

To that one night to remember

That one night in December

When all my feelings I can’t seem to gather

I think… I have fallen further.

“Gising! Gising!”

Bakit ganito? Mistulang ginising ako ng katotohanan. Akala ko akin ka na, hindi pala. Panaginip lang pala. Hindi na talaga ako natuto, patuloy pa rin akong umaasa at umiibig sa taong hindi naman kayang suklian ang aking pagmamahal.

“Lagi na lang bang ganito?”

Na ang kasiyahan ko’y, isang panaginip lamang.