Showing posts with label Danisy. Show all posts

Literary: McFly





            I just woke up from a nap at 8 p.m. I feel fatigued and thirsty, as if I’m a fish out of water—so bear with the words I’m about to use while writing in this journal. I’m just jotting down anything that comes to mind.

            By the way, I didn’t notice that I had fallen asleep with my turntable still running. What can I say? I’d rather listen to jazz and blues than my stupid parents screaming at each other. Anyway, I know I seem a bit too edgy—I wonder who made me like this? Weren’t they aware that there are specific instructions to make the plot more positive and hopeful?

            Okay, that didn’t make sense, but whatever. I’m sure I’m not entirely dark and twisted. Maybe I just need someone in my life, or a little bit of something bright and shiny.

Wait… “bright and shiny”?

That rings a bell.

It’s making me have this weird sensation in my chest.

Is this—love? Butterflies? I hate butterflies. Maybe bees?

            Oh! This reminds me of the dream I just had, it was really realistic. I want to relive that dream again. I want to feel whatever I just felt once more.

            I’m gonna write it down so I can look back on it in the future. I’m not good with words, but let’s see.


            It was set in the present year, 1955. I found myself in a normal suburban town in California while my dad was driving his Ford Thunderbird. He briefly looked down to change the song on the radio, but when he turned his gaze back on the road, there was this guy sitting there and we almost ran over him. We did hit him a little bit, but luckily he was fine. I then let him into our house to freshen up ‘cause he was looking hella grody. After some time, I called him up to my room, where the lights were dim and it all felt right. I remember:


When I was with him,
I felt like I was having the time of my life
There was an instant connection,
Him and I felt like a good combination.
Like how he wore his layered tops with an orange vest,
His “Calvin Klein” undies with a smile on his face,
His fingers on the strings of my guitar,
sliding swiftly
as he effortlessly played Johnny B. Goode

I swayed, I snickered,
I sang with him.
His presence made my heart buzz with bees,
Instead of pesky butterflies.
I didn’t know what perfect was until he defined it for me.
He was effortlessly cool,
He didn’t have to try.
I didn’t even know his name,
He hadn’t even said a word.
He really did razz my berries!

Then, I looked at his eyes.

His eyes were bright and shiny,
I could see my reflection in them,
I could see the future, me with him.

We’d live in a big house by the fields,
We’d sleep in each other’s arms,
wake up to each other’s warmth.
We'd live in the moment,
We’d have Jell-O for dinner, soup for lunch,
backseat bingo, and late-night trips.
We’d fall in the abyss of love,
knowing that it’s a bottomless pit—

Then, he blinked.


            All of my visions of the future disappeared when he told me that he had to go. We went outside together, hoping that we’ll meet each other again. I was also going to finally ask for his name, until his friend appeared and said they have to go back. Go back where?

            “Back to the future. Back to 1985,” said his friend who’s driving an odd, alien-looking car, which he mentioned was called a DeLorean.

            A time machine... Out of a DeLorean.

            I was confused, but didn’t have time to react as he quickly hopped in the car and said:

            “I’m Marty McFly, see ya mo—”

            The last word was cut off because the car was too fast.

            I remember nothing else that happened after they drove away. I just know that he’s my McFly, Marty McFly. The only guy that caught my eye.

            However, it was nothing but a dream, right? But what if we actually meet again? Would that mean I just saw the future in the eyes of someone who came from the future? In a dream that is set in the present? That also doesn’t make sense, but I just know that I need to be with him. Maybe he’ll brighten up my dark and twisted life, maybe he’ll give me the love that my parents failed to give, maybe we’re meant to be.

No—I know we’re meant to be. I saw the future in his eyes, and I believe it. I will see him soon.

            I, Lorraine Baines, will see you soon, Marty McFly.


November 5th, 1955



Based on the movie: Back to the Future (1985)



Literary: Love Purgatory





In this purgatory,
You are the judge to decide your fate
You choose your own damnation or benediction
Which path will you take?
Heaven or Hell?


Heaven

It’s like spending every second of your life in Heaven
Every moment takes your breath away
With the small brush of your hands
Your heart skips a beat
Every kiss gives you a feeling of euphoria.
Like light feathers tickling the edge of your nose,
It makes the corners of your lips curve up
and your cheeks turn bright red.
Waking up next to them,
surrounded by fluffy sheets and pillows,
like you’re afloat the sky, sitting on a cloud enveloped
with white cotton and the sun’s beaming rays
It’s serene and surreal


Millions of inexplicable emotions surging through your veins
—ecstasy, tranquility
It’s the kind of love people would wish for
When a shooting star passes by
A kind of love that is flawless

But as time goes by,
It’s sickening, isn’t it?
It’s the same thing over and over again
As if time is in a loop
The same feeling residing in your heart
The same skin touching yours
The same pair of lips that brings you bliss
How are you so sure you won’t get tired of it?



Hell

“Love is Hell.”

But the heat from it keeps your blood running
The thrill of chasing something you shouldn’t have,
something you couldn’t get.
Satisfy the temptation of biting the forbidden fruit,
the thrill of insurrection, breaking free.
Every bite you take slowly kills you, yet, it’s the sweetest taste
Every second of loving someone might feel like a waste
when they don’t give the same but
Every time they do, you feel the heat all over your skin
The misery is rewarding, you keep wanting more.
Waking up next to them,
on the cold, hard cement
Drowning in the push and pull and confusion, suffering
but you know they love you, even if it feels like Hell,

There’s potential.
Hell is not too good to be true
It’s not poison ivy disguised as Heaven,
It’s a rose you’re willing to grab by the stem
being tormented is easier to trust
It’ll just go uphill from here, it can never get worse.

Millions of inexplicable emotions surging through your veins-- lucrative agony.
The dark abyss of suffering gives hope that there’ll be light in the end.
The pain makes it feel like a challenge
The days go by, every bond you make is remarkable
The chase will get your heart racing but
How are you sure you won’t get tired chasing?


Black or white,
Roses or daisies
You are the judge to decide your fate
You choose your own damnation or benediction
Which path will you take?


Literary: No Stalgia





I don’t want to go back in time,
but nostalgia is a time machine
Listening to music
takes me back to when I was thirteen

“Closer” by The Chainsmokers
reminds me of 2016,
of 7th grade when I tried to open up,
when I let myself be seen

It didn’t last long;
I was a dandelion flower blooming
just to end up as a seed being blown away
I knew I should have kept trying

“Dancing Queen” by ABBA
reminds me of a wasted year of being seventeen.
Pre-quarantine, I should’ve been young and sweet,
but now, time has passed and I’m eighteen

In the past, we always think,
“Things can never get worse than this.”
We wasted time overthinking
now all we can do is reminisce

I don’t like regrets,
and I’d rather not feel,
but certain items keep nudging me,
saying, “Remember those aspirations that could’ve been real?”

My Converse backpack
stuck with me even when it got a hole or two,
reminds me of when I was too scared to change,
to let people see what they weren’t used to

They say being scared is a good thing
for it shows that you care
But I cared too much, I was too scared
fearing change didn’t get me anywhere

The clicking of my keyboard
takes me back to when I was passionate to write,
when I was full of motivation and purpose
now, I’m writing a poem that is due tonight

This poem could’ve been better,
I could’ve socialized more;
I could’ve gone into the room of opportunities,
before time ran out, closing the door

I don’t want to keep on remembering,
I don’t want to change anything;
I don’t want to be haunted by memories,
I’d rather let them go than let them cling

I want to stop feeling,
want to forget what could’ve been;
I want to live in the moment,
want to keep looking forward

Ditch the time machine

We think time is too slow
until it has already passed
Nostalgia is just here to laugh at me,
reminding me that nothing really lasts

I’m not going back in time,
I’d rather go ask for more—
More time to let the seeds grow,
more time on the dance floor

‘Cause if I’d end up regretting anyway,
why not just do whatever?
If I end up wondering what could’ve been again,
why not live life and see if it can get better?

Nostalgia as a time machine is not the way to go
since regrets are all it can give
I’ll acknowledge my mistakes, I’ll learn from them
but I won’t look back for as long as as I live