Ang Aninag Online: mercury

Showing posts with label mercury. Show all posts

Lifeless beneath where the earthworms slither
Below the grainy dirt, sand, and mud
Among all the grey, grassy muck of the world
Where rotting scents fill the unfeeling air

I lay

Underneath a mossy stone slab
With my name engraved in black and gold
A casket of ebony cradles my body
And shuts me from the rest of the world

I start

With my bones, which once were withered
Now sprouting nerves and tendons and fat
Muscles wrap around my once frail bones
Gripping it and never letting go

I hunger

As my stomach and intestines start to form
It fills and colors my insides anew
Though filled to the brim, I thirst and I hunger
For the world beyond my self-inflicted walls

I feel

On my muscles, my skin takes shape
And the cold of my prison penetrates me
As I feel the blood flow from every crevice
Down to my pinkish fingertips

I awake

To see that what I used to be exists no more
I feel both more and less of the world
And I find myself to be littered with scars
But they don’t hurt as much as they used to before

I push

My casket which kept me locked away
And the earth which used to weigh down on me
Can’t hold me back as I breathe again
My hand reaching out to be free again

I live

All that used to be-- I now forgive
Beware for I have finally unearthed
But fear not for though I am not the same
I’m not undead, for at last, I’m reborn

The soul you bear is unlike the rest,
Variegated much more vibrantly.
If I were to list all of your wonders,
I could write on for all eternity.

For one your laughter is a sweet euphony,
A pleasant song trapped inside my mind.
It keeps me afloat in a daydream,
All of my worries left behind.

Your eyes are quite a raconteur,
They cannot help but confide.
For when your smile gives me doubt,
The eyes have nothing to hide.

Your sadness remains clandestine,
Woven and stitched inside your heart.
Oh, how I yearn for their evanescence and
Resignation from rending your dreams apart.

My mind can't help but be saturated,
Colored by words and images of you.
And in my chest, my heart sleeps sound,
Replete with the same stories told anew.

Yet I cannot help but let skepticism be,
Ambivalence conquers this fainthearted being.
But through the transience we have together spent,
These euphemisms divulge three words I've long been fearing.

EDITED 1
The soul you bear appears just like the rest,
Variegated yet lacking in vibrancy.
So if I had a list of all your wonders,
It certainly wouldn’t go on for eternity.

My laughter or being isn’t some euphony,
You’re trapped in a world inside of your mind
And you say you’re afloat in a daydream-like bliss;
More proof that reality has left you behind.

Now see, you’re quite a raconteur,
So I cannot help but be skeptical, although
Seeing your smile, I’m betwixt and between--
Then again, your eyes say it’s all just for show.

You don’t keep your foolishness so clandestine,
Unwoven, unstitched inside of your heart.
I suppose I yearn for its evanescence--
Finally rendering your “dream” apart.

My mind can't help but be quite irked,
Colored by words you claim are true.
And in my chest, my heart is sure,
It’s perceiving the same old stories anew.

I cannot help but let skepticism be,
Ambivalence conquers this fainthearted being.
But looking through the transience we have together spent,
Your euphemisms-- it’s all a sham that you’re seeing.

LE: You’re very eloquent and verbose but since your imagery and metaphors are all simply vague and detached, I gave you a low score on your content. I edited it so you’ll finally see the reality behind your idealization. Keep the three words behind your euphemisms to yourself, I don't want to hear (or read) them.

You’re also a mess of a person. Deductions on organization.

Editor	Content	Language	Organization	Total	Recommended/ Recommended with Revisions/ Not Recommended
Literary Editor	1	5	1	No	Not Recommended!

There you stand with your blue balloon
Keeping it from the rain of June
You hold the string so firm and tight
You’ve held it now for days and nights

There you stand with your blue balloon
And even on this afternoon
You keep it tethered to yourself
Because it is for no one else

There you stand with your blue balloon
I hope you notice pretty soon
Its dear blue head is losing air
Your grip to it, it can not bear

There you stand with your blue balloon
It’s looking for the opportune
To wriggle free from your tight grip
But now its head is in a dip

There you stand with your blue balloon
Its very being, hacked and hewn
It’s flattening; no longer round
It’s inches from the cold hard ground

There you stand with your blue balloon
You know, it could’ve reached the moon
It lost your unfair, biased fight
No longer can it reach high heights

Draft #1

Infuriating
This page of boundlessness
Its barrenness haunting me
With words of continuity

...

Draft #578

Aggravating
This page of limitlessness
Its desolateness ridiculing me
With words of immeasurability

...

Draft #13905

Irritating
This page of vastness
Its emptiness mocking me
With words of sempiternity

...

Draft #∞

Frustrating
This page of possibilities
Its blankness taunting me
With words of infinity

Sa loob ng kabibe, ika’y nagtatago

Bulag sa iyong kagandahan at halaga

Nagtataka kung kailan ang pagbabago

Kung kailan makararanas ng aruga

Hinihintay makita ang sikat ng araw

Pagbukas ng kabibe ang inaasahan

Hangarin ang kumalas sa bigat ng bughaw

Kinabukasan ang iyong pinagmamasdan

Iniwasan ang kabibeng nakasusuklam

Ang hinahanap ay likas yaman na litaw

Iniiwan ang kabibe, walang paalam

At ikaw ay nangangarap na may dadalaw

Tahimik na naghihintay sa pagbukas

Hinahanap, pagmamahal na kailangan

Hangarin ang may tumulong sa’yong kumalas

Naghihintay, ang perlas ng ating silangan

Sunshine
You beckon me
To inch
Further from
The dark
With its grasp
So empty

Sunshine
Your glow
Pierces my skin
Warms my
Bones
Grabs
My heart

Sunshine
I’m turning
Incandescent
And true
I feel
My soul
Released

Sunshine
You bring
Me close
To the sun
As we dance
In comfort
Of the morning

Moonshine

I felt
Trapped
Till you came
And showed me
Light
Unseen

Moonshine
You guide me
Through the
Darkness
On the horizon
Beyond all
The fears

Moonshine
I’m turning
Iridescent
And new
I feel
My heart
Take flight

Moonshine
You bring
Me close
To your world
As we dance
In comfort
Of midnight

Here I stand in the grasp of the light
It pierces my eyes as it glows so bright
This fire “definitely” burns what’s true
Then it attacks when it’s close to you

Before it attacked, I inched way too close
Reaching, it’s flame’s burning, I didn’t know
Like a firefly, allured by the light that I’ve seen
‘Til I did learn that it’s hostile and mean

Fire, why does your body burn when I touch it
And keeps me at bay whenever it’s lit?
I’m suffering, yet you are still ablaze?
Do you not see my struggles in this constant haze?

Why do your embers dance all around me?
Taunting me with all the red that I see
This inferno sizzles my very bones
As you throw me all of your sticks and stones

A: I feel lost.
B: Come into my embrace.

A: I want to cry.
B: Cry on my shoulder.

A: I want to escape.
B: I’m right here beside you.

A: Thank you so much.
B: I love you too.

Don't you think this world is pretty much one big math equation? I mean, think about it, a lot of the things we enjoy today and have been enjoying for thousands of years can now be calculated in some way, shape, or form. So many things in the universe we live in today can be translated into a kind of math equation or number. You can see various statistics estimating the number of people who died back in World War II, you can use basic subtraction to determine how much change the cashier will give you when you pay money beyond the price of their product or service, you can even use the magic of combinations and permutations to find out the probabilities of events that have yet to come. In this day and age, it's pretty hard to prove anything without using some kind of pre-existing math equation and/or concept to back it up, just look at all the proving we need to do in Geometry class. It's like our reality and very existence can be summed up by numbers that define us in one way or another. It's kind of crazy, but at the same time fascinating how these numbers basically run our entire reality and how it can even be linked to the past, the present, and even the future.

Now, I'm not a mathematician. I just failed a recent math test, so I'm not the most reliable person when it comes to numbers, but I did my research... to a certain extent, and now I'm going to present to you what I call my Theory of Infinity and its Relation to the Relationships between Living Beings or the Theory of Infinity, for short.

First of all, let's look at infinity itself. What is infinity? Based on the definition I found in Britannica.com, infinity is the concept of something being endless or having no bounds, like it could go on forever. Infinity is a concept, not a number in and on of itself. Think of it this way, Pi or 3.14... has an infinite amount of numbers (this can be said since we haven't found an actual end to pi) and there are infinite amounts of number combinations between the numbers 1 and 2. Now, just because pi is infinite and the numbers between 1 and 2 are infinite, doesn't mean pi and the numbers between 1 and 2 are the same thing. There are different kinds of infinities in the world, and infinity will simply be infinity unless you give it more substance or meaning like if you say, "I see infinity.” It’s not the same as saying, "I see an infinite amount of stars in the sky." Infinity is just a concept until you apply it to something that gives it more purpose. Now, let's connect that to humans.

As I said in the beginning, our world can seemingly be summed up by an equation or numbers and such. So right now, think of two people. It doesn't matter who they are, what they look like, how close they are, whether or not they know each other. Just think of two people. Most likely, there are different things that separate these two beings from each other, right? From their height, to their ideals, to what they look like, they're two separate beings with their own lives. To give you an easy to grasp version of my point, let's say these two people are 3 meters apart in terms of distance. In terms of math, we all know that between those cardinal numbers is an infinity. In between 1 and 3 could be 1.5, or 2.67, or even, 2.783564. Between the 1s, 2s, and 3s are infinities. These two people are separated by infinity or infinities. Even if they go closer, making that distance 0.5 meters or they go further away from each other, making the distance 5 meters, there will always be an infinity between them. Even going beyond the numbers, these people will always be separated by something internal. It’s something no amount of movement can change.

Some people might see that as a sad thing. No matter what you do, infinity will always be between you two, but how I see it, the fact that infinity will always be a constant in our lives and our relationships with other people is amazing. You will always have this endless boundlessness that connects you in unimaginable ways. Like I said before, infinity will simply be infinity unless you give it something more. How that infinity is defined is ultimately up to us. The infinity, as defined by the number of numbers in a number; infinity, as defined by the number of stars in the sky; infinity, as defined by the number of possibilities and choices we can make in our lives; and there is also the infinity, the constant in the lives of two people. The infinity between one and another, the infinity as defined by two people.

Why is this important to note? You might ask. Other than interpersonal relationships, how will this knowledge help? To that, I say, look at the world around us today. The world is so divided because they think everyone is so different from them, and they're right. But between everyone is the same constant infinity that will always bind us together. How each of them reacts to one another is dependent on the meaning they give to the infinity between them, whether they see it as something that separates them, or links them together. I guess in some sense it reminds me of the Labelling Theory, with all the putting labels on things. And I guess in a lot of ways it is. The main difference though is if the world likes numbers and equations so much, here's a math-y way to explain a very subjective matter. So really, this is just a mathematical Labelling Theory.

...

Now, beyond all of this, I want to say something to someone close to me who's scared of leaving his friends for college. You see, I didn't just write this without purpose. I have a duty to those who have a special place in my heart, and here’s my message to a special person I hold dear. So, to my best friend, after reading my so-called theory, I want to say that no matter what, there will always be an infinity between us, but it's not so bad. I want you to know we have this infinity together. No matter how far apart we are, we will always have this connection that links us.

You might be wondering what makes it different from my relationship with others? I also have an infinity with them, but that's what's so great about this concept. No two infinities are alike. The meaning we give to the space between the two of us will never be the same as with other people. Everyone has infinity together, but no one will have the same kind of infinity as we do. It's like saying the infinite number of particles in the universe is the same as the infinite number of guests in Hilbert's Hotel (you should check this concept out by the way. It's fascinating). Our infinity is unique and special because we say it is, and the fact that it will always be the constant between us is amazing to me, and I hope it is for you.

And yes, I know you enjoy arguing with me sometimes (or rather, I'm the one who enjoys arguing with you haha), and you can say that some infinities are greater than others but think about it more, our infinity will always be changing no matter what. Our infinity could be greater or smaller with each passing day. With something as simple as our distance to each other changing over time, to even the tiniest interactions we have that changes our perception of each other, this endlessness within the different distances we have about each other will always keep changing, however, it will still be infinity. You once said the only thing constant is change, well, now you can add infinity to that list of constants. It will still be special, I will still hold it dear, and it will still be important to me. If ever there comes a time our infinity will simply be a bunch of numbers as we lead on our separate lives (I hope this won't happen), we'll at least have the infinity we shared, and somewhere and sometime, we know it exists, no matter how far we try to get away from it, it will always have existed, that is the constant in our infinity, that's what's in the space between us. You can't erase its significance, just like how you can't simply erase the stars in our universe. No matter what happens, you will always be in this infinity of mine and I hope you define this limitless, endless space between us together with me till the very end.

Just as John Green wrote in his book, The Fault in Our Stars, "Between these numbered days we have together are infinities," and though our lives together in high school will one day come to a close, we will always have this infinity together. Thank you for existing in my life, and thank you for these tiny, yet life changing moments of forever. If I don't get Alzheimer's or amnesia, I will never forget you. I love you.

Every single bony presence in your body
Is a chunk of flesh that alters the world
Infinite essence, your tongue clicks more
As your body gets made to be heavenly light

Infinite essence, you’re not free, yet complete
Continuously losing your eternal constants and restraints
With your muddy ink splotched on your pupils like a cloth
You fantasize for a world so utterly clear and distorted

Your teeth clatters like your joints when you walk
Even as you frolic with the poppies and the grass
Ever so gentle, you dance with the night
Infinite essence, you equal moon’s tears

Dancing like fairies, you’re gone as the night
You capture the beauty of your own empty slumber
With the stars falling, you tiptoe to its very top
And fall to an untimely timely end to be reborn

Red

I see red as it touches my being. Feeling the warmth slowly brushing until the very tips of my hair. The touch of it, eternal, as I feel it delicately placing itself on my cheek. Burning, but never hurting as it echoes through every fiber of my being. With every line, every fold, and every print, it embeds itself and sets my heart ablaze. No wonder you say it’s your favorite color.

Orange

I see orange as it fills up the air. With every whiff, I catch its aroma. Its sweet citrus flavors seemingly flow with the cool, crisp breeze. This orange, unknowingly, dances around me. Tempting me with its pure fragrant richness. It beckons me to come closer with the smell of fresh leaves and honeydew. I cling to you in the comfort of honeyed emanations. Closer, I inch to your fruity cologne.

Yellow

I see yellow in your grandiose symphonies. A quip released and you burst out the song. It enters my ears and rings in my brain. Melodious and messy and loud and cheery. Yellow has no tune but I smile with each verse. Yellow’s cute giggles eventually meet mine, as they intertwine and curve at the ends and pass through my skull. Making me smile at our comical talks.

Green

I see green within your soul. Your sweet-sour taste continues to improve over time. Green passes through the buds that see who you are. It knows you’re good and healthy with your rich pleasant flavors. An explosion of sweet, sour, spicy, piquant. Like wine and cheese, green ages and endures to be fine. I hope I can be here and see green in me too.

Icarus flies with old wax and feathers
Wings that he crafted with his loving father
And both, locked away, up high in a tower
Flew out the window, without looking down

Across the great ocean, they flew to the sky
The openness greeted their mortal ambitions
But beneath all the greetings that seem so inviting
Are truths that have led most flyers astray

His dear old father, he knew way better
With experiences going down years and years deep
He flew way higher than where water pulls down
but lower that he doesn’t burn from the sun

But Icarus, young and naive as he was
He never did listen to his loving dad
A person who never did want him to fall
Whether from flying too high or too low

He flew way too high, and soared through the sky
Across the great ocean he feels he would pass
With hues, ever-changing, with golden white rays
And a fiery feeling, that burns deep within

Icarus, too deaf with his own ambition
The thrill of the top was his biggest downfall
He flew up too high, wings burnt up to ashes
And there, he did fall and his pride filled with gashes

He drowned in the deep dark seas of his making
Which made him not dream, without even waking
He lost his breath, from a sight way above him
And from the great heights, he burnt up with a splash

The warmness of sunlight, the softness of clouds
The feeling that you never have to go down
Flight was his siren, his hubris, sin
The problem, I, Icarus, have deep within.

Yes, I am he, who flew up above
Burned by the rays, engulfed by the sea
But I only regret one thing in my mind
My father, who had to go leave me behind

If he could read this, I wish him the best
Someone please tell him I’m taking my rest
To be carried by pride, mixed with wax and old feathers
I’m such a disgrace and,

“I’m sorry, my father.”

Sitting, patient, calm, secure
Inside the box of this darkness so pure
Empty, cramped, tight, and so black
Inside the box, I am here, I am Jack

If I’m wound up, I want to get out
Springing and spinning and moving about
Don’t turn the crank if you don’t like surprises
In my dear box, Jack, myself, comes and rises

Loud, explosive, cheering, and screeching
Beyond this small box, I am bawling and screaming
Cackling, bouncing, whooping, and howling
Outside the box, I am Jack, who is squalling

Silence, leaps, roars, and then fear
The quietest ones are the scariest, dear
Deafening, startling, finally, truth
Jack-in-the-box, a toy for the youth

When people stop to stare, never see
a child inside a crib is all I seem to be
but confined in a safe, voiceless, prison for sheep
will never condemn my curious eyes to fall asleep

Though people block my mind with honeyed words and flowers
I can still see the kingdom and the lies of those in power
and as I look at the jesters' dance for the king
I can hear the loud song that their people would sing

I don’t pretend to know what lies beyond the walls
Yet I cannot stand idle as I watch this nation fall
so divided as our hate creates doors that we shut
This, a free nation? We are anything but

I see people forced to silence by parrots perched up high
Scholars put to prison for asking, “Why should I?”
Forced to simply follow and abide by all the rules
by fools who just believe we are all just useless tools

They've built us a maze where we are the mice
Not in the least do they think about the price
They never showed guilt for the 'mice' that they've killed
Because others are mesmerized by the walls that they've built

People want to be children, they like feeling safe
They are adults inside cribs, 'cause they try to avoid chafe
They forget that being 'safe' allows chains in your mind
and they freely ignore others, because they are blind

Engrossed with the present, but they never unwrap it
In this unknowing truth, they only submit
but some do believe in the treasure beyond
past the alliances masked men have bond

We rise from a previous keeper of our being
and as we slowly stand, we end up seeing
something dark and scary in our nation afoot
And suddenly, guns begin to shoot

Starlit Questions

We stand underneath the stars that can't be seen
and trees that gently follow the midnight's breeze
and we laugh at what we think the world could mean
and the moments we have, this night, we seem to seize

I laugh at things that you would say and do
and you tell me that you think this is true
and I want to believe my future is with you
hoping every moment will seem new

You look at me, smiling, yet staring intensely
and I look away, afraid of what I see
since in my mind are thoughts that you will stay right here with me
and feelings growing more immensely

You fill my nights with endless thought and wonder
within the words you send of black and gray
yet with these loving words, I seem to ponder
if tomorrow, will you be here to truly stay?

Moonlit Answers

Amidst this dark road, under the milky moonlight

We pondered where the stars might have gone beyond our sight

Wishing we could see them right now under this black night

A moment between us I thought just felt truly right

In the middle of the dark where the light doesn’t reach

We intertwined our hands, every finger soft as peach

Holding you tightly, as if the world is within my reach

Here we don’t need words, we don’t need any speech

Every moment of this, I can’t help but keep smiling

Each time I look at you, I can’t help but keep falling

Even as your eyes reflect all of your worrying

I know I’ll stay here, never ever leaving

No matter how many sad and sorrowful nights that passes by,

I’ll stay for those happy moments, even if they’re few

Even as the sky turns red and the big world turns blue

Forever and ever, I’ll stay here and be with you

(You can also read it back and forth from girl to boy)

Girl: Boy:

Today, This Valentine’s Day,

I'll go up to him, proud. Confidently, I'll say how I feel.

I’ll write on this lacy heart with a pen I was nervous, but I mustered up my

in my hands. courage with this card.

"When we first met, up until now, "I'm not sure what to do.

I feel weak, even when you're doing nothing; I still feel butterflies in my stomach.

My world turns bright, even at night. Because you're more than a best friend to me

You're the One." You're my Always."

Words can't truly express how I feel. I'm scared.

I'm still extremely unsure And yet with fear in my heart, I swallowed and counted to

ten.

The world keeps teasing and breaking us but With every problem I will still be here for you

No matter the fear or rejection No matter the trials we face

I Love You

Ang sabi mo sa akin, “Hindi na kita gusto”
Akala ko importante ako sa buhay mo, ngunit
Sabi mo sa akin, “Ayoko na”
Paiyak na ako sa mga binibitawan mong salita
Inaalala ko ang mga panahong magkasama tayo
“Gusto ko sanang maging parte ng mundo mo, pero…”
Nakatingin ka sa aking mga mata
“Sana umoo ka,” ang sabi ng boses mong nanginginig
Tumingin ako sa lupa, naiintindihan ang gusto mong sabihin
Iniisip ko ang lahat ng posibleng mangyari
Naroon ka, at hinawakan ang aking mga kamay
“Sana pumayag ka”

(Basahin mula sa baba pataas)

Literary: In the Graveyard

Literary: The Annotation of My Feelings

Literary: The Blue Balloon

Literary: Drafts of the Writing Process

Literary: Ang Kabibe

Literary: Shining Out There

Literary: Burnt

Literary: Intangible

Literary: Our Infinity Together

Literary: The Creative Commitment

Literary: Blind

Literary (Submission): Burning Feathers

Literary: Jack-in-the-Box

Literary: The Voice of a Baby

Literary (Submission): Starlit Questions x Moonlit Answers

Literary (Submission): Back to Back

Literary (Submission): Kung Iba Ang Nangyayari

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