Denial
Been telling myself this is all a weird dream,
hoping and praying you’d be there when I wake.
Pinching myself doesn’t work, it seems,
still in this dream, my heart is starting to ache
What a nightmare this would be
if this is actually reality.

If this is real life, I am not ready,
that can’t be your last breath,
you cannot leave me.
My body losing all its strength,
I never knew death was this heavy,
please, my mother, just wake up already.

Anger
All the silence and the pain,
now transformed into sorrow
I want to scream; my frustrations, I cannot contain.
My faith in life, suddenly turned zero,
If life is fair, how is it that no one can explain,
why good people die, and the evil remain?

Of all the people in this cruel world,
why does it have to be you?
How is it fair that you, who only helped, are gone,
while the selfish get to live their life through?
In this unjust society of today,
do you have to be cruel like them, to get to stay?

Bargaining
You were once the very definition of perfection and much more
You are my sun during the day
Both the moon and stars that illuminate my night
You are my light—you were once my light
With your absence my days have been bleak
Each day dull, very monochromatic

Gods who denied me of laughter
Now, you’re even depriving me of myself
Hear my prayers, ohh gods of heaven
Grant me a few more months, weeks, or even just a day
Lend me my light that I may find the will to live
Before I find myself succumbing to the call of death

Depression
I lie awake long into the night, confined in solitude
Separated from everything that is bright
The salty smear of tears evident on my sleep-ridden eyes
My only companion, darkness.
Every nook, each cranny, even the crevices are pitch black
Mirroring the thoughts that are slowly devouring my mind.
But I deserve this, this is the punishment warranted for my kind

No longer will I point fingers where they’re not due
It is I, who is to blame for the ceasing of my light
The signs were lining up before my eyes
Screaming for attention, begging to be noticed.
But my foolish self was deeply occupied by things so trivial
That I failed to heed your cries
It was I who failed you

Acceptance
Maybe this world is just not suited, for a lady of your caliber
You are better off in the heavens
Sitting alongside the angels and the almighty himself
It is selfishness to keep your luster contained
To keep the light all for myself
When you’ve always been destined for greatness

There is no night without a dawning
Every chapter has its end
But your presence will always remain
Etched in my heart is your existence
You will always be my light
May it be in this lifetime or the next

The old house now stands abandoned
Derelict, forgotten, alone
Locked inside are my childhood dreams
My laughter, my innocence

My feet stir against the dust
As I take one last glance
I slowly come to a realization
I know that I, too, must leave this house

However difficult it might be
It's still a comfort to know that wherever I go
I will forever have memories, stories
That I would never need to let go of

Despite the faded paint
Its colors will always stay vibrant
Every corner of each room
Every edge, vivid

And it will forever remain that way
For as long as I remember
For as long as I do not fail to forget,
This abandoned house will always be my home.
With its stories kept hidden inside my head.

To be free of the weight

That holds us down,

That keep us awake,

That threatens to drown

Is to accept.

That not a mind filled with worries,

For what is to come,

Nor the shadow of regret

For what could’ve been done

Would help you escape from the cloud of questions

Nor will it free you from your hallucinations

Rather, you must embrace reality

that the world as you know it, is merely

A cloud of illusions

Filled with nothing but inhibitions

Open your eyes

Marvel at the beauty of the world filled with uncertainty

For surely there are far greater things

That your mere eyes have yet to see

A future that even your clever mind can never foresee

Well, the future’s uncertain

and different for all

It’s a blurred out mystery,

a closed metal door with tall walls

I guess it’s because of the feeling we get

when we feel unsure, scared, or upset

We anticipate silently, but our mind speaks to us out loud

as if it spends every second figuring things out

Even when we don’t know how things would end,

it’s part of our nature to play pretend

that we’re sure although we’re truly afraid

of possible mistakes that could be made

So it’s not really mystery we fear

but the presence of the unknown making things seem unclear

Maybe because we see the unknown

as a dooming place where danger is prone

It’s full of risks that are too big to take

and bottling thoughts that keep us awake

You’re not wrong about the three things you said,

but the root of all fear could just be in the head

of whoever feels like there is something to fear

and tries to seek too much of what isn’t here

Instead of focusing on what’s in front of them now,

some ask too much about the why’s and the how’s

of the things that can’t be seen and can’t be controlled,

thus giving them another fear to hold