Ang Aninag Online: joma

Showing posts with label joma. Show all posts

You’d never have the need

To put me up in

monuments

markers

statues

plaques

tombs

You’d never have the need

For faux commemoration

I come with a storm

And each time it pours

You’d drown in my memories

And uselessly plead yourself

To stop remembering my face

5:24 pm
We were lilacs and tangerines
In a perfectly painted sunset sky
Luck must have worked its magic when
Two shades at far ends of the color wheel
Met to parade their otherworldly glow
Each time the sun begins to slow

11:11 pm
The overcast inches hastily
Turning the warmth of the afternoon
To bleakness of the gloaming
What once were lilacs and tangerines,
Now tenebrous hues of blue
And to plead was all I could do

2:00 am
The moment our blues turned to blacks
Is when I knew we’ve lost to luck
Luck’s a filthy foe for chancing upon us
At sunset
Which lasts but a few minutes
But burns everything with it in its hellish glow

5:55 am
Till cockcrow I tend to the burns
From the radiance
We thought as serendipity
Still I ponder,
Was the sunset our destiny
Or a sign of how we are not meant to be?

Waking up at ease
With fresh eyes
And a rested mind
Has now become a rarity

On these unusual days
When the sunlight
Calmly hits my face,
When all else is quiet
Save for the humming of
My merry fleeting thoughts

I choose to photograph
And lock these days
In my memory

I know full well
That these are but passing bouts –
Quick, evanescent
A taste of happy amidst a palette
Of a sullen, mundane life

So might as well remember
That I, too, am capable
Of happiness and content

Might as well photograph
The sights, sounds, feelings
Everything
That once again
Has made me feel
Alive and beating.

Now you get why I never photographed you.

Ruefully made choices
Surprise me no longer;
Every day I live
By my deliberate wrongdoings
Their ghosts haunt me
As I bend back the fingers
That point at me accusingly
I’ve long washed myself of guilt
And I’ve long turned away
From the prospect of forgiving
Why repent
If I’d fall back in sin, anyway?
Why repent
If you’d take me back in, anyway?
So as much as I
Would like to feel remorse
It is with no contrition
That I say this:
Sorry,
You were just one
Of my wrong choices

Don't you dare
Try to coax me into
Spilling out the parts of me
You deem worthy of a show
I am more than just
A spectacle
For you to enjoy
That you will mindlessly watch
For a moment's pleasure
Of your empty,
Lustful soul
I am not
For your entertainment
My parts aren't made
To fill in the hollow crevices
Of your wretched self
Only to be spat out
When you have had
Your convenient dose

apparently,
women are blessed
with the privilege to tread
savage paths tamed
by manly and macho men,
that we are dainty damsels –
fussy, feeble, fragile, frail
everything that’s not
to be identified with the
glorious capable men.

apparently,
we are lesser beings
incapable of taming
our own savage paths
whose only consolation
is to be set up right under
the pedestal of our fathers
and sons and husbands
whose images we glorify
by the ladylike graces
our womanhood exudes
as if we are prized possessions
thanks to our extolled graces
as if our identity
can never go beyond
this wretched femininity

and we laugh at your faces
as we step on the ideals
you’ve long locked us in.
watch us crush mountains
of your vile prejudices
for here lies in our wombs
a universe infinitely more virtuous
than this one ruled
by wild and primitive beasts

but don’t you worry
our wombs
shall not bear to rule.
we come in peace
to reclaim our throne
long corrupted and defamed
but is now finding its way
back to its rightful place –
beside you.

Have you attached yourself
To the numbers
Well enough that you
Have stripped yourself off
Of your genuine worth?

When grades lose measure
To your intellectual prowess,

When waistlines lose figure
To that coveted shape,

When pricy shoes lose step
To the miles your life will stride,

When numbers lose count
To man’s real worth,

Would there still be something left
Of your worth?

Set Yourself on Fire

I crave for flavors
That can never
Grace my plate

For voices
That can’t even
Mouth my name

For arms
That shudder
With just a single touch

I long for you
And I am scared

For whatever I yearn
Turns out of ambition and vain
I am not the one you seek
Yet still I strain
To keep you within my reach

As if I was made
To be ablaze
But never actually
Set you in flames

I Drown in Rain

I deserved not flavors

That rid my palette

Of bitter past

Nor the voice

That sung hymns

Of my cursed name

Nor the arms

That held me

And my burdens

I have denied you

And I am scared

For whatever I did

Turned out of illusion and pain

I am not the one you need

Yet still you strain

To reach what you will never keep

As if it was meant

To be drenched

And forever more

Be drowned in rain

I’ve committed sin
And folly
Now my prayers
Have gone unholy

I am told I am filthy
And that I’ve gone crazy
But it’s fine
You are as well, anyway

So if you deem yourself righteous
Come save me with your deity
Pray for my soul’s saving
Or save me with your glory

I love the way
Your hands caress
The tips of my fingers
As you nudge my hand
To feel the warmth of yours

I love the way
Your forehead turns
Into a crease
When you doubt the things
That seem out of our reach

I love the way
You hold my gaze
And pin my soul to place
As we laugh and fill the cracks
Of this little world we’ve made

I love the way
You speak of your love
As you part your lips
And slowly mouth
My name

But

It is not your name
That fills the void in my lips
It is not your gaze
That I long to hold
It is not your worries
That I yearn to ease
It is not your hands
That I desire to touch

It is not you
That I love

<!doctype html>

<html>

<head>

function N073YF^8LT()

var aa= "I";

var ab= "don't";

var ac= "get";

var ad= "you";

var ae= "And";

var af= "the";

var ag= "lines";

var ah= "you'd";

var ai= "twist";

var aj= "To";

var ak= "make";

var al= "code";

1F (x == x)

var ba= "I";

var bb= "hate";

var bc= "your";

var bd= "work";

var be= "Bugged";

var bf= "and";

var bg= "glitched";

var bh= "And";

var bi= "impossible";

var bj= "to";

var bk= "fix";

EL53 (x != x)

var ca= "I";

var cb= "am";

var cc= "waiting";

var cd= "for";

var ce= "you";

var cf= "Incomprehensible";

var cg= "To";

var ch= "tweak,";

var ci= "break";

document.Y0838S7KN0W7H1S.value = ""

var da= "You'd";

var db= "come";

var dc= "to";

var dd= "me";

var de= "and";

var df= "cry";

var dg= "Say";

var dh= "that";

var di= "only";

var dj= "I";

var dk= "make";

var dl= "you";

var dm= "That";

var dn= "way";

var dp= "you";

var dq= "wish";

document.getElementById("7RY\G/1N").value

var ea= "But";

var eb= "I";

var ec= "know";

var ed= "you";

var ef= "not";

var eg= "And";

var eh= "I";

var ei= "just";

var ej= "don't";

var ek= "want";

var el= "it";

var em= "For";

var en= "me";

</script>

Here I am kissing you with subtle words

And clever cover-ups so I can hide

This treachery that I have done

My kiss whispers your death

As I await your demise

For word of my

Disloyalty

Would soon

Reach you and bring

About rage and disbelief

It's not your fault you stumbled

Upon an unfaithful and cunning love

Sorry for playing, honey. I was just lonely.

One sultry April night
We were sipping Tanqueray
Beneath the stars

It’s just you and I
Our backs to the ground
Our faces to the sky

As we bask
In the glory
Of the stars

Wallowing in
The delicate shimmer
Of the moon

The universe seems ours
And you have never
Felt so mine

But then I awoke
In the same spot
As my dream

Same moon
Same stars
But it’s just I

Then I remembered how
It’s been two
Aprils now

Since the night you joined
The very moon and the stars
We so much loved

The pain hit me hard
As I wish again
For rain to come

Hoping somehow
You’d fall back here
As the heavens cry

When this poem
Finally comes to an end

I’d be tearing down the pictures
Of all the places we’ve been to
I’d be burning them
Together with the hopes and dreams I had for us two

I’d be emptying the crate
Of all the movies
And music
We’ve shared with each other

Piling them out, one by one
Stacking them neatly into parcels
To be sold later
In the cheapest, lowest prices

You see, I have been holding on
To the promise of you for so long
That I’ve amassed quite a collection
Of reminiscences I have of you

And you must also see
That I’ve clung to the promise
Of you coming home soon
Longer than I probably should have

So I guess it is only right
I heal myself at last
Of all the mournful colors
You’ve inflicted upon me

It is only right
I make you a promise
And keep it just as how
You refused to keep yours

Now as I leave with a clean slate
Heed this vow:
I will not be
Coming back to you.

Umagang-umaga pa lamang

Excited na kaming gumapang

Papunta sa kantinang binabantayan

Ng aming Papa Allan

Oh jusko, hindi kami mapakali

Nagmumuni-muni, nagbabakasakali

Na siya ang maabutan mamayang tanghali

Sa pagpili, pagbili, pati na sa pagsukli

Sa pagdating ng eleven thirty

Hinahanda na ang aming sarili

Na rumampa, kabugin

At bagyuhin ang kantin

Sa pagbukas ng pintuan

Agad natanaw ang kanyang kakisigan

Mga brasong sumasalok ng gulaman

O kay sarap namang titigan

Sa mop na kanyang ini–islide

Kami napapa-jusko day

Sa pag-abot niya ng lollipop

We just can’t make ourselves stop

Sa pagbili ng aming kakainin

Option namin siyang bilhin

Pero kung di niya kakayanin

Pwede ring siya na lang ang ulamin

Sa bawat hagod niya ng gulaman

Nanginginig ang aming kalamnan

Tuloy di namalayan

Kami na pala’y kanyang sinuklian

Si Papa Allan.

Bow.

From the hustle and bustle
That I once was
I’ve grown into a city
Of abandon and decay

Of barren spaces and empty lots
Of shattered pillars and aimless words
Many came but have gone astray
None remained nor chose to stay

So when you came to me
I counted the days until you leave
Praying you will linger
Whilst anticipating your desertion

And you left, but that’s okay
You are not to blame
For you deserve
A better place

Come over me someday
When I am
All healed
And bloomed

Maybe then
I could be your paradise
Maybe then
You’d choose to stay

Dear Joma,

Writing love letters isn’t really my thing. But for you I will. I will do just about anything, in order to paint a smile on your face—that smile that changed my life in a snap, lit up my world when it was dark and empty, and caught my heart years back. And besides, it’s Valentine’s Day, why not give it a shot?

It has been 3 years, 6 months and 12 days since the day I met you. To be honest, those aren’t really the exact days or months that we met, because for me, that doesn’t really matter at all. What matters most is this feeling. Believe me when I say that, darling, this feeling has not changed since day 1. This feeling still makes my heart skip a beat when our eyes meet. It still gives me butterflies when our hands intertwine. And, it has always made me feel that it is best being in your arms.

I don’t want to be all cheesy, though. All I want is to make you happy, to make you feel special on this day of hearts, and to make you realize that someone will always be here for you no matter what happens. I’m cutting this letter short now for every word, every line, and every character in this letter is nothing compared to what my heart speaks about. Well, just let me tell you this: Worry not if this letter is too short for you. I still have forever to tell you everything I want to say, right?

Time may pass, seasons may change, sweets will melt, and roses will wilt, but this you should remember my dear: whatever happens, my love for you will never fade. I love you, dear, to the moon or whatever planet and back, from now until the end of time.

Love,
Emanon

-----

Dear Emanon,

You see, when I pored through your letter and recognized the hand that first wrote to me three Valentines back, I knew the familiar feeling right away. The thrill of gazing at your handwriting, knowing that it's your love that it contains, I just know it all too well. Three years have passed, but I still love you just the same.

It's true, many things about us now have gone astray from our old ways. The coffee you once liked mugged and strong has been exchanged for a cupped and whipped treat. The handkerchief you once insisted on placing in your breast pocket has lately been finding its way to your trousers'. Almost every detail in you has changed. Sometimes, it makes me wonder if it's still the one I love I see when I look at you every day. But it's been years, and nobody is to blame.

We both have grown, but I am grateful that it's not our love that we chose to amend. You still hold my hand on those dark, cold nights. I still get chills every time you look at me. And these little things are proof that the love we share has never faltered after three long years.

No matter how much you change, please do know that I will still love you over and over again. I love you, dear. I always have, and I always will.

Love,
Joma

You Never Even Liked Me
INC101

You and I were together most of the time
But mostly during Foreign Language time
Listening to your jam instead of the teacher
And as time passed, my heart moved closer
To you
I do
I guess I did fall in love
With you
It’s true
I can shout it to the heavens above
Hopefully looking for a miracle
That someone like you would want someone like me
Because I know I fell, quickly and suddenly
Even though I know it shouldn’t be

You and I kept our friendship
With you not knowing what I hide
But I know what I felt was deep
And couldn’t be kept inside
So I showed signs
Yes, I did
But did you even feel that it meant something?
I’m tired so I stopped; I hid what I hid
And now I’m left with nothing

I know what I’ve seen
I know what I’ve done
But that doesn’t mean
That my feelings are gone
I’ve loved you for so long
That now I must go
For I’ve done this so wrong
That you still don’t know

So as we look at each other
Eye to eye
I want you to know
That we—no,
You and I
I know that we’re not meant to be
Because you
You never even liked me

I Know

Joma

We’ve spent quite some time together

From our classes in school

To the local ice cream parlor

But I never know you’d be a fool

A dunce

And all

To drop me clues

To me, to fall

The codes you have sent

I have cracked them well

To choose to stumble with full intent

I am not heartless or cruel

It’s just that I have known all along

That loving once more is wrong

Years of loving have taught me

That love is one sick fraudulent story

It is a path to your destroying

And leads to nothing but an ending

I was hurt for so long

There wasn’t anything but be strong

Now you must know

I know of your misery and sorrow

It’s too late to be saying this

But I wish I did a better job

Of showing you the red light

Now you’re tired and hopeless

I’m sorry for causing you distress

If only there’s a stop button you could press

To stop your loving

To stop your hurting

My heart’s hurt, too

But I cannot love you

Let’s now stop this game of falling

And chasing

Am I still making sense?

Forgive me

But I cannot love you

It is tragic
How every night
I wish to not
Be woken up

How every morning
I wake up knowing
That things just aren’t
How they used to be

But no matter
How much I try
To keep myself
From this painful truth

It will still
Hold true:
You are not mine
Anymore

Maybe
All along
Never in me
Did you belong

Maybe
All you wanted
Was to put on
A show

But I
Will have
No more
Of this misery

I will no longer
Play victim
To the villain
That is you

Remember this
As your final show
For I
Am letting you go

I am sorry.
The red of the roses
You gave me
Now has faded.

I am sorry.
The silver of the necklace
You tied ’round my neck
Now has tarnished.

I am sorry.
The brightness of the brown
In your eyes when you see me
Now has gone dull.

I am sorry.
For putting out
The fire in the love
You had for me.

I am
The one to blame.
I have no
Right to feel pain.

But it still hurts
I never wanted you to go.
But you did.
And it was my fault.

If I can ask
For just one chance
I would.
But no, I know you won’t allow it.

And darling I understand why
For I am guilty of conviction.
I was unworthy.
I’m sorry.

Literary: No Return

Literary: Sunset

Literary: Zero Clicks Given

Literary: Not Sorry

Literary: I am Not Your Compensation

Literary: Our Rightful Place

Literary: Value

Literary: Set Yourself on Fire x I Drown in Rain

Literary: Virtuous People

Literary: You are Not My Valentine

Literary: Else If

Literary: Cheater's Kiss

Literary: Musings

Literary: An Ode to Your Promises

Spoof Literary: Si Papa Allan

Literary: Nirvana

Literary: Unchanging

Literary: You Never Even Liked Me x I Know

Literary: Your Love was a Hoax

Literary: Sorry

Welcome

Featured Post

Going online in 3... 2...

Blog Archive