english,
I received mail. It’s the letter that I sent to you.
It read:
I find myself looking for you in the room even though I promised myself not to.
I contradict myself every time I see you--- you with the pretty face, pixie hair, green eyes, and contagious smile.
I want to talk to you, run away with you, dance with you, and sing with you. The problem is that every time I do, my life comes to ruins.
I know I’m alone and lonely. Whenever I’m with you, my surroundings vanish, everyone is silent, and I don’t care what people think I am. I yearn for that feeling, but I have to wake up. I have to make myself remember that I can’t be with you. We can’t be together. You’re my best friend, my listener, and my partner-in-crime. You protect me, but every time you do, I lose. I lose myself.
I remember our first conversation. I was at the back of the room trying to disappear. You came to the class confidently and sat beside me. We exchanged names, numbers, and interests. You paved your way into my system. Your whole being made me attracted to you. I love those times, but now, I need to burn them. I need to choose to say goodbye to you. That is the only way for me to live.
Goodbye, forever.
---
I sigh and closed the door. It has been months since I last saw you. I hope to never see you again but, it seems that luck is not by my side today. As soon as I turn around, you show up with that pretty face of yours.
“I’ll stay no matter what,” you said.
“No. You can’t. I have to face reality.”
“Why are you so cruel to me? I did nothing wrong. Please, let me stay,” you pleaded.
I stared at those teary eyes. I started to lose my senses. Once again, you’re taking over my system. I began to think about those years with you. It was the best time of my life. You were a great friend who would never leave me.
Thankfully, I heard my alarm. I reached for my water jug and a small white opaque tablet.
“Don’t please!”
“This is for the best,” I smiled and took my pills.
---
I’m sure that you’ll come back, but I will always choose to live attached in this reality.
Literary: I Choose to Say Goodbye
I received mail. It’s the letter that I sent to you.
It read:
I find myself looking for you in the room even though I promised myself not to.
I contradict myself every time I see you--- you with the pretty face, pixie hair, green eyes, and contagious smile.
I want to talk to you, run away with you, dance with you, and sing with you. The problem is that every time I do, my life comes to ruins.
I know I’m alone and lonely. Whenever I’m with you, my surroundings vanish, everyone is silent, and I don’t care what people think I am. I yearn for that feeling, but I have to wake up. I have to make myself remember that I can’t be with you. We can’t be together. You’re my best friend, my listener, and my partner-in-crime. You protect me, but every time you do, I lose. I lose myself.
I remember our first conversation. I was at the back of the room trying to disappear. You came to the class confidently and sat beside me. We exchanged names, numbers, and interests. You paved your way into my system. Your whole being made me attracted to you. I love those times, but now, I need to burn them. I need to choose to say goodbye to you. That is the only way for me to live.
Goodbye, forever.
---
I sigh and closed the door. It has been months since I last saw you. I hope to never see you again but, it seems that luck is not by my side today. As soon as I turn around, you show up with that pretty face of yours.
“I’ll stay no matter what,” you said.
“No. You can’t. I have to face reality.”
“Why are you so cruel to me? I did nothing wrong. Please, let me stay,” you pleaded.
I stared at those teary eyes. I started to lose my senses. Once again, you’re taking over my system. I began to think about those years with you. It was the best time of my life. You were a great friend who would never leave me.
Thankfully, I heard my alarm. I reached for my water jug and a small white opaque tablet.
“Don’t please!”
“This is for the best,” I smiled and took my pills.
---
I’m sure that you’ll come back, but I will always choose to live attached in this reality.
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