corny blue,

Literary: Lies upon Lies

5/26/2017 08:36:00 PM Media Center 0 Comments

Have you ever looked at the mirror and realized,
Instead of seeing yourself,
You see a different person.
A person everyone thinks you are
But a person you know you’re not.

I thought it’d just be a matter of time
And I’d learn to get used to it.
But living your whole life pretending,
Lying to everyone and to yourself,
Can be tiring, too.

I wish I could tell someone
But how, if nobody cares?
Well, I thought,
Nobody should know
Because I’m no different;
They’re just sullen thoughts
From my pensive mind.
Aside from that,
I am normal
Or at least,
I can be.

So, I kept lying:
I force a smile,
Instead of letting tears run down my face.
They hear laughter,
Instead of my sorrow and agony.
I’ve been tough and ecstatic,
Instead of being vulnerable and despondent,
The real me.
I kept on fooling myself,
By telling everyone “I’m okay”,
Even if I’m really not.

Concealing all of my lies
By simply putting on a fake smile.

I kept on going…
With great courage
And hope.
With positive insights
And ravishing thoughts,
But I lied again.
‘Cause the sad truth is:
I am tired.
I am a coward
And pathetic.
I am impuissant
With lethal thoughts.
I want to give up;
But I did not.
Because I must live.
I need to.
I keep forcing myself
Because the pain won’t last
It’ll be alright
And perfect!
I’ll be happy
‘Cause I can
And I am

Another lie.