DiMaAninag,
Spoof Literary: Journal ni DPC
Dear Journal,
Sorry bro, ‘di talaga kasi ako marunong mag-journal. But I know ito raw ‘yung ginagamit ng mga people to express what their nararamdaman is, like parang diary? or dairy ba ‘yon? I really don’t alam. Pero I’ll try my best sa journal na ‘to.
So dude pareh tsong, today was so lit. I went to the McLibee tapos I went to the counter.
Nakangiting sinabi sa’kin ni kuya cashier, “Sir, this side na lang po,”
So sinundan ko siya and I was like parang na-weirdohan kasi it’s confusing na na-confuse siya. O, ‘di ba pati ikaw na-confuse sa confusing na sinabi ko. Anyway so I followed him and he was like,
“Sige, sir, this side po tayo,” sabi niya again sa’kin and my face was literally mukhang napasabak sa Trigonometry class with Juan Las Klas of my life. As in I was nata-meme, pero ‘di dahil sa na love at first sight ako kay koya. But because na “luh?” at first hear ako kay koya.
“I’m sorry?” sabi ko kay kuya cashier.
“Okay lang po, take your time,” sagot niya sa’kin while smiling tapos parang nang-aasar na siyang hindi ko maintindihan kasi malay ko ba kung pinagti-tripan niya lang ako.
Baka naman maybe kasi mukha talaga akong “cuteful-looking” na taong person. Oh ‘di ba, I’m super conyo pa like super vulnerable ako sa mga trip ng mga people. My chinito burgisness is so obvious and people are so madaling niloloko si ako. So I thought he was playing games with me talaga. Edi sana tumakbo na ako, ako pala yung taya, char!
Pero anyway, ‘di ko na na-keri yung panloloko ni kuya guy, so I asked, “Pano pong “this side”? I can’t ma-gets kuya,” sabi ko, while kamot-ing my ulo.
Of course, no surprise but pero, sumagot si kuya!
He said, “This side po kayo, ser. This side po kayo ng order,”
Ako namang cutie ang braincells, ‘di pa rin naintindihan. So I asked, yet again.
“This side ako ng order?” sabi ng napakagwapo kong mga labi.
“This side po, magdecide po kayo ng order,” sagot niya.
And I was like yung parang meme na where you’ll see this:
Me:
My last braincells:
Yung counter:
Si McLibee:
‘Di ba? Nakakaloka! Pero at least nakuha ko yung order ko, kasi naman, it was April 1st pala, so ‘yon, pinagtripan ako ni koya cashier guy. but it’s okay, kasi my hunger was filled. HAHAHA ano daw???
So ‘yon, yun lang naman ang funny moment ko today, Journal. Nakaka-Loki, Son of Odin! Sana nag-enjoy ka. ‘Til next time again, Journal!
Your very truly handsomely awesome writer,
Dwud Peireh Zhong.
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