english,
Literary: Lullabies
Whenever people are asked, “What would you do if you had the ability to go back in time?” most of them would answer, they’d want to go back to a time when they felt happiness.
She wistfully smiles and responds with the same answer. If it was made possible, she’d wish to go back to a time when happiness was within her grasp, when breathing seemed lighter and easier to do. She’d wish that if she could ever go back in time, she’d meet him once again, because life was never the same when he left.
Every night as she closes her eyes before drifting off to sleep, she hopes that she’ll wake up to the bitter scent of cocoa and deliciously-cooked champorado, as well as the blaring news on the radio. When she jumps off her bed and heads to the kitchen, she’d see him there with that familiar, welcoming smile, the same smile she’d see when he’d send her off to school. Even for a short while, she’d be able to feel what it’s like to be a child once again.
She’d wish to hear his hums and his voice again as he tried to get her to sleep. She grew up hearing the same lullabies over and over again, and yet she never grew tired of them. Every siesta, and every night whenever something troubled her and she couldn’t fall asleep, his voice always comforted her. It was a reassurance that everything would be alright.
She’d wish to be able to spend more time with him, like how they usually spent the rest of the day after school. They’d eat at this stall near her school building. They’d sing along to the songs playing on the radio while driving home.
Every night, she tries to recall the feeling of having his arms wrapped around her. She was used to the feeling of his warm embrace whenever she crumbled down in times of sorrow. She felt safe, happy, relieved, all these different feelings at once—yet somehow, in their small little world, everything made sense to her.
He was her best friend, the person she felt closest to, the person she loved dearly—and it pains her to think that he now only lives in her memories, every single memory with him vividly etched in her brain.
If she were to go back in time, she would wish to see his smile and hear his lullabies once more.
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