Literary: As If We Never Met

4/28/2021 06:22:00 PM Media Center 0 Comments

        You’re probably reading this at 2:56 AM, or maybe you won’t see this at all━whatever. It doesn’t matter. I know how much of a night owl you are. You listen to your favorite artists at midnight, before going to bed. Sometimes, you even watch an episode of your favorite show to help you fall asleep. You rarely talk to your friends because I know how much you hate talking at all. Yet, you still managed to keep our conversation going even if we ran out of things to talk about. I was such a storyteller, and you were a great listener. Great match, weren't we?

        I ventured with colors while you embraced monochrome. You liked to stay realistic rather than to drown in your illusions. You opened my eyes to a different perception in life. And as I opened my eyes, you too, saw a different light. You made me realize that living in a black-and-white world wasn’t such a bad thing, and how the gray areas give more depth to a portrait. It emphasized the shadows and highlights of reality. I was fascinated by the way you think. I was fascinated by you.

        You introduced me to the contrasts of decisions. You taught me how to play chess━I mean, of course, I know the rules of the game, but you showed me the fastest way to check the king. I tried to beat you so many times, but I would always fail. I was no match for you, even if you gave me infinite chances of winning, I still couldn’t win. You know how much I hated this game but, I liked playing it with you.

        We did things we didn’t know we would. You sang to me even when you said you weren’t confident in singing. I showed you some of the poems I wrote even if I wasn’t sure you could understand a single word I wrote. You stayed even if you already planned to leave, just because I asked you to. And for that, I couldn’t thank you enough. As time passed by, we became strangers no more. I found comfort in your silence and I bet, you found meaning in my chaos. Unfortunately, the harmony didn't last long.

        I discovered many things about you, but those weren’t enough for me to see who you really were. People change along with time. The differences that once brought us together, now, tear us apart. You were so comfortable with the silence that you forgot to speak, and I was screaming, trying to reach out to you. It was tiring. Well, I never got a response, so I stopped making noise. Your silence made me realize that maybe the person who I thought listened to my stories then, never really heard anything at all. I could no longer see the person who once made me smile because I was blinded by the tears that kept pouring at night. That’s when I knew, the person I asked to stay has already left a long time ago.

        I hate you for coming into my life, but I hate myself even more for letting you in. I want to remember the feeling I once felt when I was with you. I want to cherish the little things that we did together. I want to remember the memories we made, but I also want to forget the person who gave me those. I want to remember every single time I was happy, but not the person who gave me that smile when I needed it the most. I want my heart to feel the same comfort in your voice, but I also want to forget every deceitful word you told me. I want to bury your name as if I’ve never heard of it, but not to nurture the sentiments I grew within. I want to forget the things about you that hold me captive. I want to forget what you look like, how long your lashes are, how shaggy your hair looks, and how pale your skin is. I don’t want to remember the way your eyes gleam whenever you act like a child. I don’t want to remember your pretty smile. I just don’t want to remember you at all.