english,
Unchangeable.
I have been here for what feels like decades
Stumbling around blindly,
Feeling for a switch—
But some things never change
It's the way it has always been
I spread myself too thin
And cause my own destruction
I say too much
And crumble far too easily
The world carelessly gives away a chance
To take it back just as bluntly
I know how to survive, to keep my heartbeat steady
Be unfazed, older and wiser
Perhaps embittered, acrimonious
I know that things do not change
And they will not for me
So I should not be surprised
As I sit, bleeding
As the walls press in
The way they have hundreds of times before.
And yet I am.
I close my eyes.
Stubborn like a scar,
It boldly stays even when it knows it is what wounds me.
I take a breath and hold it in
Slow the pace of my heart
Retreat into the softer corners of my mind
Prepare a greeting for an old friend
I call myself a cynic
I like to think I am immovable
Something to fall back into when the rug is pulled out from under me
And my pride hollows out once again
But in truth
I'm as vulnerable as when I first opened my eyes
And I open them now
Knowing my youth is so evident,
So loud in my ears
And naiveté still has me at its beck and call
While I hate to say it
The stories always reside in my mind
Each one a beacon
Signaling there's more to come
A selfish friend,
A relentless one
Still holds a capacity in my heart,
A space I reserved,
Holding me hostage
In the same place it first sunk its claws
It will not let go.
Hope.
Unchangeable;
Some things never change
I would never admit it, but I am grateful
Literary: Unchangeable
I have been here for what feels like decades
Stumbling around blindly,
Feeling for a switch—
But some things never change
It's the way it has always been
I spread myself too thin
And cause my own destruction
I say too much
And crumble far too easily
The world carelessly gives away a chance
To take it back just as bluntly
I know how to survive, to keep my heartbeat steady
Be unfazed, older and wiser
Perhaps embittered, acrimonious
I know that things do not change
And they will not for me
So I should not be surprised
As I sit, bleeding
As the walls press in
The way they have hundreds of times before.
And yet I am.
I close my eyes.
Stubborn like a scar,
It boldly stays even when it knows it is what wounds me.
I take a breath and hold it in
Slow the pace of my heart
Retreat into the softer corners of my mind
Prepare a greeting for an old friend
I call myself a cynic
I like to think I am immovable
Something to fall back into when the rug is pulled out from under me
And my pride hollows out once again
But in truth
I'm as vulnerable as when I first opened my eyes
And I open them now
Knowing my youth is so evident,
So loud in my ears
And naiveté still has me at its beck and call
While I hate to say it
The stories always reside in my mind
Each one a beacon
Signaling there's more to come
A selfish friend,
A relentless one
Still holds a capacity in my heart,
A space I reserved,
Holding me hostage
In the same place it first sunk its claws
It will not let go.
Hope.
Unchangeable;
Some things never change
I would never admit it, but I am grateful
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