english,
With a heavy heart and a drained mind, I lay alone in the darkness. Slowly losing my breath, I felt tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t help but feel that no one was there for me, that no one would take me seriously, that I was left alone to win this fight.
I got up, walked towards my desk, and took the notebook that had been tucked away in my drawer. As I opened it, I saw that it was blank. I quickly grabbed a pen and started writing.
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October 14, 2020 - 11:00 pm
With so much going on right now, it’s no surprise that everyone is having difficulty in everything. But I am experiencing something that I have never experienced before. I’m feeling lost, as if I’m in the middle of the ocean. I feel heavy, as if I'm being pulled by gravity. And I feel blank as if my mind is a dead screen.
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I didn't know what else to write so I left my notebook on the desk. I walked back to my bed and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. The next thing I knew was that I was crying my eyes out. I eventually cried myself to sleep when, suddenly, I was rudely awakened by a loud roar of thunder. I checked the time and it was almost twelve midnight, I was asleep for less than an hour. This made me mad. Just when I thought I could sleep through my pain, the universe decided not to let me rest. I furiously rubbed my face to wake myself up and I rushed back to my desk.
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October 15, 2020 - 12:00 am
Why suffer from pain now if I could just go? Go to that place they call paradise, where you don't have to worry about a thing.
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I wrote with rage while tears uncontrollably fell on the paper, I was writing with so much force that what I was writing left a mark on the next few pages. I slammed the notebook shut, threw the pen, and banged my head on the desk, making a loud thud. A minute later, while I was repeatedly hitting my head on my table, I heard whining on the other side of my door, followed by a bark. I got up to check who it was. I saw a furry ball with two shiny dots staring at me. It shone like an angel as its fur met with the light. I tilted my head and it tilted its own.
Wiping my tears away, I asked, “Where did you come from, little one?” As I spoke, I saw its tail wagging gently. I let it in and saw that it was a female puppy. I gave her some food and water then I sat by the wall. When she finished, she came to just sit in front of me.
A few minutes passed by and I sniffed a slightly foul odor. I stood up and walked around, looking for the source of the scent. I couldn't find it so I made my way back to my spot; the puppy was still there and as I sat down the odor grew stronger. I found out that it was coming from the puppy, so I gave her a bath. While in the shower, she was calm and patiently waited for the bath to finish; she wasn’t feisty at all. As I was scrubbing her fur, she licked my nose and it looked like she was smiling. I smiled back.
As I rinsed her down, she yelped. I quickly looked for the spot I last rinsed and saw a wound about the size of a dime. I hurriedly dried her up and scrambled to my drawer, looking for a medical kit. I cleaned her wound and gently applied ointment safe for dogs to the scar. When we finished, she kept yawning, then I remembered that I had just recently changed my pillow so I could make a comfy bed for the puppy. I got a plastic box and placed the pillow at the bottom of it. I then got a soft blanket and placed it on top of the box. I carried her and let her go in herself; she was just sniffing it at first but then she eventually lied down.
I sat in front of her box and as we stared at each other, I saw that she slowly started to close her eyes. I stroked her head and soon, she fell asleep. I didn’t realize that I fell asleep, sitting with my head tilted to the side, until I found myself waking up. I checked the time and it was just 12:34 am. I looked down and saw that the puppy was awake too. A thought came to me and I got up, picked her up, and walked towards my desk once again.
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October 15, 2020 - 12:35
I just made a new friend. I couldn't help but think, what will happen when I'm gone? What will happen to my friends and family? Who will take care of this little one when I’m gone? I don’t think anyone near would take good care of her if I leave.
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When I finished writing, I told myself, “No, I shouldn't do this. I can't leave knowing that the people I love will suffer. Bearing my own pain is far better than causing the pain of many.” I knew that the right thing to do was to endure my pain and suffering. I needed to control myself, find things to distract myself from everything that brought me pain, play with my new friend, talk to my friends, spend time with my family, or, basically, do what made me happy. I decided to give the little one a name, a name that goes well with what I felt that day. I named her Hope. Hearing her name would remind me of what she did and how she helped me.
The following morning, I got dressed along with Hope, called my friends for a meet-up, spent time with my family, took Hope to the park, and went to the beach blasting music. I did the things that would help me calm myself, help me recover, help me regain my strength.
When I got home, I saw the notebook still on my desk. With three pages inked, I ripped all three out. I shredded two of the pages and posted the remaining one on my wall to ask myself: “What will happen when I'm gone? What will happen to all of the people who are close to me? What will happen to my family? Who will take care of this little one when I’m gone?”
The pain that I felt was temporary. Leaving is permanent. I can't go back if I leave. There will be a lot of irreversible damage, to both me and my loved ones. There is still hope during this time; don’t forget, everything happens for a reason. Nothing can keep you imprisoned. Every challenge, whether mental or physical, is just an obstacle. You will face it and overcome it. That is your goal. Don't lose hope.
Literary: The Light in the Darkness
I got up, walked towards my desk, and took the notebook that had been tucked away in my drawer. As I opened it, I saw that it was blank. I quickly grabbed a pen and started writing.
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October 14, 2020 - 11:00 pm
With so much going on right now, it’s no surprise that everyone is having difficulty in everything. But I am experiencing something that I have never experienced before. I’m feeling lost, as if I’m in the middle of the ocean. I feel heavy, as if I'm being pulled by gravity. And I feel blank as if my mind is a dead screen.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I didn't know what else to write so I left my notebook on the desk. I walked back to my bed and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. The next thing I knew was that I was crying my eyes out. I eventually cried myself to sleep when, suddenly, I was rudely awakened by a loud roar of thunder. I checked the time and it was almost twelve midnight, I was asleep for less than an hour. This made me mad. Just when I thought I could sleep through my pain, the universe decided not to let me rest. I furiously rubbed my face to wake myself up and I rushed back to my desk.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
October 15, 2020 - 12:00 am
Why suffer from pain now if I could just go? Go to that place they call paradise, where you don't have to worry about a thing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I wrote with rage while tears uncontrollably fell on the paper, I was writing with so much force that what I was writing left a mark on the next few pages. I slammed the notebook shut, threw the pen, and banged my head on the desk, making a loud thud. A minute later, while I was repeatedly hitting my head on my table, I heard whining on the other side of my door, followed by a bark. I got up to check who it was. I saw a furry ball with two shiny dots staring at me. It shone like an angel as its fur met with the light. I tilted my head and it tilted its own.
Wiping my tears away, I asked, “Where did you come from, little one?” As I spoke, I saw its tail wagging gently. I let it in and saw that it was a female puppy. I gave her some food and water then I sat by the wall. When she finished, she came to just sit in front of me.
A few minutes passed by and I sniffed a slightly foul odor. I stood up and walked around, looking for the source of the scent. I couldn't find it so I made my way back to my spot; the puppy was still there and as I sat down the odor grew stronger. I found out that it was coming from the puppy, so I gave her a bath. While in the shower, she was calm and patiently waited for the bath to finish; she wasn’t feisty at all. As I was scrubbing her fur, she licked my nose and it looked like she was smiling. I smiled back.
As I rinsed her down, she yelped. I quickly looked for the spot I last rinsed and saw a wound about the size of a dime. I hurriedly dried her up and scrambled to my drawer, looking for a medical kit. I cleaned her wound and gently applied ointment safe for dogs to the scar. When we finished, she kept yawning, then I remembered that I had just recently changed my pillow so I could make a comfy bed for the puppy. I got a plastic box and placed the pillow at the bottom of it. I then got a soft blanket and placed it on top of the box. I carried her and let her go in herself; she was just sniffing it at first but then she eventually lied down.
I sat in front of her box and as we stared at each other, I saw that she slowly started to close her eyes. I stroked her head and soon, she fell asleep. I didn’t realize that I fell asleep, sitting with my head tilted to the side, until I found myself waking up. I checked the time and it was just 12:34 am. I looked down and saw that the puppy was awake too. A thought came to me and I got up, picked her up, and walked towards my desk once again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
October 15, 2020 - 12:35
I just made a new friend. I couldn't help but think, what will happen when I'm gone? What will happen to my friends and family? Who will take care of this little one when I’m gone? I don’t think anyone near would take good care of her if I leave.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When I finished writing, I told myself, “No, I shouldn't do this. I can't leave knowing that the people I love will suffer. Bearing my own pain is far better than causing the pain of many.” I knew that the right thing to do was to endure my pain and suffering. I needed to control myself, find things to distract myself from everything that brought me pain, play with my new friend, talk to my friends, spend time with my family, or, basically, do what made me happy. I decided to give the little one a name, a name that goes well with what I felt that day. I named her Hope. Hearing her name would remind me of what she did and how she helped me.
The following morning, I got dressed along with Hope, called my friends for a meet-up, spent time with my family, took Hope to the park, and went to the beach blasting music. I did the things that would help me calm myself, help me recover, help me regain my strength.
When I got home, I saw the notebook still on my desk. With three pages inked, I ripped all three out. I shredded two of the pages and posted the remaining one on my wall to ask myself: “What will happen when I'm gone? What will happen to all of the people who are close to me? What will happen to my family? Who will take care of this little one when I’m gone?”
The pain that I felt was temporary. Leaving is permanent. I can't go back if I leave. There will be a lot of irreversible damage, to both me and my loved ones. There is still hope during this time; don’t forget, everything happens for a reason. Nothing can keep you imprisoned. Every challenge, whether mental or physical, is just an obstacle. You will face it and overcome it. That is your goal. Don't lose hope.
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