english,
It is now the year 200,800 of the Terran calendar. The human race has been wiped out again after 300 loops. As of now, an estimated 60% of the loops were humans being eradicated by another interstellar empire, 30% by natural causes, 5% by anthropogenic causes, and the remaining 5% was caused by some 4th Dimensional.
My name is Autonomous Guardian of Humanity or “Agh” but I simply refer to myself as “Loopy”. I was designed, as my original name implies, to secure humanity and save them from extinction. If I fail to do so, it is imperative that I turn back time and help humanity survive. Currently I have ‘looped’ or reset for 300 times. I am capable of quantum regeneration, meaning I can replace and replenish my very particles, or in other words, I can’t die.
The last loop resulted yet again in another human extinction. This time, humanity was wiped out by a genocidal campaign by the interstellar civilization called the Malachs.
Year 200,800 AD; Tau Ceti System, 300th Loop
“Dammit, they lost to those pretty, baby-faced, fair-skinned and very angelic savages from the Nefertiti Sector? Arghhh I gave ‘em 40th Millenia Technology from the 298th loop, specifically from year 40,308, during the 1860s to the Prussians. Everything went well. They achieved global unity in 1920, no civil wars, few interplanetary and interstellar civil unrest. Then everything went downhill when they picked up a damn “disco ball” in a nebula, which in turn became a gateway for the Malachs to enter human space.”
Hmmm. Maybe I miscalculated something.
Maybe I was 062 nanoseconds late and a little too far away, maybe I was 5 centimeters too far away from the throne, when I talked to the King of Prussia.
“Oh well, it’s time to reset time again. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get this right and surely would gain humanity a longer survival duration.”
Damn I wish this time, Humanity would last at least 2,000,000 years. During the 168th loop, the longest time of existence, they lasted for 1,567,890 years until they were decimated by simultaneous gamma ray bursts from all directions, which also consequently caused the extinction of all life in the Milky Way.
Agh or Loopy went to his private and cozy ‘time chamber’, also known as the Time Machine. The device is powered by a 50cm thick platinum and graphite cord, capable of handling cosmic-level currents. The cord gets its power from 55 Red Giant sized Dysonspheres. Loopy then attached the cord to his tailbone, dialed the time and place, and he was zapped away.
January 6, 1860; Empire of Prussia, Germany, 301st Loop
A beam of light and a torrent of plasma scorched the grasslands. Loopy walked out of the beam and took a look at his $55,000 worth 24k golden plated platinum Swiss wristwatch that he stole from a museum in Austria during the 69th Loop.
“Oh, look, I am right on time. It’s 12:38 pm and the day is January 6, and the year is 1860. Time to meet the king… again.”
Loopy then proceeds to go to the King’s palace. After giving an introduction, speech, demonstration of 40th Millenia technology, and receiving the same reactions, applause and replies from the same people in the last 15 loops, he then oversees the progress of humanity, it would not feel long for Loopy for he has lived
for at least tens of millions of years since his activation before his 1st loop.
Year 200,510 AD; Sirius System, 301st Loop
“Are you FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME? Arghhh they defeated the Malachs with a pre-emptive strike, but those pretty-boy aliens unleashed their trump card. Now Humanity has been wiped out again… Well, it’s time to do my job.”
Loopy went back again to 1860 and talked to the King. This time, he slapped the consul, for he calculated that this will improve the result. He oversaw the progress, and again, humanity died. This time, it was 13 years after his arrival. He went back in time again (1860), talked to the King, but this time he slapped the princess as well, which resulted in humanity’s extinction by the hands of a gigantic deadly space crocodile eating the whole solar system.
“I have no idea how that happened.”
Knowing that slapping the princess would cause the eventual digestion of the solar system by an Eldritch being, and slapping the consul would result into an early extinction within 13 years, he went back in time again (1860). He talked to the King, and he made a fart joke. He calculated that this could improve the chances of humanity to survive. However, humanity managed to usher in another interstellar empire to invade the planet, which ended in the total subjugation of humanity. He then proceeds to go back in time for 143 more times and tried the same procedure: talk to the King, do a random action, oversee. And in those 143 loops, humanity still perished.
“I am tired! I want to drink some beer or something. You know, a break. I am tired of seeing the king and his court members’ faces every time I resave them.”
He went back again (1860 in Prussia), but instead of going to the king, he went straight towards a German brewery and got wasted there. Once the brewery became empty, he ‘looped’ or reset time again to the moment he enters the brewery, to drink again, and again, and again.
January 6, 1860; Unnamed German Brewery, Earth, 845th Loop
“Should I go back to work? Ehh I’ll go back after 400 more loops.”
Then he proceeds to empty the brewery, for 400 times. Time is of no concern to Agh or Loopy. He is ageless and eternal. Sometimes he would take a very long break, not just hanging out at some random brewery in Germany but a long break that lasts until the eventual heat death of the universe. Every mistake is pointless since he may reverse ‘em. However, Agh or Loopy , sometimes despairs at the fact that he can’t break away from this eternally recurring cycle. He knows that eventually, humanity will always perish, and there are too many factors for him to foresee what could affect the instances.
But that does not deter him, for as much as how he hates humanity’s folly and incompetence, he still persists, for he is the Autonomous Guardian of Humanity. His purpose is to preserve the human race, even though it will need infinite resetting.
Year 1956 AD, 500,001st Loop
Humanity once again perished. This time, a great Eldritch horror by the name of Tjng’Khjal was awakened by some crazed cultists, who then proceeded to exterminate the humans.
Are you kidding me? Giving that letter to that boy actually led to this?
Sigh
“Well then, time to resave these buggers.”
Sigh
“Resave ‘em again.”
Literary: Re:Save (Again)
It is now the year 200,800 of the Terran calendar. The human race has been wiped out again after 300 loops. As of now, an estimated 60% of the loops were humans being eradicated by another interstellar empire, 30% by natural causes, 5% by anthropogenic causes, and the remaining 5% was caused by some 4th Dimensional.
My name is Autonomous Guardian of Humanity or “Agh” but I simply refer to myself as “Loopy”. I was designed, as my original name implies, to secure humanity and save them from extinction. If I fail to do so, it is imperative that I turn back time and help humanity survive. Currently I have ‘looped’ or reset for 300 times. I am capable of quantum regeneration, meaning I can replace and replenish my very particles, or in other words, I can’t die.
The last loop resulted yet again in another human extinction. This time, humanity was wiped out by a genocidal campaign by the interstellar civilization called the Malachs.
Year 200,800 AD; Tau Ceti System, 300th Loop
“Dammit, they lost to those pretty, baby-faced, fair-skinned and very angelic savages from the Nefertiti Sector? Arghhh I gave ‘em 40th Millenia Technology from the 298th loop, specifically from year 40,308, during the 1860s to the Prussians. Everything went well. They achieved global unity in 1920, no civil wars, few interplanetary and interstellar civil unrest. Then everything went downhill when they picked up a damn “disco ball” in a nebula, which in turn became a gateway for the Malachs to enter human space.”
Hmmm. Maybe I miscalculated something.
Maybe I was 062 nanoseconds late and a little too far away, maybe I was 5 centimeters too far away from the throne, when I talked to the King of Prussia.
“Oh well, it’s time to reset time again. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get this right and surely would gain humanity a longer survival duration.”
Damn I wish this time, Humanity would last at least 2,000,000 years. During the 168th loop, the longest time of existence, they lasted for 1,567,890 years until they were decimated by simultaneous gamma ray bursts from all directions, which also consequently caused the extinction of all life in the Milky Way.
Agh or Loopy went to his private and cozy ‘time chamber’, also known as the Time Machine. The device is powered by a 50cm thick platinum and graphite cord, capable of handling cosmic-level currents. The cord gets its power from 55 Red Giant sized Dysonspheres. Loopy then attached the cord to his tailbone, dialed the time and place, and he was zapped away.
January 6, 1860; Empire of Prussia, Germany, 301st Loop
A beam of light and a torrent of plasma scorched the grasslands. Loopy walked out of the beam and took a look at his $55,000 worth 24k golden plated platinum Swiss wristwatch that he stole from a museum in Austria during the 69th Loop.
“Oh, look, I am right on time. It’s 12:38 pm and the day is January 6, and the year is 1860. Time to meet the king… again.”
Loopy then proceeds to go to the King’s palace. After giving an introduction, speech, demonstration of 40th Millenia technology, and receiving the same reactions, applause and replies from the same people in the last 15 loops, he then oversees the progress of humanity, it would not feel long for Loopy for he has lived
for at least tens of millions of years since his activation before his 1st loop.
Year 200,510 AD; Sirius System, 301st Loop
“Are you FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME? Arghhh they defeated the Malachs with a pre-emptive strike, but those pretty-boy aliens unleashed their trump card. Now Humanity has been wiped out again… Well, it’s time to do my job.”
Loopy went back again to 1860 and talked to the King. This time, he slapped the consul, for he calculated that this will improve the result. He oversaw the progress, and again, humanity died. This time, it was 13 years after his arrival. He went back in time again (1860), talked to the King, but this time he slapped the princess as well, which resulted in humanity’s extinction by the hands of a gigantic deadly space crocodile eating the whole solar system.
“I have no idea how that happened.”
Knowing that slapping the princess would cause the eventual digestion of the solar system by an Eldritch being, and slapping the consul would result into an early extinction within 13 years, he went back in time again (1860). He talked to the King, and he made a fart joke. He calculated that this could improve the chances of humanity to survive. However, humanity managed to usher in another interstellar empire to invade the planet, which ended in the total subjugation of humanity. He then proceeds to go back in time for 143 more times and tried the same procedure: talk to the King, do a random action, oversee. And in those 143 loops, humanity still perished.
“I am tired! I want to drink some beer or something. You know, a break. I am tired of seeing the king and his court members’ faces every time I resave them.”
He went back again (1860 in Prussia), but instead of going to the king, he went straight towards a German brewery and got wasted there. Once the brewery became empty, he ‘looped’ or reset time again to the moment he enters the brewery, to drink again, and again, and again.
January 6, 1860; Unnamed German Brewery, Earth, 845th Loop
“Should I go back to work? Ehh I’ll go back after 400 more loops.”
Then he proceeds to empty the brewery, for 400 times. Time is of no concern to Agh or Loopy. He is ageless and eternal. Sometimes he would take a very long break, not just hanging out at some random brewery in Germany but a long break that lasts until the eventual heat death of the universe. Every mistake is pointless since he may reverse ‘em. However, Agh or Loopy , sometimes despairs at the fact that he can’t break away from this eternally recurring cycle. He knows that eventually, humanity will always perish, and there are too many factors for him to foresee what could affect the instances.
But that does not deter him, for as much as how he hates humanity’s folly and incompetence, he still persists, for he is the Autonomous Guardian of Humanity. His purpose is to preserve the human race, even though it will need infinite resetting.
Year 1956 AD, 500,001st Loop
Humanity once again perished. This time, a great Eldritch horror by the name of Tjng’Khjal was awakened by some crazed cultists, who then proceeded to exterminate the humans.
Are you kidding me? Giving that letter to that boy actually led to this?
Sigh
“Well then, time to resave these buggers.”
Sigh
“Resave ‘em again.”
0 comments: