english,
When I first thought of how I was going to die, I thought it would be heroic. I imagined myself in a stand-off with the local villain, only to die tragically as I used the last of my strength to protect a mother and child from doom. Sometimes, I'd go for the lamentable route where I'd die as a sacrificed myself by taking the bullet for my best friend in a crisis. Little did I know that in the end, it would all be so mundane.
Death didn't hurt as much as I thought it would be. It was as if I just closed my eyes, and it all ended in a flash. There was a tug in my chest, and butterflies filled my stomach, like every time I rode rollercoasters. The moment I opened my eyes again, I wasn't on my bed. I was greeted by the blinding brightness of Hollywood-style heaven. Complete with the children’s choir background music, and the countless angels, with all their wings and floating feathers, one of which fell into my gaping mouth and half-choked me to second death.
One angel in a dazzlingly white gown led me to a line leading up to the pearly white gates. I'm not even kidding, there were pearls as wide as fingernails set into the gates, and it even showed off this faint golden glow. All it was lacking was a large golden sign of Cupid pointing to "Heaven."
As I waited in line, I thought to myself that this was monumental. This was my time to face the one and only Big One, The Dude (or Dudette), The Ultimate Judger. Yet I felt a pang in my chest, the waiting filled me with dread. What if I'm not cut out for heaven? Am I good enough?
At last, I reached the gates and was escorted into a monstrous citadel. This is probably where God lives, I thought to myself. At the end of a hallway, we reached an unassuming wooden door. Even God needs budget cuts sometimes.
As I entered, I was shocked as the room was full of angels, sitting on high seats. I gazed up at them, for I was like a lion in a cage, and they were but spectators from above.
"Since before eternity, mortals have presented themselves at the end of their lives to this Council to be assessed; this is the Law and will continue until the end of eternity. You understand that you now stand before us, and your every move is your key and your betrayer for your chance in Heaven?” a booming voice called out before me.
"I-uh yes," I replied, without understanding what he just said.
"Let us begin," he called forth once more.
"You know, 37 years is quite pitiful an age to die. So young...and with so few achievements. Graduated fine, yet took numerous tries to get a steady job. Did get a job as an editor for a local publishing house after a while of searching. Married...and that’s about it. Your record says not much else,” blurted out a ridiculously condescending voice.
"What makes you think you deserve to be here?” asked one.
“Uh-,” I was tongue-tied. Before I could think of something, they already fired in quick succession.
"You see, there are those here who have won Nobel Prizes, saved hundreds of lives, or have won championships in the name of their country, yet what have you done? What makes you think you’re on the same level as them to deserve Heaven?" asked another.
"I believe the one who came before you died tragically from a stand-off with a local villain as he used the last of his strength to protect a mother and child from doom," commented one, with a grin.
“What is a hundred lives saved or the hundreds of other worthy applicants waiting in line to a measly life led by a no one like you? You are nothing. If anything you are a zero. It perfectly signifies your achievements,” sneered the condescending one yet again.
That’s enough! They’re beating me into a corner here. I mustered all my courage and exclaimed, "But ladies and gentlewings, a hundred couldn't possibly be greater than zero!”
"I must be going deaf if I just heard you say zero has any possibility of becoming greater than a hundred," muttered one.
"Oh but you've heard me quite clearly. You see I've lived well past several hundreds of days, survived hundreds of days of schooling, and took hundreds of requirements and tests. After that, I labored for hundreds of days and nights to persist in a society that has deemed me unworthy well before I have died. Yet there is no greater achievement than the zero birthdays of my parents I missed. A hundred is no better than the zero anniversaries I neglected, or the zero friends I have forgotten through the years,” I answered.
“That doesn’t make you any worthier than anyone else,” said one.
“I didn’t say I was. I only meant that although I have had less in my also short-lived life, I have gained triumphs. What of the lesser numbers that makes them inferior? I had one wife, but there could never be anyone for me than her. She is the only one who genuinely understood me, the only one I’ve ever truly loved. I only have one heart, or I had one, yet she will have it for eternity,” I blurted that out so quickly even I couldn’t keep up with what I said.
The hall was filled with silence.
“I’ve been married to her for ten years, it’s a little unfair really,” I continued. “You talk as if everyone gets the chance to live to a hundred. As if we all have the chance, the time, or the talents to live up to your divine expectations. But I’ve had 37 years, it’s all that I have been given, yet even now I would never trade it for infinity. There is meaning in even just one fleeting life, I know because all this time I’ve tried searching for it. You can even ask God, because he knows I’ve tried.”
Yet again, greeted with silence.
“You’ve got spirit, I can tell you that. You may leave the hall, you will return when we tell you to,” an angel says curtly.
I was escorted out of the room, and I hit my head on the wall with a sigh. What was I thinking, what if I looked like a lunatic? “You can even ask God?” Was I looking for a fight, I’m doomed.
I waited outside and I slowly lost my patience, has it been an hour? Or maybe only minutes? Does time exist in Heaven? Maybe I could ask an angel. If they let me stay here, that is.
Finally, the doors opened for me once more, and with a resigned sigh, I entered the hall.
“You have been given a chance, and this has now passed,” said the booming voice.
I felt a tugging in my chest.
“We have judged you fairly in the name of Heaven,” Is this what a person feels when they die a second time?
There were butterflies in my stomach.
“Everyone gets only what they deserve, nothing more, nothing less,” what if I never meet here again in heaven?
It’ll be finished in a flash.
“You will now receive our verdict.” Was it kindness in his voice or was it pity?
I closed my eyes.
Literary: Zero
When I first thought of how I was going to die, I thought it would be heroic. I imagined myself in a stand-off with the local villain, only to die tragically as I used the last of my strength to protect a mother and child from doom. Sometimes, I'd go for the lamentable route where I'd die as a sacrificed myself by taking the bullet for my best friend in a crisis. Little did I know that in the end, it would all be so mundane.
Death didn't hurt as much as I thought it would be. It was as if I just closed my eyes, and it all ended in a flash. There was a tug in my chest, and butterflies filled my stomach, like every time I rode rollercoasters. The moment I opened my eyes again, I wasn't on my bed. I was greeted by the blinding brightness of Hollywood-style heaven. Complete with the children’s choir background music, and the countless angels, with all their wings and floating feathers, one of which fell into my gaping mouth and half-choked me to second death.
One angel in a dazzlingly white gown led me to a line leading up to the pearly white gates. I'm not even kidding, there were pearls as wide as fingernails set into the gates, and it even showed off this faint golden glow. All it was lacking was a large golden sign of Cupid pointing to "Heaven."
As I waited in line, I thought to myself that this was monumental. This was my time to face the one and only Big One, The Dude (or Dudette), The Ultimate Judger. Yet I felt a pang in my chest, the waiting filled me with dread. What if I'm not cut out for heaven? Am I good enough?
At last, I reached the gates and was escorted into a monstrous citadel. This is probably where God lives, I thought to myself. At the end of a hallway, we reached an unassuming wooden door. Even God needs budget cuts sometimes.
As I entered, I was shocked as the room was full of angels, sitting on high seats. I gazed up at them, for I was like a lion in a cage, and they were but spectators from above.
"Since before eternity, mortals have presented themselves at the end of their lives to this Council to be assessed; this is the Law and will continue until the end of eternity. You understand that you now stand before us, and your every move is your key and your betrayer for your chance in Heaven?” a booming voice called out before me.
"I-uh yes," I replied, without understanding what he just said.
"Let us begin," he called forth once more.
"You know, 37 years is quite pitiful an age to die. So young...and with so few achievements. Graduated fine, yet took numerous tries to get a steady job. Did get a job as an editor for a local publishing house after a while of searching. Married...and that’s about it. Your record says not much else,” blurted out a ridiculously condescending voice.
"What makes you think you deserve to be here?” asked one.
“Uh-,” I was tongue-tied. Before I could think of something, they already fired in quick succession.
"You see, there are those here who have won Nobel Prizes, saved hundreds of lives, or have won championships in the name of their country, yet what have you done? What makes you think you’re on the same level as them to deserve Heaven?" asked another.
"I believe the one who came before you died tragically from a stand-off with a local villain as he used the last of his strength to protect a mother and child from doom," commented one, with a grin.
“What is a hundred lives saved or the hundreds of other worthy applicants waiting in line to a measly life led by a no one like you? You are nothing. If anything you are a zero. It perfectly signifies your achievements,” sneered the condescending one yet again.
That’s enough! They’re beating me into a corner here. I mustered all my courage and exclaimed, "But ladies and gentlewings, a hundred couldn't possibly be greater than zero!”
"I must be going deaf if I just heard you say zero has any possibility of becoming greater than a hundred," muttered one.
"Oh but you've heard me quite clearly. You see I've lived well past several hundreds of days, survived hundreds of days of schooling, and took hundreds of requirements and tests. After that, I labored for hundreds of days and nights to persist in a society that has deemed me unworthy well before I have died. Yet there is no greater achievement than the zero birthdays of my parents I missed. A hundred is no better than the zero anniversaries I neglected, or the zero friends I have forgotten through the years,” I answered.
“That doesn’t make you any worthier than anyone else,” said one.
“I didn’t say I was. I only meant that although I have had less in my also short-lived life, I have gained triumphs. What of the lesser numbers that makes them inferior? I had one wife, but there could never be anyone for me than her. She is the only one who genuinely understood me, the only one I’ve ever truly loved. I only have one heart, or I had one, yet she will have it for eternity,” I blurted that out so quickly even I couldn’t keep up with what I said.
The hall was filled with silence.
“I’ve been married to her for ten years, it’s a little unfair really,” I continued. “You talk as if everyone gets the chance to live to a hundred. As if we all have the chance, the time, or the talents to live up to your divine expectations. But I’ve had 37 years, it’s all that I have been given, yet even now I would never trade it for infinity. There is meaning in even just one fleeting life, I know because all this time I’ve tried searching for it. You can even ask God, because he knows I’ve tried.”
Yet again, greeted with silence.
“You’ve got spirit, I can tell you that. You may leave the hall, you will return when we tell you to,” an angel says curtly.
I was escorted out of the room, and I hit my head on the wall with a sigh. What was I thinking, what if I looked like a lunatic? “You can even ask God?” Was I looking for a fight, I’m doomed.
I waited outside and I slowly lost my patience, has it been an hour? Or maybe only minutes? Does time exist in Heaven? Maybe I could ask an angel. If they let me stay here, that is.
Finally, the doors opened for me once more, and with a resigned sigh, I entered the hall.
“You have been given a chance, and this has now passed,” said the booming voice.
I felt a tugging in my chest.
“We have judged you fairly in the name of Heaven,” Is this what a person feels when they die a second time?
There were butterflies in my stomach.
“Everyone gets only what they deserve, nothing more, nothing less,” what if I never meet here again in heaven?
It’ll be finished in a flash.
“You will now receive our verdict.” Was it kindness in his voice or was it pity?
I closed my eyes.
0 comments: